The Air He Breathes

The way he glared at me made my stomach flip. There was a high level of discomfort in my chest, yet behind it was still that familiar ting in my gut that arrived when he looked me in the eyes.

We both walked into our houses without a goodbye.

I ate dinner alone at the dining room table. When I looked across the room, through my dining room windows, I saw Tristan sitting at his table eating too. His house seemed so dark and empty. Lonely. When he looked across and saw me, I straightened up. I gave him a simple smile and a small wave. He stood from his chair, walked over to his windows, and closed his blinds.

It didn’t take long for me to realize that our bedroom windows were also right across from one another, and he was quick to shut those curtains too.

I called to check in on Emma, who from the sound of it was hyped up on candy and grandparents time. Around eight o’clock I was sitting on the living room sofa, staring into space, trying not to cry when Faye texted me.

Faye: You okay?

Me: I’m fine.

Faye: Interested in company?

Me: Not tonight. Tired.

Faye: Interested in company?

Me: Sleeping…

Faye: Interested in company?

Me: Tomorrow.

Faye: Love you, tits.

Me: Love you, boobs.

The pounding on the front door that followed after our last message wasn’t that surprising. I figured there was no way Faye wouldn’t stop by, because she knew when I said I was okay, I was normally far from being okay. What was surprising was when I opened the front door to see a slew of people. Friends. The leader of the pack was Faye, holding the biggest bottle of tequila known to mankind.

“Interested in company?” She smirked.

I stared down at my pajamas, and then glanced once more at the tequila. “Absolutely.”

“I really thought you would’ve slammed the door in all of our faces,” a familiar voice said from behind me as I stood in the kitchen, pouring out four shots. I turned to see Tanner staring my way, tossing the coin he always seemed to have in his grip, and I leaped into his arms for a tight hug. “Hey, Liz,” he whispered, pulling me into a tighter grip.

Tanner was Steven’s best friend, and for a long time they’d had the kind of bromance that made me think my husband might leave me for a man. Tanner was a built guy with dark, dark eyes and blond hair. He worked at the auto shop he’d taken over after his dad became sick. He and Steven became best buddies when they were paired as roommates their freshman year of college. Even though Tanner stopped going to school after the first year in order to work for his dad, he and Steven stayed close.

Tanner gave me his friendly smirk and let me go. He lifted two of the shots I poured. He handed one to me, and we downed them together. Then he lifted the other two, and we downed those also. I smiled. “You know, all four of those were for me.”

“I know. Just saving your liver a little.” I watched as he reached into his pocket, pulling out a quarter. The same quarter he would always flip between his fingers nonstop. It was a weird habit that he’d been doing way before we even met.

“I see you still have that coin of yours.” I laughed.

“Never leave home without it,” he replied with a chuckle before placing it back into his pocket.

I studied his face, concern filling me up inside. He probably didn’t know it, but sometimes his eyes looked so sad. “How are you?”

His shoulders rose and fell. “It’s just nice to see your face again. It’s been a while, buddy. Plus, you kind of just vanished after…” His words faded off. Everyone’s words always faded off when they were about to mention Steven’s death. I thought that was a good thing.

“I’m back.” I nodded and poured us four more shots. “Emma and I are here to stay. We just needed a bit of air, that’s all.”

“You still driving that piece of shit car?” he asked.

“I definitely am.” I bit my bottom lip. “I hit a dog the other day.”

His mouth dropped open. “No!”

“Yup. The dog’s okay, but my crappy car hiccupped and ran into the thing.”

“I’ll check it out for you,” he offered.

I shrugged. “It’s okay. I can pretty much walk everywhere now that I’m in town. No big deal.”

“It will be a big deal when winter comes along.”

“Don’t worry, Tanner Michael Chase, it will be all right.”

A smirk found his lips. “You know I hate when you use my full name.”

I laughed. “That’s exactly why I do it.”

“Well, we should make a toast,” Tanner offered. Faye came crashing into the room and lifted one of the shots high.

“I’m all about toasts when tequila is involved.” She giggled. “Or vodka, whiskey, rum, rubbing alcohol…”

I laughed and the three of us held the shot glasses in the air. Tanner cleared his throat. “To old friends making new beginnings. We missed you and Emma, Liz, and we are so damn happy to have you back. May the next few months be easy on you, and may you remember that you’re never alone.”

With one swift movement, we downed the shots.

“So, random question. I want to change all the locks in the place just for a new start. Do you know anyone who can do that?”

“Definitely, Sam can.”

“Sam?”

“You know the guy I fired so I could hire you? The socially awkward kid at the café? His dad has a shop that Sam works at part-time for that kind of stuff.”