The Buccaneer - A Tale

What is the existence of man's life?

It is a weary solitude

Which doth short joys, long woes include;

The world the stage, the prologue tears,

The acts, vain hope and varied fears;

The scene shuts up with loss of breath,

And leaves no epilogue but death.

HENRY KING

"And it's come to this, is it?" exclaimed Solomon Grundy, who sat

enthroned like a monarch of good cheer among the beings of his own

creation in the buttery at Cecil Place--"And it's come to this, is it?

and there's to be no feasting; a wedding-fast in lieu of a

wedding-feast! No banquet in the hall--no merry-making in the kitchen! I

might have let that poor shrivelled preacher cut into the centre of my

pasty, and ravish the heart of my deer; stuffed, as it is, with tomatoes

and golden pippins! he might have taken the doves unto his bosom, and

carried the frosted antlers on his head; they would have been missed by

no one, save thee, Solomon Grundy. And those larded fowl! that look like

things of snow and not of flesh; even my wife praised them, and

said,--'Grundy,' said she--'Solomon, my spouse,' said she, 'you have

outdone yourself:'--that was praise. But what signifies praise to me

now? My master wo'n't eat--my mistress wo'n't eat--Barbara, she wo'n't

eat! I offered her a pigeon-pie; she said, 'No, I thank ye, Solomon,'

and passed away. That I should ever live to see any one pass away from

a pigeon-pie of my making! Sir Willmott Burrell, he wo'n't eat, but

calls for wine and strong waters in his dressing-room: it's a queer

bridal! Ah! there's one of the Lady Cromwell's women, perhaps she will

eat; it is heart-breaking to think that such food as this"--and he cast

his eye over a huge assemblage of sundries, that "Coldly furnish'd forth the marriage tables"-"such food as this should be consumed by vulgar brutes, who would better

relish a baron of beef and a measure of double-dub, than a trussed

turkey and a flagon of canary."

Solomon, however, succeeded in prevailing upon Mistress Maud to enter,

and then had but little difficulty in forcing upon her some of the

confections, though all his efforts could not extort a compliment to his

culinary accomplishments.

"They are wonderful, considering they are country made," she said, after

discussing a third tartlet; "but there must be great allowance for your

want of skill; and you ought to esteem yourself fortunate (I'll take

another jelly) that there is to be no banquet; for--though it is evil to

give one's mind to fleshly tastes or creature comforts--these things

would hardly be deemed fit for a second-table wedding at Whitehall!"