The Fangover (The Fangover 1)

That made two of them. “I have no idea.”

“Do you think we had sex?” he asked hopefully. “Did you imprint on me?”

“No!” she snapped, losing patience with Benny, the vicar stripper. “Look, I need to go find my friend and I can’t just leave you here alone. No offense, but you need to go.”

“Is my cross bothering you?” Benny fingered the cross hanging around his neck. “It’s not real. It’s a prop.”

Was there such a thing as a fake cross? A cross was a cross. The shape never changed, no matter the material. “It doesn’t bother me. What’s bothering me is that I lost my purse and my cell phone and I want them back now.”

Ignoring her denials, Benny still tucked the cross into his robes. He flung a leg over the side of the tub and heaved himself out. “Do you need me to help you? I could totally help you. What, do you need to, like, file a police report? Were you mugged? God, it’s too bad I wasn’t with you. I would have kicked the ass of anyone who messed with you, my goddess.” He slapped a fist into his opposite palm to give force to his vow.

Stella raised an eyebrow. Being called a goddess was a first. Hopefully it was a last as well. “No, I don’t need to file a police report, but thank you. I just need to find my friend. If you wouldn’t mind lending me your phone, I’ll give him a call.”

“Sure, of course, right, absolutely.” Benny lifted his robes.

Stella’s jaw dropped. He wasn’t wearing anything but a Speedo under all that fabric and he was either hauling home a brand-new pack of tube socks in his drawers or he was hung. And then some.

Most women would have been attracted to all that hard thigh muscle and tightly packed junk, but Stella wasn’t interested. The only penis she really cared to see was Wyatt’s.

The thought gave her pause. She did? She did. Wow. That merited analysis later.

“Sorry,” Benny said with a sheepish grin as he pulled his phone out of his butt crack. “I don’t usually leave work without changing but I was going straight to a party last night and it was only two blocks up Bourbon. What the hell happened to me in two blocks? Alls I can say is I hope I had a good time.”

Stella shook her head, not at all sure she wanted to know what had happened. “I have no idea.” Gingerly taking the phone, she held it with the end of her sleeve. There was no way she was putting that up next to her face.

Hitting Speaker with her knuckle, she paused. What the hell was she going to dial? She didn’t have Wyatt’s number memorized. She didn’t have anyone’s number memorized. They were all in her phone. With Wyatt.

Not helpful. “Shit.” She hung up the phone and handed it back to Benny. “I don’t know his number.”

“You could go to his place.”

“That’s true. I could do that.” Without a purse, she didn’t have any money but Wyatt’s apartment was only ten blocks or so. Getting back to her place if Wyatt wasn’t at his was a bit more of a problem. Maybe Benny could give her a ride. “Did you drive to work?” she asked him.

“Oh, hell no. Too expensive to park and finding a spot on the street is like digging for gold in a diaper.”

Stella didn’t even know what that meant but she supposed it didn’t matter. Benny put his phone back in his sack. “So how are you getting home?”

“Cab. I live in Harahan. How about you?”

“I live uptown. Can I borrow a buck for the streetcar?” She would happily show up at Bounce and tip him when all of this was said and done.

“Sure. If you bite me again.”

Really? “No. Stop asking.”

“I want to be a vampire, too.” He flexed his muscles. “I’d never have to work out again.”

“That’s shallow. And there’s no such thing as vampires.”

“My Dark Angel, I know the truth. I’ll give you a dollar and my devotion.”

Benny was getting a weird look on his face. Stella was afraid to look at the lower portion of his robe. “Let’s just go.”

She went into the living room and almost ran into Saxon. “Ack! Saxon, what are you doing?”

He held up a tube. “I was going out looking for clues, you know, about what happened last night, but I forgot my lip balm. Can’t think with cracked lips.”

She could ignore the stupidity of that because she was happy to see him. “Where’s Wyatt?”

“Don’t know. He went looking for you. Guess he didn’t find you.” Saxon laughed, then stopped short. He grimaced as his gaze shifted behind her. “You!”

“Who, me?” Benny asked, looking behind himself.

“Yes, you! You cross-wielding freak! Dude, that was seriously not cool.”

“Uh . . .” Benny looked a little scared. “Are you a vampire, too?”

“Duh.” Saxon pulled his bangs to the side and pointed to his forehead. “Yes, crosses burn vampires.”

“Holy shit.” Stella gaped at the wound on Saxon’s smooth vampire skin. “Why hasn’t that healed? How did you get that?”

“Your little boy toy laid a crucifix on me. Totally not funny, man. Now I have to grow my bangs out forever and get a forehead tattoo. Who has a forehead tattoo? Like no one.”

“He’s not my boy toy.” Stella moved away from Benny. She’d had no idea a cross could actually hurt a vampire. That was an old wives’ tale. Maybe. But now she wasn’t taking any chances. She didn’t look good with bangs.

“How do you know it was me?” Benny asked. “I’m not the only guy in the Quarter with a cross.”

“You’re the priest.”

“Benny, you should just go,” Stella said, her head starting to pound. “Saxon, can I borrow ten bucks?”

“No can do, Stella-roo. I think I must have gone to the casino last night because all I have in my pocket is a receipt for condoms.”

What? “You always buy condoms at the casino?”

“No. Why would I do that?”

“I don’t know! Let me borrow your phone.”

“It doesn’t work. I forgot to pay my bill again.” Saxon wrinkled his nose. “I’m leaving. It smells like cheese in here. See you later.”

“If you see Wyatt, tell him to bring my purse to work tomorrow night, okay?” She supposed she could live twenty-four hours without her cell phone. Worse came to worst, she would just get it at the bar when they all showed up for their usual Thursday-night gig.