The Amateur Gentleman

"Yes, yes!" exclaimed the fussy gentleman impatiently, "but where

does my valise come in?"

"Your walise, sir," said Mottle-face, deftly flicking the off wheeler,

"your walise comes in--at the end, sir, and I'm a-comin' to it as

qvick as you'll let me."

"Hum!" said the gentleman again.

"Now, in my feyther's time," resumed Mottle-face serenely, "the

roads vos vorse than they are to-day, ah! a sight vorse, an' as for

'ighvaymen--Lord! they vos as thick as blackberries--blackberries? I

should say so! Theer vos footpads be'ind every 'edge--gangs of

'em--an' 'ighvaymen on every 'eath--"

"God bless my soul!" exclaimed the fussy gentleman, "so many?"

"Many?" snorted Mottle-face, "there vos armies of 'em. But my feyther,

as I think I mentioned afore, vere the bravest, boldest, best-plucked

coachman as ever sat on a box."

"I hope it runs in the family."

"Sir, I ain't one give to boastin', nor yet to blowin' my own 'orn,

but truth is truth, and--it do!"

"Good!" said the fussy gentleman, "very good!"

"Now the vorst of all these rogues vos a cove called Black Dan, a

thieving, murdering, desprit wagabone as vere ewcntually 'ung

sky-'igh on Pembury 'Ill--"

"Good!" said the fussy gentleman louder than before, "good! Glad of it!"

"An' yet," sighed Mottle-face, "'e 'ad a werry good 'eart--as

'ighvaymen's 'earts go; never shot nobody unless 'e couldn't help it,

an' ven 'e did, 'e allus made a werry neat job of it, an' polished

'em off nice an' qvick."

"Hum!" said the fussy gentleman, "still, I'm glad he's hanged."

"Black Dan used to vork the roads south o' London, "Kent an' Surrey mostly, conseqvent it vere a long time afore 'im an'

my feyther met; but at last vun night, as my feyther vos driving

along--a good fifteen mile an hour, for it vere a uncommon fine night,

vith a moon, like as it might be now--"

"Ah?" said the fussy gentleman.

"An' presently 'e came to vere the road narrered a bit, same as it

might be yonder--"

"Ah!" murmured the fussy gentleman again.

"An' vith a clump o' trees beyond, nice, dark, shady trees--like it

might be them werry trees ahead of us--"

"Oh!" exclaimed the fussy gentleman.

"An' as 'e come up nearer an' nearer, all at vunce 'e made out a

shadder in the shade o' them trees--"

"Dear me!" exclaimed the fussy gentleman uneasily, staring very hard

at the trees in front.

"A shadder as moved, although the leaves vos all dead still. So my

feyther--being a bold cove--reached down for 'is blunderbush--this

werry same old blunderbush as I 've got under the box at this

i-dentical minute, (though its trigger veren't broke then) but,

afore 'e can get it out, into the road leaps a man on a great black

'oss--like it might be dead ahead of us, a masked man, an' vith a

pistol in each fist as long as yer arm."