The Mysteries of Udolpho

In another part of his letter he wrote thus. 'You see my letter is dated

on many different days, and, if you look back to the first, you will

perceive, that I began to write soon after your departure from France.

To write was, indeed, the only employment that withdrew me from my own

melancholy, and rendered your absence supportable, or rather, it seemed

to destroy absence; for, when I was conversing with you on paper,

and telling you every sentiment and affection of my heart, you almost

appeared to be present. This employment has been from time to time my

chief consolation, and I have deferred sending off my packet, merely

for the comfort of prolonging it, though it was certain, that what I

had written, was written to no purpose till you received it. Whenever my

mind has been more than usually depressed I have come to pour forth its

sorrows to you, and have always found consolation; and, when any little

occurrence has interested my heart, and given a gleam of joy to my

spirits, I have hastened to communicate it to you, and have received

reflected satisfaction.

Thus, my letter is a kind of picture of my life

and of my thoughts for the last month, and thus, though it has been

deeply interesting to me, while I wrote it, and I dare hope will, for

the same reason, be not indifferent to you, yet to other readers it

would seem to abound only in frivolities. Thus it is always, when we

attempt to describe the finer movements of the heart, for they are too

fine to be discerned, they can only be experienced, and are therefore

passed over by the indifferent observer, while the interested one feels,

that all description is imperfect and unnecessary, except as it may

prove the sincerity of the writer, and sooth his own sufferings. You

will pardon all this egotism--for I am a lover.'

'I have just heard of a circumstance, which entirely destroys all my

fairy paradise of ideal delight, and which will reconcile me to the

necessity of returning to my regiment, for I must no longer wander

beneath the beloved shades, where I have been accustomed to meet you

in thought.--La Vallee is let! I have reason to believe this is without

your knowledge, from what Theresa told me this morning, and, therefore,

I mention the circumstance. She shed tears, while she related, that she

was going to leave the service of her dear mistress, and the chateau

where she had lived so many happy years; and all this, added she,

without even a letter from Mademoiselle to soften the news; but it is

all Mons. Quesnel's doings, and I dare say she does not even know what

is going forward.' 'Theresa added, That she had received a letter from him, informing

her the chateau was let, and that, as her services would no longer be

required, she must quit the place, on that day week, when the new tenant

would arrive.'