The Diary Of Pamela D.

'But why did he kill himself?' Pamela asked, concerned because if Theo now walked in his father's footsteps . . .

Perhaps sensing the cause of the girl's apprehensive concern, Mrs. Dewhurst said, 'You needn't worry. Theo is a stronger man than his father ever was where his own self-image is concerned. What killed Henry Dewhurst was a changing world that had become intolerant of the sort of mind-set he was comfortable with. He felt like an outsider in his own country: where once he was very much in control, the government stepped in and made him relinquish that control. He was rather a taskmaster where his employees were concerned, and as long as he was able to terrorize them, things ran smoothly.

'But labour standards put a stop to that, which all but crippled his businesses. In the end, ironically no one was better off. Employees got lazy and took full advantage, forcing costs to go up, which in turn caused prices to go up, which in turn caused the employees to grumble bitterly about the cost of everything, though the cycle was partly their own fault . . . '

Only half-listening to Mrs. Dewhurst's theoretical assertions, Pamela was still left feeling as though she were foundering where her relationship with Theo was concerned. Mind-painting fell far short of the actual experience of the man, and when in his presence there was the overriding instinct to rely solely upon the immediate impression he made, regardless what she had been told. He was and remained closed to her. She wondered, too, which Theo would surface should his attention and focus be rekindled. Would it be the dangerous young rebel or a mature and caring man who would be all but a complete stranger to her? Once more she felt as though her life was on hold. And once more she found that she was prepared to wait.

That evening, when the two were spending their quiet-time together in the upstairs sitting room, Theo broke his silence for the first time.

'As I said earlier, we shouldn't be sleeping together at all, but as we'll soon be married, and as I foresee no difficulty in maintaining our respective restraint, I'm not going to discourage it.

'That said, as of tomorrow, you are no longer a maid-'

'But I like being a maid! I want to continue earning my keep,' Pamela protested. In truth, she was still concerned about how this would affect her relationships with the household staff. Would they still treat her the same way, or would this create an unbroachable gulf between them?

'As my wife,' he said in an unreadable tone, 'and helpmate, you would be far more valuable an asset to this household and to myself if you were to learn something of the family businesses. Your secretarial and organizational skills have not only cut my workload in half but have left me with more free time than I could have imagined possible. I am going to hire a young girl for you to train as your secretary, as well, so that you can turn your attention to actually doing business. Oh, and by the way, I already have a girl in mind. One whom I think you might be acquainted with.'