The Medium

Finally, when neither of us spoke to fill the growing silence, his gaze met mine. Shock rippled through me. There was a shine in his eyes that wasn't usually there and a tightness to his lips as if he was pressing them together on purpose.

"Jacob? Say something." Tell me you won't go, tell me you'll stay forever, tell me you love me.

He took my hand in his and drew little circles over my knuckles with his thumb. "I want you to know what happened back there, in Belgrave Square."

Finally. Finally! But now that the time had come I was afraid. Absolutely terrified. A lump clogged my throat and my mouth went dry. I wanted to know the reason-of course I did!-but a feeling of dread swamped me. I was drowning in it. Against every instinct screaming for him not to speak, I nodded at him to go on.

"I warned you," he said. His voice sounded thick and hoarse. "I tried telling you I was dangerous, that you shouldn't develop feelings for me."

"I can't help it! Jacob, I love you-."

He smothered the rest of my words with a light, airy kiss. "Let me finish," he chided gently. "I'm dangerous to you because...because I love you too."

My heart swelled. I think I saw stars. Those beautiful words were exactly what I'd wanted to hear. Nothing, nothing could ever be wrong again now that he'd admitted it.

Then the bubble burst. The stars vanished and my heart collapsed in on itself. "What do you mean? Why does that make you dangerous?" But I knew. I knew.

"Do you remember that day Maree Finch tried to stab you at Culvert's house?" I nodded. "I knew before then that I loved you," he went on. "From the moment we met in fact. It was like...your breath filled my lungs, your heart beat for mine. But it wasn't until the incident at Culvert's that I realized how much I loved you." He watched me with a kind of ferocity, as if he could persuade me of his feelings by a single look. "When Maree ran at you with the knife it was like I was dying all over again. I hated watching you in pain, the fear in your eyes...it was horrible. I was consumed by you in those few terrible minutes...by everything about you. I knew then that I wanted to be with you. Forever." His thumb circled faster. "Do you understand what I'm saying?"

"Forever," I repeated dully. It was difficult to think straight. Impossible to breathe. "In the Otherworld."

He nodded and tilted his face to the ceiling rose. He blinked rapidly then looked back at me. "When I thought you could have died...I was...glad." He whispered, as if he was afraid to say it out loud because it would somehow make it more real. "I wanted Maree to stab you."