The Broad Highway

"Why, Peter!" said Charmian, regarding me with grave eyes, "what

do you mean?"

"I mean that the country folk hereabout go out of their way to

avoid crossing my path--not that, I suppose, they ever heard of

Mina, but because of my looks."

"Your looks?"

"They think me possessed of the 'Evil Eye' or some such folly

--may I cut you a piece of bread?"

"Oh, Peter!"

"Already, by divers honest-hearted rustics, I am credited with

having cast a deadly spell upon certain unfortunate pigs, with

having fought hand to hand with the hosts of the nethermost pit,

and with having sold my soul to the devil--may I trouble you to

pass the butter?"

"Oh, Peter, how foolish of them!"

"And how excusable! considering their ignorance and superstition,"

said I. "Mine, I am well aware, is not a face to win me the heart

of man, woman, or child; they (especially women and children) share,

in common with dogs and horses, that divine attribute which, for

want of a better name, we call 'instinct,' whereby they love or

hate for the mere tone of a voice, the glance of an eye, the motion

of a hand, and, the love or hate once given, the prejudice for, or

against, is seldom wholly overcome."

"Indeed," said Charmian, "I believe in first impressions."

"Being a woman," said I.

"Being a woman!" she nodded; "and the instinct of dog and child

and woman has often proved true in the end."

"Surely instinct is always true?" said I--"I'd thank you for

another cup of tea--yet, strangely enough, dogs generally make

friends with me very readily, and the few children to whom I've

spoken have neither screamed nor run away from me. Still, as I

said before, I am aware that my looks are scarcely calculated to

gain the love of man, woman, or child; not that it matters

greatly, seeing that I am likely to hold very little converse

with either."

"There is one woman, Peter, to whom you have talked by the hour

together--"

"And who is doubtless weary enough of it all--more especially of

Epictetus and Trojan Helen."

"Two lumps of sugar, Peter?"

"Thank you! Women are very like flowers--" I began.

"That is a very profound remark, sir!--more especially coming

from one who has studied and knows womankind so deeply."

"--and it is a pity that they should be allowed to 'waste their

sweetness on the desert air.'"