The Heart

Although I was heir to a large estate, I had not much gold and

silver nor many treasures in my possession. I never knew rightly

why; but my mother, having control until I was come of age, and

having, indeed, the whole property at her disposal, doubtless

considered it best that the wealth should accumulate rather than be

frittered away in trifles which could be of but passing moment to a

boy. But I was well equipped enough as regarded comforts, and, as I

said before, my education was well looked after. Through never

having much regard for such small matters, it used to gall me not at

all that my half-brother, who was younger and such a fair lad that

he became them like a girl, should go clad in silks and velvets and

laces, with a ready jingle of money in his purse and plenty of

sweets and trinkets to command. But after I saw that little maid it

went somewhat hard with me that I had no bravery of apparel to catch

her sweet eyes and cause her to laugh and point with delight, as I

have often seen her do, at the glitter of a loop of gold or a

jewelled button or a flash of crimson sheen from a fold of velvet,

for she always dearly loved such pretty things. And it went hard

with me that I had not the wherewithal to sometimes purchase a

comfit to thrust into her little hand, reaching of her nature for

sweets like the hands of all young things. Often I saw my brother

John win her notice in such wise, for he, though he cared in general

but little for small folk, was ravished by her, as indeed was every

one who saw her.

And once my brother John gave her a ribbon stiff

with threads of gold which pleased her mightily at the time, though,

the day after, I saw it gleaming from the wet of the park grass,

whither she had flung it, for the caprices of a baby are beyond

those of the wind, being indeed human inclination without rudder nor

compass. Then I did an ungallant and ungenerous thing, for which I

have always held myself in light esteem: I gathered up that ribbon

and carried it to my brother and told him where I had found it, but

all to small purpose as regarded my jealousy, as he scarce gave it a

thought, and the next day gave the little maid a silver button,

which she treasured longer. As for me, I having no ribbons nor

sweets nor silver buttons to give her, was fain to search the woods

and fields and the seashore for those small treasures, without money

and without price, with which nature is lavish toward the poor who

love her and attend her carefully, such as the first flowers of the

season, nuts and seed-vessels, and sometimes an empty bird's nest

and a stray bright feather and bits of bright stones, which might,

for her baby fancy, be as good as my brother's gold and silver, and

shells, and red and russet moss. All these I offered her from time

to time as reverently and shyly as any true lover; though she was

but a baby tugging with a sweet angle of opposition at her black

nurse's hand and I near a man grown, and though I had naught to hope

for save a fleeting grasp of her rosy fingers and a wavering smile

from her sweet lips and eyes, ere she flung the offering away with

innocent inconstancy.