The Kama Sutra

When a girl cannot meet her lover frequently in private, she should send

the daughter of her nurse to him, it being understood that she has

confidence in her, and had previously gained her over to her interests.

On seeing the man, the daughter of the nurse should, in the course of

conversation, describe to him the noble birth, the good disposition, the

beauty, talent, skill, knowledge of human nature and affection of the

girl in such a way as not to let him suppose that she has been sent by

the girl, and should thus create affection for the girl in the heart of

the man. To the girl also she should speak about the excellent qualities

of the man, especially of those qualities which she knows are pleasing

to the girl. She should, moreover, speak with disparagement of the other

lovers of the girl, and talk about the avarice and indiscretion of their

parents, and the fickleness of their relations. She should also quote

samples of many girls of ancient times, such as Sakuntala and others,

who, having united themselves with lovers of their own caste and their

own choice, were ever happy afterwards in their society. And she should

also tell of other girls who married into great families, and being

troubled by rival wives, became wretched and miserable, and were finally

abandoned. She should further speak of the good fortune, the continual

happiness, the chastity, obedience, and affection of the man, and if the

girl gets amorous about him, she should endeavour to allay her shame[51]

and her fear as well as her suspicions about any disaster that might

result from the marriage. In a word, she should act the whole part of a

female messenger by telling the girl all about the man's affection for

her, the places he frequented, and the endeavours he made to meet her,

and by frequently repeating, "It will be all right if the man will take

you away forcibly and unexpectedly."

The Forms of Marriage.

When the girl is gained over, and acts openly with the man as his wife,

he should cause fire to be brought from the house of a Brahman, and

having spread the Kusha grass upon the ground, and offered an oblation

to the fire he should marry her according to the precepts of the

religious law. After this he should inform his parents of the fact,

because it is the opinion of ancient authors that a marriage solemnly

contracted in the presence of fire cannot afterwards be set aside.

After the consummation of the marriage, the relations of the man should

gradually be made acquainted with the affair, and the relations of the

girl should also be apprised of it in such a way that they may consent

to the marriage, and overlook the manner in which it was brought about,

and when this is done they should afterwards be reconciled by

affectionate presents and favourable conduct. In this manner the man

should marry the girl according to the Gandharva form of marriage.