The Amateur Gentleman

"No, at mine," said Barnabas.

"Sir," said Mr. Shrig, round and placid of eye, "ven I says a thing

I means it. Consequent you are now a-going to sluice your ivory vith

a glass of the Vun an' Only, at my expense,--you must and you shall."

"Yes," said Barnabas, feeling in his pockets. "I must, my purse is

gone."

"Purse!" exclaimed Mr. Shrig, his innocent eyes rounder than ever,

"gone, sir?"

"Stolen," nodded Barnabas.

"Think o' that now!" sighed Mr. Shrig, "but I ain't surprised, no, I

ain't surprised, and--by Goles!"

"What now?"

"Your cravat-sparkler!--that's wanished too!" Barnabas felt his

rumpled cravat, and nodded. "And your vatch, now--don't tell me as

they 've took--"

"Yes, my watch also," sighed Barnabas.

"A great pity!" said Mr. Shrig, "though it ain't to be vondered

at,--not a bit."

"I valued the watch greatly, because it was given me by a very good

friend," said Barnabas, sighing again.

"Walleyed it, hey?" exclaimed Mr. Shrig, "walleyed it, sir?--v'y then,

'ere it be!" and from a capacious side-pocket he produced Natty

Bell's great watch, seals and all.

"Why--!" exclaimed Barnabas, staring.

"Also your purse, sir,--not forgetting the sparkler." Mr. Shrig

continued, producing each article in turn.

"But--how in the world--?" began Barnabas.

"I took 'em from you v'ile you vos a-lookin' at my castor. Lord love

me, a babe could ha' done it,--let alone a old 'and, like me!"

"Do you mean--?" began Barnabas, and hesitated.

"In my young days, sir," explained Mr. Shrig with his placid smile,

"I vere a champion buzman, ah! and a prime rook at queering the gulls,

too, but I ewentually turned honest all along of a flash, morning-sneak

covess as got 'erself conwerted."

"What do you mean by a morning-sneak covess?"

"I means a area-sneak, sir, as vorks werry early in the morning. A

fine 'andsome gal she vere, and vith nothing of the flash mollisher

about 'er, either, though born on the streets, as ye might say, same

as me. Vell, she gets con-werted, and she's alvays napping 'er bib

over me,--as you'd say, piping 'er eye, d'ye see? vanting me to turn

honest and be con-werted too. 'Turn honest,' says she, 'and ve'll be

married ter-morrow,' says she."

"So you turned honest and married her?" said Barnabas, as Mr. Shrig

paused.