The End of Me (The Single Lady Spy #1)

Coop’s look didn’t improve. His steel-blue eyes didn’t get less intense, and his jaw didn’t ease up on its clench. He looked ready to go.

I put a hand on his arm, “When we land, we will talk about it. Right now, we need to remember that none of us can win this alone.”

He nodded and placed a hand over mine, holding it to his arm. He squeezed, “Keep telling yourself that it’s all going to work out, and that he doesn’t have an ulterior motive. It’ll make banging him, that much easier.”

Servario growled.

Coop got up and left for the seats at the front.

I swallowed and looked at Servario, “He shouldn’t be able to bother you, if fucking me was the only thing you and I had going.”

He gave me a look, but I couldn’t see the answers on his face.

Then something else occurred to me. “Why did you actually make me have sex with you? I get that you lied about wanting revenge for your father’s death to appease the CI and CIA, but you didn’t have to actually do it. You could have just taken me to the hotel and made me kill the fat man, and that would have been the end of it. Or we could have run from the beginning, like we’ve been doing. You could have told me the truth.”

He smirked, “Evie, I wasn’t lying to them; I wanted you. Not to mention, I needed to keep up the façade of sex-addicted arms dealer.”

I shook my head, “You are addicted to sex. I can tell. I think you did all of this to use me, even if it was just a little. You haven’t told me anything, or utilized the time we had to help me, or my father.”

He raised his eyebrows, “No, I utilized it to fuck you, a lot. I’ve always wanted to have sex with you. Well, before you were married. With James you were so sad and lonely. I saw you before, when you were twenty-one. You were full of life and excitement, and piss and vinegar. I didn’t know that girl was gone, until I saw you about six months ago, when I discovered James had knowledge of the Burrow. I started watching you the same time this lot did.” He nodded towards Coop and continued, “When James died you seemed even worse, until you found out about the affairs. That’s when I saw it. There it was—a tiny spark of the girl who was once there. She resurfaced for a moment and I knew she wasn’t lost, only buried in your sad existence.”

The tingle in my belly grew, “You made me have sex with you for fun?”

He shrugged, “I didn’t make you do anything. You did it all on your own. I needed to keep up my reputation, and I needed it to be hard on you, or they would have suspected something. Guys like me don’t fall for or help girls like you. You wanted everything we did.”

I shook, “No. I did it because I thought I had to. You scared the hell out of me. You made me kill someone. We could have run. I thought I needed to keep my children safe. I thought I was…oh my God.” I unbuckled and walked to the back of the plane. I closed the door to the bathroom and sat on the toilet.

I did it, because I wanted to. I wanted him. I was an idiot and slowly becoming a ho.

I shook my head. There was no room left for the things still floating outside, waiting to be dealt with.

My throat got thick. I turned and threw up lunch from the plane ride to Boston.

I flushed and washed my face and fled for the safety of the dressing closet.

I sat there, dumbfounded, until Luce came into the back.

“This it?” she asked, already pulling her shirt off.

I laughed because it was better than crying.

She started pulling things on. Her tight, fit body was leaner than I thought.

She fit the four perfectly.

She made a face at the tightness and plucked at it, “See, too tight.”

I sighed, “It’s perfect. That’s how it’s supposed to fit.”

She looked at it and wrinkled her nose.

Roxy pulled back the curtain. Her expression was fierce for thirty seconds until she clapped, “Makeover!”

I laughed and Luce moaned.

Roxy pointed, whispering savagely, “You bitches want to try on my clothes and steal my shoes. Then I get to make over the lesbian.”

Luce looked wounded, “I’m not gay.”

I laughed harder and got a better seat for the show.

Roxy nodded, “Yes, you are. You just didn’t realize it yet. Here, feel these.” She grabbed Luce’s hand and placed it on her perky breast. Luce shook her head and attempted to pull her hand back, “No… no… this is wrong. Please, don’t make me.”

Roxy frowned, “I have very nice breasts. Lesbians always like them.”

Luce looked at me, pleading for help with her eyes. I shrugged, “I seriously thought you were gay.”

“Hah!” Roxy started massaging her own breasts with more vigor, of course still using Luce’s hand.

Luce scowled, “You guys suck. I had a boyfriend named Lance, up until three weeks ago. I’m not gay.”

Roxy and I burst out laughing, “Lance is such a gay name. He’s a closet gay too.”

Jack walked into the back room grinning, “I suspected this was what the girls change room looked like. One girl watching, while the other two made out.”

I threw a tissue box at him. He laughed and ducked back out. He folded his arms, staying in the entryway.

Roxy closed the curtain, “No. You can’t see her, not till we’re done.”

I folded my arms around myself and hugged, holding me together.

Roxy set to work. I felt myself withdraw from them. They chatted and laughed. I didn’t have it in me.

“You okay?”

I looked up at Luce and smiled, “No.”

Roxy shook her head, “I tried to warn you. He’s a pig.”

My smile grew, “He is. I like him, I don’t know why. I can’t make myself hate him. He’s lied from the start, hidden my children away from me, used me.” The last part of the sentence was nearly silent. I didn’t want to face that part because he was right when he said, I let him do it all. I wanted it and him.

I hadn’t even worried about my children, not properly.

Roxy vanished through the curtain and came back with a fishbowl-sized glass of wine.

I smelled it, “Thanks.”

I sipped and looked down into it, like it was a magic crystal ball and would tell me my future.

Sighing, I drank and watched as Roxy made Luce, into something I never imagined possible, delicate.

She wore an asymmetrical navy Marc Jacob’s dress that hit mid-calf and had only one arm. The line of the dress ran across her tight and perky chest. She had cleavage and even a little side boob with the bare arm and shoulder. She lifted her delicate-looking foot with the Jimmy Choo glittery platform sandal and shook her head, “They look and feel like ankle boots, but they’re sandals. They’re really comfy.”

I laughed, “That’s because they cost a grand, no doubt.”

Roxy nodded, “Yeah, that’s about the price. The lace-looking shoe is what makes it a sandal, but the lace coming all the way up to your ankle, gives you the sturdiness of boots. Jimmy Choo is a genius.” She handed her a small, blue Coach shoulder bag and I marveled.

“You look amazing.”

Luce smiled at me, “I look pretty.”

It wasn’t the response I expected from her.

I nodded, “Roxy, you have done an amazing thing here.”

She beamed and clapped again, “I love it!”

Luce took my hand as I put down the empty fish bowl. I could feel the bottle of wine I’d drank. We walked out to the front of the plane.

Servario looked back, taking a double take.

Coop’s jaw hung open and Jack dropped his iPad onto the floor.

Steve looked over and grinned. He looked hungry.

Luce’s dark eyes were smoky and sexy. She looked almost Egyptian with the makeup.

Her dark hair, that I had imagined was short, was actually very long. It hung in a side ponytail over the bare arm in tendrils and small curls. Her lips were red, Russian Red.

Her nails were navy to match the dress but tipped with stark white, also matching the trim of the dress. The hem and neckline were lined with stark white. The navy and white almost had a mariner look to it.

She was a model with her tanned, tight skin and zero body fat. The curve of her arm was still thicker, but in a lean and sexy curve.

She made Roxy look plain, which was a feat.

Servario turned back around, “We land in half an hour.”

Luce looked down, blushing. The other three men were still standing and staring.

Coop closed his mouth, “You look hot.”

Steve nodded, “Too hot.”

I went to my seat and buckled in.

Luce walked to hers and instantly Jack was sitting next to her. Steve sat on the other side.

Luce shook her head, “There are plenty of other seats, you two scram.”

Steve got up, but Jack stayed.

Steve sat in his regular chair. I looked down and tried to focus my eyes. I was drunk.

Servario didn’t talk to me. I was stewing inside.

I glanced over at him, “Are you trying to push me away still? Is that why you said those things to me?”

He looked up from his laptop, “What?”

I whispered, “Are you trying to push me away? Is that why you said that?”

He looked confused, “Which part?”

I felt disgust slither down my throat, “You just wanted sex?”

He licked his lips, “No. I had to protect myself, and I couldn’t let anything happen to you. Your father saved me once, I owed him that. I had to keep you and your children safe. Pretending to be interested in the Burrow and you, made it possible for me to protect you and not risk myself. Yes, I risked your reputation but that was the cost. There is always cost with me, Evie. I did try to warn you... As far as the sex was concerned, it was an added bonus. You wanted it too. It had been ages for you; you seemed receptive to it.”

I couldn’t fight the fury making its way to my face, “I have a hard time believing you went to that effort to fuck me. Why me? Why not just the whore from your room?”