The Broad Highway

And presently she lay still. I felt her body relax and grow

suddenly pliable and soft, her head fell back across my arm, and,

as she lay, I saw the tears of her helplessness ooze out beneath

her drooping lashes; but still I smiled.

So, with her long hair trailing over me, I bore her to the

cottage. Closing the door behind me with my foot, I crossed the

room, and set her down upon the bed.

She lay very still, but her bosom heaved tumultuously, and the

tears still crept from beneath her lashes; but in a while she

opened her eyes and looked at me, and shivered, and crouched

farther from me, among the pillows.

"Why did you lie to me, Charmian; why did you lie to me?" She

did not answer, only she watched me as one might watch some

relentless, oncoming peril.

"I asked you once if you ever saw men hereabouts--when I was

away, do you remember? You told me, 'no,' and, while you spoke,

I knew you lied, for I had seen him standing among the leaves,

waiting and watching for you. I once asked you if you were ever

lonely when I was away, and you answered 'no',--you were too

busy--'seldom went beyond the Hollow'--do you remember? And yet

--you had brought him here--here, into the cottage he had looked

at my Virgil--over your shoulder--do you remember?"

"You played the spy!" she whispered with trembling lips, yet with

eyes still fierce and scornful.

"You know I did not; had I seen him I should have killed him,

because--I loved you. I had set up an altar to you in my heart,

where my soul might worship--poor fool that I was! I loved you

with every breath I drew. I think I must have shown you

something of this, from time to time, for you are very clever,

and you may have laughed over it together--you and he. And

lately I have seen my altar foully desecrated, shattered, and

utterly destroyed, and, with it, your sweet womanhood dragged in

the mire, and yet--I loved you still. Can you imagine, I wonder,

the agony of it, the haunting horrors of imagination, the bitter

days, the sleepless nights? To see you so beautiful, so

glorious, and know you so base! Indeed, I think it came near

driving me mad. It has sent me out into the night; I have held

out my arms for the lightning to blast me; I have wished myself a

thousand deaths. If Black George had but struck a little harder

--or a little lighter; I am not the man I was before he thrashed

me; my head grows confused and clouded at times--would to God I

were dead! But now--you would go! Having killed my heart,

broken my life, driven away all peace of mind--you would leave

me! No, Charmian, I swear by God you shall not go--yet awhile.

I have bought you very dear--bought you with my bitter agony, and

by all the blasting torments I have suffered."