The Rocker Who Holds Her (The Rocker 5)

A very Emmie-like snort escaped her. “That’s pretty hard to imagine, Nik. What with those sluts pushing me away from you yesterday. And today with two skanks rubbing against you like they were in heat.”

“So you were jealous!” I couldn’t help it. I grinned. I was so happy, so excited to know for sure that she cared about me just as much as I cared about her. The sheer joy of it, something I had rarely felt in my life, spilled over and I laughed out loud.

I heard the crack of her hand hitting my cheek before the sting registered. It knocked the smile off my face and I touched the place she had hit. “I’m so glad that you find rubbing those whores in my face so funny. Who the fuck cares that a little piece of my heart dies every time I see it, right?”

“Oh, sweetheart.” I shook my head in frustration. “You really need to open those beautiful green eyes of yours.” I took the hand that she had slapped me with and kissed the reddened center. “The only reason those girls were in my arms was so I could find out the truth. Yesterday I suspected, but today I confirmed it.”

“What are you talking about?” she demanded.

“I had to know if you felt just as deeply for me as I do for you. Em, you have been driving me insane with jealousy. Do you know that I have come close to killing my best friend at least a hundred different times in the past six months alone?”

Those eyes I loved so much widened in surprise. “Jesse? But why would you do that?”

It was time to lay it all out there now. Tell her everything. I sucked in a deep breath for courage. I had never been so nervous in my life. “For the same reasons why I went crazy when you told me you were pregnant, Emmie. I didn’t want anyone but me to touch you. You are mine, Em. It’s taken me forever to admit that to myself, but when I did I couldn’t stand the idea of Jesse or Ax or someone else touching you.” I shook my head. “The night Ax took you to the hospital? He called me ten times before I listened to the messages. I had watched you let him kiss you. Fuck, I couldn’t see straight I was so jealous. Then I sang that song and expected you to jump into my arms when I walked off stage …”

I broke off with a grimace at the memory of how that had felt. “But you were gone. I went crazy with rage. Stormed off and refused to answer my phone when Axton called the first time. So when I finally listened to one of the messages he left I …” Emmie lying in a hospital bed with an IV and heart monitor attached to her made me swallow hard. “You were so sick and there I was acting like some petulant child because you weren’t falling into my arms like I had been dreaming about.”

“I didn’t stick around long to listen to your song, Nik. I started throwing up when I realized you were…in love.” I had to strain to hear the last word.

“Sweet, sweet Emmie,” I murmured, leaning forward to brush my lips over her neck. “Still so blind. How can I open your eyes, baby girl? Do you need me to spell it out? Have I been such a fool in not realizing that you couldn’t see just what you have done to me?” I licked the spot under her ear I had recently learned was a weakness of hers. “Yes, I am in love. There is this Ember in my heart that has hold of me and won’t let go.” I sang a line of the song I had written for her.

A tear spilled from her eye and landed on her cheek. She didn’t try to wipe it away as it rolled down her flawless cheek and landed on my jeans. I could see that I had finally gotten through to her. That she was really opening her eyes and seeing me for possibly the first time.

“I love you, Em. With everything inside of me, I love you. You are my favorite dream come to life and I never want to let you go.” I brushed my lips over her eyes, wiping her tears away with my tongue. “I need you to breathe. You keep the world afloat when everything else is going insane.”

Her entire body shook. “I have loved you for so long, Nik,” she confessed softly. “You were my dark prince in rusty armor when I was a kid. Now you have become my reason for getting up each morning. The last few years, watching you with a revolving door of one night stands, has slowly killed me. I instantly hate any female that looks at you.”

I was surprised that I was still crouched down in front of her. Her confession of loving me back made me weak. I had been just as blind as I had accused her of being. How could I have not seen how much she cared?

“Oh, baby, I’m sorry. I had no idea.” I cupped her face. “They didn’t mean anything, Emmie. I swear it. They were just something that distracted me from doing what I knew I shouldn’t. When you came to live with us I wanted you then. I thought I was turning into some demented pedophile and I hated myself.” I still remember how sick I had felt after waking up from that first dream of her. She had been seventeen and I had felt like such a pervert. “Then I realized that it was just you, but that didn’t make me feel any better. So I used the other girls to take my mind—and other things—off of what I wanted most.”

I grimaced. “The dreams started a few years ago. I would wake up in the middle of the night with my dick so hard, and it would take all of my will power to keep from seeking out the warmth of your arms so I could make my dreams a reality.” As I talked to her I couldn’t help but trace the lusciousness of her bottom lip. “That’s why our night together didn’t surprise me. I just brushed it off as another dream.”

Her chin trembled. “I thought you didn’t know it was me. I hated myself for taking advantage of you like that. But I lived off the memories.” Her fingers combed through my hair, tangling in the ends. “That night was more than I could have ever hoped for …”

For one brief moment I thought that maybe I was dreaming again. She was telling me everything I had ever longed to hear. Then her fingers tugged roughly on my hair and the pain told me that this was real. I brushed a kiss over her lips, lingering for a moment to get a better taste. Knowing that she loved me back gave me the feeling that I could take on the world and win. The longer we talked, the more sure I was of what I really wanted.

It was risky asking her now. I knew I was rushing her, and that could always backfire when it came to Emmie. But I couldn’t keep from asking her.

I kissed her again. “You aren’t going to leave me, are you, Em?”

“No, never.”

“And you love me?” I brushed my nose against hers.

“Yes,” came her breathy reply.