The Bairn of Brianag
Page 116I swam about, the cold water now quite comfortable to me; I felt soothed both in my mind and body. After a short while I climbed out of the water and sat on the rocks, looking up from beneath the trees to the sky. White clouds hung motionless in the blue, like rolls of lambswool. The leaves barely stirred; there was not a breath of wind. In a short while I began to be hot again; I went into the pond once more.
I felt the water move and surfaced to look around. Across the pond someone had dived in. I thought perhaps Mary Ellen had followed me, but gasped as Robbie's head surfaced near mine, his face grinning wickedly as if we were still children.
"Robbie!" I squealed, "you frightened me!" I swam away from him, toward the edge of the pond, but he caught me by my ankle, pulling me toward him, and walked with me until I could stand, my shoulders out of the water. His body was hot against mine in the cold water; I wanted both to run away from him, and to stay.
"Ah, Jessie, lass!" he said softly, and kissed me.
Mindlessly, I gave myself over to my need, my desire, and kissed him back with all my heart, forgetting my anger toward him. He carried me from the water and into the wood a short distance, and lay down with me, his arm under my head, his other hand holding me about my waist. I looked up at him, my heart racing madly.
"I am almost afraid to touch you," he whispered, sliding his hand down along my thigh.
"Why?" I said.
"You are carrying my son in you!" he said. "I would not injure him, nor you."
I did not know what to say. No one had advised me about such matters.
"I must have you, I must, Jessie," he said, and his voice was low and rough. "God, how I have longed for you! I will be careful with you. I will not hurt you."
"Yes, Robbie, yes," I said, my eyes full of him, and he put his arms around me, drawing me to his chest, where his heart was thudding loudly.
He raised himself over me; by now, I could feel the heat pulsing in me. He kissed me, his lips hot and sweet, the taste of him inflaming me, and then we were joined. I forgot the child in me in my need, grasping him by his buttocks, pulling him closer, wrapping my legs around him, and he said, "No, lass; gently," against my mouth, restraining me with one of his hands on my hip, his other hand in my hair, moving inside me carefully; I felt I would go mad.