The Fighting Shepherdess

"I did not know you then as I do now and your pose of superiority impressed me; I took you at your own valuation and overestimated you; so I was all but crushed by your condemnation. I was like a child that is whipped without knowing for what it is being punished."

She paused a moment before going on.

"Worse things came to me afterwards, but none from which I suffered more keenly--in a different way, perhaps, but not more acutely. The wounds you inflicted that night left scars that never have healed entirely.

"The turning-point in my life came when 'Mormon Joe' was murdered. He was more than a guardian and a benefactor--he had been father, mother, teacher, to me, but with no other grounds than that I benefited by his death, the stigma of murder was placed upon me. There was not evidence to hold me, so I remained a suspect, proven neither guilty nor innocent.

"The murder was little more than an agreeable break in the monotony to most of you, but it revolutionized the world for me--changed the whole scheme of my life--and," with a smile that was tinged with bitterness, "demonstrated to my entire satisfaction the extent to which character is affected by environment."

She went on thoughtfully: "I have come to believe that to know human nature--at least to know it as its worst--one must be the victim of some discreditable misfortune in a small community. Moral cowardice, ingratitude, the greed which is ready to take advantage of some one unable to make an effective protest, the gratuitous insults offered the 'under dog' because he is helpless to fight back--he discovers it all, and when all is done he has little faith in human nature left.

"This experience I had at your hands, to the last ounce. I know the 'friendship' that couldn't 'stand the gaff' of public opinion, the ingratitude that makes no count of personal sacrifice, the rapacity that takes it to the border of dishonesty to attain its end. Yet, curiously enough, after the lapse of years these things shrink into comparative insignificance beside the uncalled for insolence, unwarranted affronts, which were offered me by many of you with whom I had not even a speaking acquaintance.

"My friendlessness aroused no pity in your hearts; I was only an unresisting target at which to throw a convenient stone. For years I stood out in the open, as it were, with the storms to whip the life out of me, and not one of you offered me a cloak.

"Upon any nature this experience would have had its effect--most women, I think, it would have crushed. In me it developed traits that in other circumstances might always have lain dormant. Along with a pride that was tremendous, it aroused a desire for revenge that was savage in its ferocity. I've lived for some such hour as this--worked, and sacrificed my happiness for it.