The Amateur Gentleman

"Impudent impostor, sir? Quite so and fiddlesticks! Heigho! you are

so abominably high-minded and heroic, Barnabas,--it's quite

depressing. Cleone is only a human woman, who powders her nose when

it's red, and quite right too--I mean the powder of course, not the

redness. Oh! indeed she's very human, and after all, your mother was

a Beverley, and I know you are rich and--ah! there she is--on the

terrace with the Captain, and I'm sure she has seen you, Barnabas,

because she's so vastly unconscious. Observe the pose of her

head,--she has a perfect neck and shoulders, and she knows it. There!

see her kissing the Captain,--that's all for my benefit, the yellow

minx! just because I happened to call him a 'hunks,' and so he is--though

I don't know what I meant,--because he refused to change that dreadful

old service coat. There! now she's patting his cheek--the golden jade!

Now--watch her surprise when she pretends to catch sight of us!"

Hereupon, as they advanced over the smooth turf, the Duchess raised

her voice.

"My bird!" she called in dulcet tones, "Clo dear, Cleone my lamb,

here is Barnabas, I found him--under the finger-post, my dove!"

My lady turned, gave the least little start in the world, was

surprised, glad, demure, all in the self-same minute, and taking the

arm of her Tyrant, who had already begun a truly nautical greeting,

led him, forthwith, down the terrace steps, the shining curls at her

temple brushing his shabby coat-sleeve as they came.

"Ha!" cried the Captain, "my dear fellow, we're glad--I say we're

all of us glad to see you. Welcome to 'The Gables,'--eh, Clo?"

And Cleone? With what gracious ease she greeted him! With what clear

eyes she looked at him! With what demure dignity she gave him her

white hand to kiss! As though--for all the world as though she could

ever hope to deceive anything so old and so very knowing as the

ancient finger-post upon the London road!

"Clo dear," said the Duchess, "they're going to talk horses and

racing, and bets and things,--I know they are,--your arm, my love.

Now,--lead on, gentlemen. And now, my dear," she continued, speaking

in Cleone's ear as Barnabas and the Captain moved on, "he

simply--adores you!"

"Really, God-mother--how clever of you!" said Cleone, her eyes brim

full of merriment, "how wonderful you are!"

"Yes, my lady Pert,--he worships you and, consequently, is deceiving

you with every breath he draws!"