The Fighting Chance

And after a long while Siward said: "If I should ever marry--and--and--"

"Had children, eh? Is that it? Oh, it is, eh? Well, I say, marry! I say, have children! If you're a man, you'll breed men. The chances are they may not inherit what you have. It skips some generations--some, now and then. But if they do, good God! I say it's better to be born and have a chance to fight than never to come into the arena at all! By winning out, the world learns; by failure, the world is no less wise. The important thing is birth. The main point is to breed--to produce--to reproduce! but not until you stand, sword in hand, and your armed heel on the breast of your prostrate and subconscious self!"

He jumped up and began running about the room with short little bantam steps, talking all the while.

"People say, 'Shall criminals be allowed to mate and produce young? Shall malefactors be allowed to beget? No!' And I say no, too. Never so long as they remain criminals and malefactors; so long as the evil in them is in the ascendant. Never, until they are cured. That's what I say; that's what I maintain. Crime is a disease; criminals are sick people. No marriage for them until they're cured; no children for them until they're well. If they cure themselves, let 'em marry; let 'em breed; for then, if their children inherit the inclination, they also inherit the grit to cauterise the malady."

He produced a huge handkerchief from the tails of his coat, and wiped his damp features and polished his forehead so violently that his wig took a new and jaunty angle.

"I'm talking too much," he said fretfully; "I'm talking a great deal--all the time--continually. I've other patients--several--plenty! Do you think you're the only man I know who's trying to disfigure his liver and make spots come out all over inside him? Do you?"

Siward smiled again, a worn, pallid smile.

"I can stand it while you are here, doctor, but when I'm alone it's--hard. One of those crises is close now. I've a bad night ahead--a bad outlook. Couldn't you--"

"No!"

"Just enough--"

"No, Stephen."

"--Enough to dull it--just a little? I don't ask for enough to make me sleep--not even to make me doze. You have your needle; haven't you, doctor?"

"Yes."

"Then, just this once--for the last time."

"No."

"Why? Are you afraid? You needn't be, doctor. I don't care for it except to give me a little respite, a little rest on a night like this. I'm so tired of this ache. If I could only have some sleep, and wake up in good shape, I'd stand a better chance of fighting. … Wait, doctor! Just one moment. I don't mean to be a coward, but I've had a hard fight, and--I'm tired. … If you could see your way to helping me--"