The Bedroom Assignment

‘Gee, thanks,’ she said with heavy irony.

He ignored that. He slung himself down behind a light glass and chrome table and switched on a computer that he’d magicked out of a hidden wall cupboard. At once he was flicking away absently. He seemed to have no more than half an eye on the messages that flashed up on the screen and then disappeared.

‘Not at all. Take a load off. Sit.’

It was not a gracious invitation but she was quite glad to comply. Her head was beginning to spin slightly.

‘Thank you.’

He carried on scrolling through his messages on the screen. ‘So. They showed you round? What do you think of the place?’

Zoe was taken aback. ‘I don’t know anything about public relations.’

‘Neither do most of our customers. And they come through here all the time. I’m curious as to what they make of us. So, tell me, what were your first impressions?’

‘Schizophrenia,’ she said honestly.

He stopped flicking for a moment. ‘What?’ He sounded genuinely intrigued.

‘Well, the decor—’ She waved her hand. ‘You don’t seem to be able to make up your mind whether you want to be a set for a sci-fi film or the waiting room of Louis Quatorze.’

‘Really?’ He looked at her curiously. He did not seem offended. ‘No one’s ever said that before.’

‘Maybe nobody has dared to.’

‘You’re a real original, aren’t you?’ He said it with the air of a connoisseur, as if she ought to be flattered by his approval.

She was not flattered. Suddenly, blessedly, she was hopping mad.

‘Am I? Is that supposed to be compliment?’

Jay shrugged. ‘I don’t pay compliments. Especially not to women who work for me.’

‘That must make for a happy work place,’ said Zoe, bristling.

For a moment he looked startled. Then he smiled again, with a lot less conscious charm, she thought.

‘Makes it peaceful, at least,’ he said ruefully. ‘Almost the only house rule we have. Don’t screw the company. You can make private phone calls. I don’t care what time you get in or leave, as long as you do your own work. But if you start a steaming affair with a colleague you get your cards and leave at the end of the week.’

Zoe was so angry she could have danced with temper if she had not been wearing her best clothes and trying to be dignified. ‘What about an affair that’s only slightly simmering?’ she asked sweetly.

His eyes narrowed. ‘A barrack room lawyer, are you? Fine. The definition is: any relationship that causes sheep’s eyes across the computer.’

‘And how do you define sheep’s—?’

Suddenly he tired of the game. ‘Anything other people notice,’ he snapped.

‘Oh, well, that’s all right,’ she said unwarily. ‘I’m good at keeping things secret.’

When he was angry his eyes went a flat, brownish green, she thought. He looked at her for an unnerving, silent minute.

‘Are you deliberately trying to provoke me into sacking you on your first day here?’ he said at last softly.

She stood her ground. She had paid attention when Suze talked, after all.

‘You can’t afford to sack me. You won’t get anyone else in the time and you’ve run out of good will in the agencies,’ Zoe pointed out.

It was a stand-off. They glared at each other until the door opened and Poppy came in with a tray. She took in the atmosphere in one glance, put down the coffee, and backed out fast.

But it broke the tension.

‘Come to think of it, how do you manage to get through staff so fast?’ asked Zoe, bland as cream. ‘Do they collapse on the treadmill?’

‘They fall in love with me,’ said Jay, even blander.

She gasped, gagged, and collapsed into a coughing fit.

His eyes lost that green angry look. He looked satisfied, damn him.

But he still had good manners. ‘Would you like some water?’

She shook her head, eyes streaming. He passed her a neatly laundered handkerchief.

‘That’s the other house rule,’ he said, pouring coffee while she mopped her eyes and got her breath back painfully. ‘Never mind the end of the week. If you fall in love with me you leave at once. On the hour. Clear?’