The Black God

"Maybe not afraid. Maybe … unwilling. You forget, Jonny. I knew you before you were … this. You have a heart, and it's a very good one. You've just forgotten how to use it."

"That person had to change to become who I am now," he said firmly.

"Not all of you had to. You care about me."

"You're a means to an end."

"I'm a tool you won't send onto the battlefield when you think I can't handle it. Some part of you cares. I've always known it, no matter what bullshit you tell me."

"I'm protecting my best asset. It's what a good leader does."

"You sound stubborn like me now!" She started to laugh.

"Emotions will not win this battle with Valon," he replied. "Strategy and planning will."

"That's not true," she said. "If you don't fight with your heart, you lose. This isn't a game. This is your life we're talking about. Or maybe, it is a game, because your life can't be taken from you like mine can me. Maybe that's what's missing."

"That's not entirely accurate," he replied. His eyes were beginning to glow red, like they had when he kissed her. "Valon is a godslayer. He's the only person on the planet who can kill me."

"You're not afraid?"

"Of course not. I can't let emotion cloud my judgment."

She studied him. He was so different from the teen boy she recalled. The danger of being with him and his brooding nature had been a thrill to her when she was seventeen, yet it was the quiet moments like this one that captured her heart.

"Sometimes emotion helps you fight when you feel like you can't," she murmured. "Sometimes you have to let anger and pain and hope out."

"For what purpose? So I become sloppy enough to be killed?"

"No." She rolled her eyes at him. "You view emotion as a weakness. It can make you stronger, too."

"I can't afford to feel, Ash. Not for anyone or any cause."

Her instincts sparked. She'd always thought he cared for her at some point, more so than he admitted to. If she broke that barrier, if she reminded him what they once had, would it be enough for him to understand what she and Charles needed him to know? Ashley debated internally and then decided to do what she did sometimes when she sparred: dive in and see how her enemy reacted.

She kissed Jonny, resting against his frame.

This kiss was light and quick. When she leaned away, she saw his gaze riveted to her. The tension between them grew thicker quickly, and they observed one another for a long moment.