The Diary Of Pamela D.

Pamela found as she went upstairs to change that she was very much looking forward to meeting the household staff, and to being part of . . . the thought made her smile . . . part of her new life!

The second uniform she tried on fit very well in all the right places. But the hat, the bonnet, as Mrs. Pascoe called it, didn't want to sit right on her tight, dark curls. When she came downstairs and showed Mrs. Pascoe the difficulty she was having, the woman burst out laughing.

'For one thing, you've got it backwards,' she said, straightening it out. 'For another, you've got to put your hair up. That's going to be a bit difficult, I can see. Your hair's just a little too short- come! I've got just the thing.' She took Pamela upstairs to her own room and with the use of a liberal number of hairpins got the girl's unruly hair under control enough to fit the hat snugly on her head. 'There! Come see what you think.'

For a long moment, Pamela stared at her own reflection as though she had just met a stranger. Once again she had an uncomfortable feeling of déjà vu. She had seen this vision before as well- in the same dream. Yet she had never known that it was herself she was looking at.

'Better be careful, luv,' Mrs. Pascoe said with a teasing smile. 'Young Mr. Theo might take a great liking to what he sees.'

Pamela paled, a pang of fear momentarily taking her voice away. 'I hope not. Servants aren't supposed to get too friendly with their employers, are they?'

'Servants!' Mrs. Pascoe said, raising an eyebrow in mock-irritation, giving Pamela a playful swat, drawing an unwilling smile from the girl. 'You're not a servant, dearie! You're an em-ploy-ee. You can quit and walk away any time you like. This isn't the Middle Ages, you know.'

As they made their way back to the kitchen, Pamela found herself daydreaming that she was living in the Middle Ages, that she was a servant, that Theo could simply decide to take her, his passions getting the better of him. That he would . . . she suddenly found herself flushed with embarrassment. Her mind would not allow her to consider what he might do with her, should his passions become aroused. Her imagination wouldn't go there simply because it couldn't. She had no experience with men. In the past, she viewed such entanglements as leading to a life of poverty with children. She was not about to suffer that fate.

She tried to tear her thoughts away from what she wanted but couldn't have. 'I'm just lucky to have a nice job with food and a roof over my head,' she thought to herself. 'I'm living in a palace, so what more could I want?' But she found her thoughts unwillingly drawn ever and again to Theo, the man who had so intimidated her, the man her unreasoning instincts were so certain was the same as in her old dream.