The Amateur Gentleman

"Marvellous!" sighed Barnabas, observing them with the eyes of envy.

"Well, sir," pursued his Lordship, "the long and short of it was--my

honored Roman, having worked himself into a state of 'divine right'

necessary to the occasion, vows that unless I give up the race and

spend less time and money in London, he will clap me into the stocks.

'Then, sir,' says I, smiling and unruffled, 'pray clap me in as

soon as you will'; and he being, as I told you, a man of his

word,--well--here I am."

"Where I find you enduring your situation with a remarkable fortitude,"

said Barnabas.

"Egad, sir! how else should I endure it? I flatter myself I am

something of a philosopher, and thus, enduring in the cause of

freedom and free will, I scorn my bonds, and am consequently free.

Though, I'll admit, 'twixt you and me, sir, the position cramps

one's legs most damnably."

"Now in regard to Sir Mortimer Carnaby," persisted Barnabas,

"your father, it would seem, neither likes nor trusts him."

"My father, sir, is--a father, consequently perverse. Sir Mortimer

Carnaby is my friend, therefore, though my father has never met Sir

Mortimer Carnaby, he takes a mortal antipathy to Sir Mortimer Carnaby,

Q.E.D., and all the rest of it."

"On the other hand," pursued Barnabas the steadfast-eyed,

"you--admire, respect, and honor your friend Sir Mortimer Carnaby!"

"Admire him, sir, who wouldn't? There isn't such another all-round

sportsman in London--no, nor England. Only last week he drove

cross-country in his tilbury over hedges and ditches, fences and all,

and never turned a hair. Beat the 'Fighting Tanner' at Islington in

four rounds, and won over ten thousand pounds in a single night's

play from Egalite d'Orleans himself. Oh, egad, sir! Carnaby's the

most wonderful fellow in the world!"

"Though a very indifferent boxer!" added Barnabas.

"Indiff--!" His Lordship let fall the last fragments of his bread

and meat, and stared at Barnabas in wide-eyed amazement. "Did you

say--indifferent?"

"I did," nodded Barnabas, "he is much too passionate ever to make a

good boxer."

"Why, deuce take me! I tell you there isn't a pugilist in England

cares to stand up to him with the muffles, or bare knuckles!"

"Probably because there are no pugilists left in England, worth the

name," said Barnabas.

"Gad, sir! we are all pugilists nowadays--the Manly Art is all the

fashion--and, I think, a very excellent fashion. And permit me to

tell you I know what I'm talking of, I have myself boxed with nearly

all the best 'milling coves' in London, and am esteemed no novice at

the sport. Indeed love of the 'Fancy' was born in me, for my father,

sir--though occasionally Roman--was a great patron of the game, and

witnessed the great battle between 'Glorious John Barty' and

Nathaniel Bell--"