The Gift (Crown's Spies #3)
Page 15"But Nora—"
"I'm telling you he's already beginning to care for you, Sara."
"You're being fanciful."
The conversation came to an abrupt end when Matthew came into the room. He gave Nora a wide smile and a slow wink. "It's time for you to have a rest," he told her.
Sara kissed her aunt goodnight and went back to her cabin. The bath was ready for her. She took her time soaking until the water turned cold, then dressed in her white nightgown and matching wrapper. She was sitting on the side of the bed, brushing the tangles out of her hair, when Nathan came into the room.
Two younger men followed him inside. The seamen nodded at her, then lifted the tub between them and carried it out. Sara clutched the top of her robe against her neck in an attempt at modesty until the men left, then resumed brushing her hair.
Nathan shut the door and bolted it.
He didn't say a word to her. He didn't have to. The look on his face told her all she needed to know. The man was determined, all right. There wouldn't be any more favors doled out, no more hasty reprieves. She started trembling.
Nathan had had a bath, too, she realized. His hair was still wet. It was slicked back behind his neck. His unforgiving profile wasn't softened at all. He wasn't wearing a shirt either. Sara stared at him while she continued to brush her hair, wondering what in God's name she could talk about to ease the tension inside her.
Nathan stared back at her while he pulled the chair out from the table, sat down, and slowly removed his boots. The socks came off next. Then he stood up, facing her still, and began to unbutton his pants.
She closed her eyes.
He smiled over her shyness. It didn't deter him, though. He took off the rest of his clothes and tossed them on the chair.
"Sara?"
She didn't open her eyes when she answered. "Yes, Nathan?"
"Take your clothes off."
His voice was soft, tender, he thought. He was trying to ease a little of her fear away. There wasn't any doubt in his mind that she was afraid, for she was ripping that brush through her hair with such vigor that she had to be giving herself one hell of a headache. She'd knock herself senseless if she didn't calm down.
She wasn't soothed by his voice, however. "We've already had this discussion, Nathan," she announced as she slammed the brush against her temple again. "I told you I was keeping my clothes on."
She'd tried to make her voice firm, determined. The effort didn't work. Even she could hear the tremor in her hoarse whisper. "All right?" she asked.
"All right," he agreed with a sigh.
His easy agreement calmed her. She quit brushing her hair. She still wouldn't look at him when she stood up and slowly crossed the room. She made a wide path around him, her gaze directed on the floor.
After she put her brush away she took a deep breath and turned around. She was determined to pretend his nakedness didn't bother her. She was his wife, she reminded herself, and she shouldn't be carrying on like a silly, innocent chit.
The problem, of course, was that she was an innocent. She'd never seen a na**d man before. Lord, she was nervous. I'm a woman now, not a child, she told herself. There's absolutely no reason to be embarrassed.
The man was all muscle and steel. Bronzed, too. It suddenly dawned on her that his backside was almost as dark as the rest of his body. How did he get that private area bronzed?
She wasn't about to ask him that question, though Perhaps after they'd been married some twenty or thirty years she'd feel comfortable enough to broach that topic.
Perhaps, too, one day in the future she might be able to look back on the night of agony and have herself a good laugh.
She certainly wasn't laughing at the moment. She watched Nathan light the candle. The soft glow made his skin glisten. She was grateful that he had his back turned to her when he saw to that task. Was he deliberately giving her time to get accustomed to his size?
If that was his aim, it wasn't working, she thought to herself. The man could masquerade as a tree. He was certainly big enough.
Sara let out a little sigh when she realized how childishly she was behaving. Her only saving grace was the fact that he wasn't going to know how terrified she was. She averted her face so he couldn't see her blush, then said, "Are we going to bed now?"
She was pleased with herself. She'd sounded very nonchalant when she'd asked that question.
He thought she sounded like she'd just swallowed a spike. He knew he was going to have to find a way to deal with her fear before he bedded her.
The question, of course, was how. He let out a sigh and turned to take her into his arms. She ran to the bed. He grabbed hold of her shoulders and slowly forced her around to face him.
His bride certainly wasn't having any difficulty meeting his gaze, he thought. No, he didn't have to nudge her chin up to get her full attention. Nathan held his smile. He doubted Sara would have lowered her gaze even if he told her there was a snake slithering across her feet.
"Does my nakedness upset you?" He asked the obvious, thinking to attack the problem head on.
"Why would you think that?"
His hands moved to the sides of her neck. He could feel her pulse pounding under his thumb. He kept his touch gentle. "You like it when I kiss you, don't you, Sara?"
She seemed surprised by that question. "Do you?" he asked again when she continued to stare at him.
"Yes," she admitted. "I do like you to kiss me."
He looked arrogantly pleased.
"But I don't believe I'm going to like the other thing at all," she said, thinking to give him fair warning once again.
He didn't look offended by her honesty. He leaned down and kissed her on her forehead, then kissed the bridge of her nose. His mouth brushed against hers for a fleeting second. "I'm going to like it," he told her in a low growl.
She didn't have a ready comeback for that comment, so she was silent. She kept her mouth closed, too, when his mouth settled on hers again.
He felt as if he were kissing a statue. He wasn't deterred, though. He sighed against her mouth and slowly tightened his hold around her neck. When her skin began to sting she opened her mouth to order him to let go of her. That demand got all tangled up in her confused mind, however, when his tongue moved inside to touch hers.
Her response was nice. The ice inside her began to melt. Nathan softened his hold as soon as she opened her mouth for him. His thumbs made lazy circles along the sides of her neck. He was deliberate in his bid to overwhelm her and thought he was succeeding when she moved closer to him and put her arms around his neck.
The kiss seemed endless. Because she was innocent of such new feelings it didn't take him long at all to rid her of her shyness, her resistance. He tried to contain his own hunger, but when her fingers threaded through his damp hair and he felt the sensual, feathery-light caress the flame inside him began to burn.
He wasn't very deliberate. He'd tamed her and was suddenly impatient. Sara let out a ragged moan when he pulled her arms away from his neck. His mouth continued to plunder hers, but it wasn't enough. She wanted to get close to his heat again, to wrap herself around his warmth. He wasn't cooperating. He kept blocking her arms and tugging on her at the same time. She didn't understand what he wanted from her, couldn't seem to sort it all out in her mind, for she was too occupied kissing him, and simply too overwhelmed by the strange, wonderful feelings rioting inside her.
"Now you can put your arms around me again," he whispered when he ended the kiss. His smile was filled with tenderness. Lord, she was transparent. Her bemused expression hid nothing from him. Passion and confusion were there for him to see. Nathan had never known a woman who could respond with such openness, such abandon.
It shook him a little when he realized how very much he wanted to please her. The innocent trust she willingly gave to him made him feel as though he could conquer the world.
He was going to have to conquer her first. "Don't be afraid," he whispered in a deep, husky voice. He stroked the side of her face with the backs of his fingers, smiling anew over the way she instinctively tilted her face to the side to gain more of his caress.
"I'm trying not to be afraid," she whispered back. "It does ease my worry because I know you care about my feelings."
"And when did you come to that conclusion?"
He wondered over the sudden sparkle that came into her eyes. She seemed to be amused about something.
"When you agreed that I could keep my clothes on."
Nathan's sigh was long. He decided it wasn't the time to mention the fact that he'd just removed her robe and nightgown. He guessed she'd find out soon enough.
"I'm not a very patient man, Sara, when I want something as badly as I want you."
He put his arms around her waist and pulled her up against him. Skin touched skin. Her eyes widened in reaction, but before she could get her wits about her to decide if she liked the feeling or not, his mouth settled on top of hers again.
The man certainly knew how to kiss. She didn't make him force her mouth open—instead she quickly became the aggressor. Her tongue rubbed against his first. He grunted in reaction. She thought that sound might mean he liked her show of boldness, and she became all the more wanton.
The kiss was wild. He wanted to rekindle the passion between them. When she began to make those erotic little whimpers in the back of her throat he knew he'd accomplished his goal. She was already hot for him again. And Lord, the sound made him ache to be inside her.
Her hands gripped his shoulders. Her soft br**sts rubbed against his chest. He lifted her up and pulled her tight against his arousal, then drowned out the gasp that intimacy caused with another long, hot kiss.
Sara couldn't seem to catch hold of a thought. The sensations his kiss caused were so strange, so wonderful, so consuming. She couldn't even hold onto her shyness. She knew he'd taken her clothes off, had deliberately baited him when she'd reminded him that he'd promised she could leave them on. It was trickery on her part, but her reason had made perfectly good sense to her at the time. She wanted him to slow down, to give her time to get used to his body, his heat, his touch.
She didn't have any idea how they'd gotten over to the bed, but Nathan was suddenly pulling the covers back. His mouth left hers when he lifted her up and gently placed her on her back in the center of the sheets. He didn't give her time to try to shield her nudity from him but followed her down on the bed, covering her from head to foot with his warm body.
It was too much, too soon. Sara began to feel trapped and totally at his mercy. She didn't want to be afraid, and she didn't want to disappoint him.
The haze of passion cleared in an instant. She didn't want to do this anymore.
But she didn't want him to quit kissing her either. And God, she was frightened.
He'd probably take exception if she started screaming. For that reason she kept her mouth closed in an effort to contain the shout locked in her throat.
He was mistaken. As soon as he tried to nudge her thighs apart again she went completely rigid on him. He gritted his teeth in frustration.
The feel of her soft skin made him wild with his own need to be inside her. But she wasn't ready for his invasion yet. His forehead was beaded with perspiration from the effort of holding back. Each time his hands moved to touch her br**sts she tensed up on him. His frustration soon made his hunger acutely painful.
It would only be a matter of minutes before he completely lost his control. God, he didn't want to hurt her. He was feeling desperate to thrust inside her heat, but she was going to be hot for him, wet, ready, when he finally made her his.
She sure as hell wasn't ready now. She was pinching his shoulder and trying to get him to move away from her.
He decided to let her have her way for just a minute or two. Nathan rolled to his side, thinking to put a little distance between them before he completely lost his sanity, forced her thighs apart, and drove into her.
He thought he only needed a couple of minutes to regain his discipline. When his heart quit slamming inside his chest, when it didn't hurt so much to breathe, when the god-awful ache in his loins abated a little, he would try again.
Wooing a virgin was damned hard work, he thought, and since he had absolutely no expertise with either wooing or with bedding virgins, he felt completely inadequate.
Perhaps one day in the future, when he was an old, old man, he might be able to look back on this night of sweet torture and have himself a good laugh. At the moment he wasn't in the mood to laugh, though. He wanted to grab hold of his bride and shake some sense into her while he demanded at the same time that she not be afraid of him.
The contradiction in those conflicting thoughts made him shake his head.
Sara was trembling from head to foot. As soon as he moved away from her the helpless feeling of being trapped vanished. She wanted him to kiss her again.
The look on Nathan's face worried her, though. He looked like he wanted to shout at her. She took a deep breath, then rolled to her side to face him. "Nathan?"
He didn't answer her. His eyes were closed, his jaw clenched tight.
"You told me you were a patient man."
"Sometimes."
"You're upset with me, aren't you?"
"No."
She didn't believe him. "Don't frown," she whispered. She reached out to touch his chest.
He reacted as though she'd just burned him. He visibly flinched. "Don't you want to do this any longer?" she asked. "Have you quit wanting me?"