The Fortunes and Misfortunes of the Famous Moll Flanders

It will not be strange if I now began to think, but alas! it was but

with very little solid reflection. I had a most unbounded stock of

vanity and pride, and but a very little stock of virtue. I did indeed

case sometimes with myself what young master aimed at, but thought of

nothing but the fine words and the gold; whether he intended to marry

me, or not to marry me, seemed a matter of no great consequence to me;

nor did my thoughts so much as suggest to me the necessity of making

any capitulation for myself, till he came to make a kind of formal

proposal to me, as you shall hear presently.

Thus I gave up myself to a readiness of being ruined without the least

concern and am a fair memento to all young women whose vanity prevails

over their virtue. Nothing was ever so stupid on both sides. Had I

acted as became me, and resisted as virtue and honour require, this

gentleman had either desisted his attacks, finding no room to expect

the accomplishment of his design, or had made fair and honourable

proposals of marriage; in which case, whoever had blamed him, nobody

could have blamed me. In short, if he had known me, and how easy the

trifle he aimed at was to be had, he would have troubled his head no

farther, but have given me four or five guineas, and have lain with me

the next time he had come at me. And if I had known his thoughts, and

how hard he thought I would be to be gained, I might have made my own

terms with him; and if I had not capitulated for an immediate marriage,

I might for a maintenance till marriage, and might have had what I

would; for he was already rich to excess, besides what he had in

expectation; but I seemed wholly to have abandoned all such thoughts as

these, and was taken up only with the pride of my beauty, and of being

beloved by such a gentleman. As for the gold, I spent whole hours in

looking upon it; I told the guineas over and over a thousand times a

day. Never poor vain creature was so wrapt up with every part of the

story as I was, not considering what was before me, and how near my

ruin was at the door; indeed, I think I rather wished for that ruin

than studied to avoid it.

In the meantime, however, I was cunning enough not to give the least

room to any in the family to suspect me, or to imagine that I had the

least correspondence with this young gentleman. I scarce ever looked

towards him in public, or answered if he spoke to me when anybody was

near us; but for all that, we had every now and then a little

encounter, where we had room for a word or two, an now and then a kiss,

but no fair opportunity for the mischief intended; and especially

considering that he made more circumlocution than, if he had known by

thoughts, he had occasion for; and the work appearing difficult to him,

he really made it so.