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The Rainbow

Page 419

Feeling too much upset to go home, she rode a little farther

into the town, and got down from the tram at a small tea-shop.

There, in the dark little place behind the shop, she drank her

tea and ate bread-and-butter. She did not taste anything. The

taking of tea was just a mechanical action, to cover over her

existence. There she sat in the dark, obscure little place,

without knowing. Only unconsciously she nursed the back of her

hand, which was bruised.

When finally she took her way home, it was sunset red across

the west. She did not know why she was going home. There was

nothing for her there. She had, true, only to pretend to be

normal. There was nobody she could speak to, nowhere to go for

escape. But she must keep on, under this red sunset, alone,

knowing the horror in humanity, that would destroy her, and with

which she was at war. Yet it had to be so.

In the morning again she must go to school. She got up and

went without murmuring even to herself. She was in the hands of

some bigger, stronger, coarser will.

School was fairly quiet. But she could feel the class

watching her, ready to spring on her. Her instinct was aware of

the class instinct to catch her if she were weak. But she kept

cold and was guarded.

Williams was absent from school. In the middle of the morning

there was a knock at the door: someone wanted the headmaster.

Mr. Harby went out, heavily, angrily, nervously. He was afraid

of irate parents. After a moment in the passage, he came again

into school.

"Sturgess," he called to one of his larger boys. "Stand in

front of the class and write down the name of anyone who speaks.

Will you come this way, Miss Brangwen."

He seemed vindictively to seize upon her.

Ursula followed him, and found in the lobby a thin woman with

a whitish skin, not ill-dressed in a grey costume and a purple

hat.

"I called about Vernon," said the woman, speaking in a

refined accent. There was about the woman altogether an

appearance of refinement and of cleanliness, curiously

contradicted by her half beggar's deportment, and a sense of her

being unpleasant to touch, like something going bad inside. She

was neither a lady nor an ordinary working man's wife, but a

creature separate from society. By her dress she was not

poor.

Ursula knew at once that she was Williams' mother, and that

he was Vernon. She remembered that he was always clean, and

well-dressed, in a sailor suit. And he had this same peculiar,

half transparent unwholesomeness, rather like a corpse.

"I wasn't able to send him to school to-day," continued the

woman, with a false grace of manner. "He came home last night

so ill--he was violently sick--I thought I

should have to send for the doctor.--You know he has a weak

heart."

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