The Moonstone

He has not heard yet from Mr. Bruff. I found him eager to know if I had

received any answer from Miss Verinder.

I told him exactly what I was permitted to tell, and no more. It was

quite needless to invent excuses for not showing him the letter. He told

me bitterly enough, poor fellow, that he understood the delicacy which

disinclined me to produce it. "She consents, of course, as a matter of

common courtesy and common justice," he said. "But she keeps her own

opinion of me, and waits to see the result." I was sorely tempted to

hint that he was now wronging her as she had wronged him. On reflection,

I shrank from forestalling her in the double luxury of surprising and

forgiving him.

My visit was a very short one. After the experience of the other night,

I have been compelled once more to give up my dose of opium. As a

necessary result, the agony of the disease that is in me has got the

upper hand again. I felt the attack coming on, and left abruptly, so as

not to alarm or distress him. It only lasted a quarter of an hour this

time, and it left me strength enough to go on with my work.

Five o'clock.--I have written my reply to Miss Verinder.

The arrangement I have proposed reconciles the interests on both sides,

if she will only consent to it. After first stating the objections

that there are to a meeting between Mr. Blake and herself, before

the experiment is tried, I have suggested that she should so time her

journey as to arrive at the house privately, on the evening when we make

the attempt. Travelling by the afternoon train from London, she would

delay her arrival until nine o'clock. At that hour, I have undertaken to

see Mr. Blake safely into his bedchamber; and so to leave Miss Verinder

free to occupy her own rooms until the time comes for administering

the laudanum. When that has been done, there can be no objection to her

watching the result, with the rest of us. On the next morning, she shall

show Mr. Blake (if she likes) her correspondence with me, and shall

satisfy him in that way that he was acquitted in her estimation, before

the question of his innocence was put to the proof.

In that sense, I have written to her. This is all that I can do to-day.

To-morrow I must see Mr. Betteredge, and give the necessary directions

for reopening the house.

June 18th.--Late again, in calling on Mr. Franklin Blake. More of that

horrible pain in the early morning; followed, this time, by complete

prostration, for some hours. I foresee, in spite of the penalties which

it exacts from me, that I shall have to return to the opium for the

hundredth time. If I had only myself to think of, I should prefer the

sharp pains to the frightful dreams. But the physical suffering exhausts

me. If I let myself sink, it may end in my becoming useless to Mr. Blake

at the time when he wants me most.