The Amateur Gentleman

"Bo'sun," said the Captain, indicating Barnabas, with a flap of his

empty sleeve, "Bo'sun--favor me, I say oblige me by explaining to

this young gentleman your opinion of a gentleman--I say tell him who

you think is the First Gentleman in Europe!"

The Bo'sun stared from Barnabas to the Captain and back again.

"Begging your Honor's parding," said he, touching the brim of the

glazed hat, "but surely nobody don't need to be told that 'ere?"

"It would seem so, Jerry."

"Why then, Cap'n--since you ax me, I should tell you--bold an' free

like, as the First Gentleman in Europe--ah! or anywhere else--was

Lord Nelson an' your Honor."

As he spoke the Bo'sun stood up very straight despite his wooden leg,

and when he touched his hat again, his very pigtail seemed

straighter and stiffer than ever.

"Young sir," said the Captain, regarding Barnabas from the corners

of his eyes, "what d' ye say to that?"

"Why," returned Barnabas, "now I come to think of it, I believe the

Bo'sun is right."

"Sir," nodded the Captain, "the Bo'sun generally is; my Bo'sun, sir,

is as remarkable as that leg of his which he has contrived so that

it will screw on or off--in sections sir--I mean the wooden one."

"But," said Barnabas, beginning to stroke his chin in the

argumentative way that was all his father's, "but, sir, I was

meaning gentlemen yet living, and Lord Nelson, unfortunately, is dead."

"Bo'sun," said the Captain, "what d' ye say to that?"

"Why, Cap'n, axing the young gentleman's pardon, I beg leave to

remark, or as you might say, ob-serve, as men like 'im don't die,

they jest gets promoted, so to speak."

"Very true, Jerry," nodded the Captain again, "they do, but go to a

higher service, very true. And now, Bo'sun, the bread!"

"Ay, ay, sir!" said the Bo'sun, and, taking the neat parcel the

Captain held out, dropped it forthwith into the crown of the glazed

hat.

"Bo'sun, the meat! the young fool will be hungry by now, poor lad!"

"Ay, ay, Cap'n!" And, the meat having disappeared into the same

receptacle, the Bo'sun resumed his hat. Now turning to Barnabas, the

Captain held out his hand.

"Sir," said he, "I wish you good-by and a prosperous voyage,

and may you find yourself too much a man ever to fall so low

as 'fashion,'--I say dammit! The bread and meat, sir, are for

a young fool who thinks, like yourself, that the World of Fashion

is the world. By heaven, sir, I say by Gog and Magog! if

I had a son with fashionable aspirations, I'd have him triced up

to the triangles and flogged with the 'cat'--I say with the

cat-o'-ninetails, sir, that is--no I wouldn't, besides I--never

had a son--she--died, sir--and good-by!"