The Fortunes and Misfortunes of the Famous Moll Flanders

This plunged me again, for when I considered the thing calmly, and took

my husband as he really was, a diligent, careful man in the main work

of laying up an estate for his children, and that he knew nothing of

the dreadful circumstances that he was in, I could not but confess to

myself that my proposal was very unreasonable, and what no wife that

had the good of her family at heart would have desired.

But my discontents were of another nature; I looked upon him no longer

as a husband, but as a near relation, the son of my own mother, and I

resolved somehow or other to be clear of him, but which way I did not

know, nor did it seem possible.

It is said by the ill-natured world, of our sex, that if we are set on

a thing, it is impossible to turn us from our resolutions; in short, I

never ceased poring upon the means to bring to pass my voyage, and came

that length with my husband at last, as to propose going without him.

This provoked him to the last degree, and he called me not only an

unkind wife, but an unnatural mother, and asked me how I could

entertain such a thought without horror, as that of leaving my two

children (for one was dead) without a mother, and to be brought up by

strangers, and never to see them more. It was true, had things been

right, I should not have done it, but now it was my real desire never

to see them, or him either, any more; and as to the charge of

unnatural, I could easily answer it to myself, while I knew that the

whole relation was unnatural in the highest degree in the world.

However, it was plain there was no bringing my husband to anything; he

would neither go with me nor let me go without him, and it was quite

out of my power to stir without his consent, as any one that knows the

constitution of the country I was in, knows very well.

We had many family quarrels about it, and they began in time to grow up

to a dangerous height; for as I was quite estranged form my husband (as

he was called) in affection, so I took no heed to my words, but

sometimes gave him language that was provoking; and, in short, strove

all I could to bring him to a parting with me, which was what above all

things in the world I desired most.

He took my carriage very ill, and indeed he might well do so, for at

last I refused to bed with him, and carrying on the breach upon all

occasions to extremity, he told me once he thought I was mad, and if I

did not alter my conduct, he would put me under cure; that is to say,

into a madhouse. I told him he should find I was far enough from mad,

and that it was not in his power, or any other villain's, to murder me.

I confess at the same time I was heartily frighted at his thoughts of

putting me into a madhouse, which would at once have destroyed all the

possibility of breaking the truth out, whatever the occasion might be;

for that then no one would have given credit to a word of it.