The Bairn of Brianag

I could feel him look at me in the darkness. "I have had many lovers, Jessie, as you are undoubtedly aware."

I laughed. "I do not mean whores," I said, "or other men's wives. I mean a lover who cares for you, who would give her life for you."

"You mean yourself, of course," he said with a note of derision, the note that I had heard from him all my life, when I annoyed him.

"We have known each other our whole lives," I said.

"Your whole life," he said.

"My whole life," I continued. "We know each other. We share the same ancestors. We can be happy together as man and wife."

"You are a bairn," he said. "Everyone has always given you what you wanted, if only to keep you quiet."

My desire for him overshadowed the push of anger that rose in me. "Do you wish for my silence now?" I whispered, and leaning forward, I found his mouth with mine. I could smell the whisky he had drunk with Kevin. The sweetness of his lips made me weak. "Will you give me what I want now, so that I will stop pestering you?"

With a strangled sound escaping his throat, he reached for me in the darkness. I felt the heat of his hands on my body through the soft linen of my nightdress; his breath was ragged as he took me in his arms and leaned me back onto the ground. He did not speak again but kissed me over and over, my face, my lips, my neck and bosom, his hands roaming over my body, bunching the cloth and smoothing it, pulling the linen off my shoulder, kissing the tips of my breasts. Without my stays, my breathing was deep and strong. I held onto him, returning his kisses, reveling in the heat that radiated from my loins. My legs were apart, he was pushing the linen up; I pushed myself up onto my elbows raised my hips so he could free it altogether. He rolled it up and placed it under my head, pushing me gently back down.

When he took me my wet softness barely resisted. I gasped, remembering what Cathy had told me, and she had been right; the pain was slight and lasted but a moment. My body needed no tutelage; I met his gentle pressure and then his slow thrust. He whispered, "Sweet Jesus," and we began to move together, and then I heard him call my name and knew that he was mine, and I laughed with triumph and release.