The Iron Butterfly (Iron Butterfly #1)

I told him my name and what happened in the alley but left out Kael’s name. I’m not sure why I was protecting moody Kael, but I figured if he didn’t want to stay around and meet the soldiers he must have a good reason. It was the least I could do by keeping his name to myself, considering he saved my life now, twice.

Garit chatted amicably the whole way back, making comments about Avina and her very evident crush on the young guard Niklas. The shock of the whole attack wore off and I began to feel the pain in my broken leg and torn muscles, and the headache persisted the whole way back to the keep until it stopped when I fell asleep against Garit’s chest to the motion of the horse’s gait and sound of his lighthearted voice.

Chapter 8

Voices arguing, while trying to maintain a whisper, woke me from a deep sleep and I could see it was Healer Prentiss from the night before, wearing her white smock over her simple pale skirt and top. She was the shortest woman I had ever met, with kind hazel features and chestnut hair pulled into a twist at the nape of her neck. Laugh wrinkles around her eyes and mouth betrayed her age as being older than you would first think. I barely remembered the actual trip to the healing wing because I was so tired from exhaustion and weary from all of the excitement.

But I remember seeing Healer Prentiss in all her healer’s glory the night before, as she directed my arrival to a small bed and gathered the students that were on duty in the healing wing. Even though I was a servant, I learned the schedule and workings of the training grounds and council rooms. The best way to learn about healing was for the students to practice it as much as they could and so they were put on an on-call rotation to work in the healing wing. So whenever a non-emergency occurred, the students were notified and present to help heal and learn. I guess a broken leg constituted a non-emergency.

Ever the efficient teacher, Healer Prentiss explained to the students as she drew energy and touched my leg around gash marks. “First you must use your gift to look for infection and foreign objects and pull those from the wound. And now if you look closely, you could see the patient’s body already trying to heal itself.”

I quickly learned that once I was in the healing ward, I no longer was Thalia but a nameless patient. It was easier for the students to concentrate and learn if they weren’t distracted by the emotional stories and names tied to the subject they are healing.

“So, by directing power into her body we then encourage the muscles to re-knit and speed along the healing process. But before we do that we have to set the bone, which is always a painful process.” Healer Prentiss spoke in a matter of fact tone of voice. “All right, we have enough student healers here that we can conserve energy and split some of you into siphoning off her pain while others work on the healing process.”

A nervous first year student spoke up, “But Healer Prentiss, wouldn’t we normally be able to do this by ourselves? I mean what if someone was hurt and there wasn’t anyone else to rely on?”

Healer Prentiss looked displeased and harried by the question. Obviously she wanted to hurry and start the healing process, her healing instincts making her short tempered with the interruptions. “If the injury wasn’t really bad one person can do it, but healing is really hard work and takes more energy than anything else. A Master Adept would have no problem healing numerous people but not a student. The pain could be too much to bear for one student alone; by spreading it out, it lessens it. Also, more healers working together can prevent a Denai from burning out.” Her pointed glare at the nervous girl made her step back behind the other students. “Now if there are no more interruptions, we will begin.” No one spoke or even breathed.

Prentiss put a long cylinder of cork in my mouth between my teeth, and I stared at the wooden ceiling of the room as two grim-faced students went to each side of me and grasped my hands. I could see them mentally preparing themselves to siphon the pain from me and into them. Knowing that this was going to be a painful process no matter how much power they used, I felt sick to my stomach.

I spit out the cork shook my head and yelled “NO! Back away. I don’t want you to go through this, I can take the pain.” I closed my eyes to stop the tears pressing out of my eyes. “Prentiss, please don’t make them. They shouldn’t have to go through this.” I was overreacting; I knew that if both students pulled the pain away it wouldn’t be as bad split between the two. But after being the recipient of numerous tortures all against my will, I didn’t ever want to inflict pain on anyone again. Not if I had a choice.

Healer Prentiss gave me a long, calculating look as if she was trying to read my thoughts. She must have understood my desire, because she signaled to the students, and both of my hands were dropped onto the bed. I laid back down and stared again at the wooden ceiling. Taking a deep breath and closing my eyes, I mentally prepared myself for what was coming. Again I felt someone pick up my hand, and even though I tried to pull it away they wouldn’t release it.

“Please, let go!” I pleaded. Wearily I turned my head toward the student and opened my eyes and met the determined gaze of Joss.

“Hey, little fish,” he said. “You may not want me to take the pain away and I’m not sure why, but I can guess.” He leaned forward and whispered, “But there’s no way in Heaven I’m letting go of you. So don’t even ask.” He brought up his other hand and enclosed my cold shaking hand between his large warm ones. How did I miss his handsome face from among the students? I must be in more pain than I originally thought. Of course, Joss didn’t really need these classes, I was first hand testament to how strong of a healer he already was, but rules were rules.

“We’re ready, Healer Prentiss,” he nodded to Prentiss, who aligned herself by my leg. I stared up at the now familiar ceiling and almost fainted from the first initial pain of the bone being set.

Crying out in fright, I immediately went into shock which sent my mind right back into the memories of the torture chamber. I began to relive all of it while I was wide awake and the pain wouldn’t stop. All of the students gathered around me, their healing robes blurring to take on the form of the Septori.

A second adjustment on my leg, and the headache that had been plaguing me for weeks pounded unmercifully against my skull. Agony ripped through my head and body and the precarious dam that I had built in my mind to hold back the floodgate of memories and pain … broke.

I started screaming. I grasped Joss’ hand hard as I tried to escape the terror and agony. I heard Joss call my name, but my world was consumed by pain as memory after vivid memory assaulted me. I tried to reach for Joss to help me, but I couldn’t feel his hand in mine anymore. I searched and pulled until I connected with him again. But it wouldn’t stop the memories of prison, the beatings, Raven, the cold hard table, the machine that was always thirsty for my blood, all of them.

I felt again the agony as the machine came to life with the energy passing into it and my body spontaneously started to convulse on the healer’s table as if I was still in the machine.

For a split second, I saw Joss white-faced and in shock in the torture room with me, and then it was gone. I was falling into a black abyss of nothingness, and I wanted to let it consume me. To close my eyes forever and let the darkness take me because only then would the pain end.