The Game Plan (Neighbor from Hell 5)
Page 6“And try not to kill your neighbor,” Greg said, giving her the customary pat on the head before he headed out.
“I’m not promising anything!” she called after him, hoping that wouldn’t be considered admissible in court later.
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“Congratulations! You’re getting a raise.”
“Uh huh,” Danny said, using his tee shirt to wipe the sweat off his face as he waited for his Uncle to skip the bullshit and get to the reason why he was about to get screwed over.
“And a promotion,” Uncle Jared said with that forced smile that he knew so well. It was the same smile that Uncle Jared had used when he’d informed him that the stage The Hunter’s Nest, the all male strip club in the next town over, had collapsed and he needed Danny to go there and rebuild it.
What his Uncle had failed to mention was that the club would be open for auditions while he was supposed to be working. If Danny had known that, he probably would have turned down the Yankees tickets that his Uncle had offered to entice Danny to take the job. He definitely would have turned down the job if he had known that half the stripper candidates would try to use him and his tools as props as they did their best to outstrip the competition. It had been one of the most disturbing jobs that he’d ever done and he’d sworn then and there that he would never allow his Uncle to bullshit him into anything else.
“Not interested,” he said, in no mood to have a guy named “Blade” invite him home for a more private audition tonight or any other night for that matter.
“You didn’t even let me tell you-”
“It’s really not that bad,” his uncle called after him.
“Then you should have no problem finding someone else to do it,” he said, absently noting the large stack of files covering what was supposed to be the secretary’s desk and wondering when his uncle was going to get off his ass and hire somebody new. His Aunt Megan, Haley and Zoe usually put in a couple of hours each week to catch his uncle up on his paperwork, but clearly that wasn’t enough.
“This job is perfect for you!” his uncle said as he hurried to catch up with him.
“Not interested,” Danny said, deciding that since his uncle had dragged him away from finishing dry walling the first floor for this bullshit that he was treating himself to another midmorning snack.
“If you don’t take the job then I’m afraid that I’m going to have to fire you,” Uncle Jared said, stepping into line beside him.
“Uh huh, that’s nice,” he said, absently noting the frightened expression on the cashier’s face as she realized that she had two Bradfords in her line an hour before she had to set up for lunch.
As he grabbed a tray and started loading it up, he noted the exact moment when she considered lying her ass off and telling them that she was closed until lunch. Not that he could blame her. If they cleaned her out this close to lunch she’d have to deal with more than a hundred pissed off men, forty of them Bradfords. It wasn’t a fate that he’d wish on anyone. Well, maybe on his neighbor, he mused with a small chuckle.
She was just so damn much fun to torment. It was probably pathetic, but he looked forward to getting her flustered every day. He liked it when she looked close to going for his throat. He wasn’t exactly sure why, but tormenting Tinkerbelle was probably the most fun he’d had in years.
“Sorry, I have plans,” he lied, hoping that his Uncle wouldn’t remember which nephew he was talking to.
“Bullshit,” Uncle Jared said, stepping in front of him to grab the peanut butter chocolate chip muffin that he’d been eying. “The only thing you have planned this year is the family getaway and that isn’t until October. You have the summer wide open.”
“How about this?” Danny asked, swiftly snatching the muffin off his uncle’s tray. “I just don’t want to do whatever fucked up job you have that will end with me getting violated.”
His uncle gasped in outrage as he stole back the muffin. “I apologized for that!”
Danny snorted in disgust as he grabbed a blueberry muffin, knowing that he’d already pushed his luck once by touching something on his uncle’s tray and really in no mood to end up on the ground in a headlock. “Yeah, cause that made up for being pursued by a two hundred pound stripper.”
“I don’t know why you’re complaining,” Uncle Jared grumbled. “He sent you that really nice cookie basket to make up for the incident in the closet.”
“Which you ate,” Danny pointed out, grabbing two foil-wrapped meatball sandwiches and added them to his tray.
“I was hungry!” Uncle Jared said defensively as he stole one of the sandwiches off his tray.
As she quickly added up his purchases, he couldn’t help but wonder why the guy that owned the coffee trucks that serviced Bradford Construction’s sites kept sending skittish females fresh out of high school to work the trucks. It seemed kind of cruel, especially since they usually ended up quitting after two weeks once they realized that they’d developed an anxiety disorder…..or two.
“I got it,” Uncle Jared said as Danny pulled out his wallet.
“No thanks,” Danny said, quickly pulling the money out and paying for his own food.
“Why not?” Uncle Jared demanded as his gaze drifted down and locked on the stack of cookies that Danny realized he’d have to eat first.
“Because of that bullshit rule of yours,” Danny said, grabbing his tray and headed towards his truck, hoping like hell that his uncle would be too distracted by his overflowing tray to follow after him.
“It’s not bullshit,” Uncle Jared grumbled, following after him.
“Yeah, it really is,” Danny said, resigning himself to the fact that his uncle was joining him for his second midmorning snack.
“If I pay for the food then I should be allowed to have a bite or two,” Uncle Jared explained as he helped lower the tailgate and set his tray down.