The Bairn of Brianag

On the evening of the second day I sat next to the fire as Rabbit wrapped food for our journey; she was humming to herself and I realized that she was as happy as I that we were going home. I had sent word to Pete; he would speak with the post when he came and tell me when to depart.

I was filled with trepidation. I was afraid the post would refuse to allow me to accompany him, that he would alert Hamish and Robbie. But I remembered how I had willed the strength when I left Gillean, how I had walked ten miles after being flogged, and I knew that I could find my way home to the lowcountry, even if I must do so with only Rabbit to accompany me.

The sound of boots on the cabin steps made us both start. We looked toward the door; it opened and Robbie stepped inside.

"Leave us," he said to Rabbit, looking at me.

I felt Rabbit's hesitation; I glanced at her and nodded slightly. "Wait on the porch," I said. She went out and closed the door.

I stood before Robbie with my hand on the back of a chair; my heart was pounding.

He took off his hat and bowed. I curtsied.

"I see, madam," he said, looking around at the bare room, "that you are determined to depart."

"Yes," I said.

"By law, I can keep you here. You are my wife, after all."

I looked at the floor, using my whole will to control my breathing; slowly I drew the air in, out. I would not faint. I would not. I was strong, as strong as Robbie; nay, stronger, for I had endured far more. I raised my face to his.

"Why should you wish to keep me here?" I said. "You never wanted to make me your wife. My mother was right; I was a whore, panting after you. Divorce me if you wish; but I shall return home."

In the shadows of the firelight I could not read his face. He stood with his hat in his hand, staring at me. I could hear the crackling of the fire, hear his breathing, hear my own heartbeats. The silence between us stretched on and on.

At last he turned and went out.

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Rabbit and I were dressed for our journey before the sun rose the next morning.

Pete was to bring my horse when the post arrived; we expected him before dinner time. I tried to sit still, but was restless with impatience.