Take Me On

And…he went…numb. To everything but her. The uncertainty in her eyes, the quivering of her bottom lip. Not knowing what else to do with the beautiful creature standing there, looking at him, waiting for…something, anything, he took one more step to her on jellied legs and drew her into his arms in mute astonishment. She went, burying her face in his shirt. Dampness promptly spread against his skin, her silent tears leaking through the fabric of his T-shirt.

It was most single guys’ worst nightmare, he supposed…but to him…

The numbness shattered, and he wanted to kick his own ass for smirking at Brian earlier. Karma had certainly bit him back fast over that one. Christ.

How the f**k had this happened? They’d taken precautions. Unless that one moment of fooling around in the kitchen had sealed their fate.

“Are you sure?” he asked dumbly. She wouldn’t be here telling him if she wasn’t. But his mind wouldn’t settle on anything even remotely intelligent to say.

“After three positive tests, I’m pretty sure. I have every symptom in the book.” Pulling away from him, she wiped her eyes with a finality that said she was done with tears. “It’s okay. I’ll deal with it.”

“What does that mean?”

“It means don’t panic, because you don’t have to worry about anything. I’m going to have this baby, and no one ever has to know it’s your baby if you don’t want them to. And I know you don’t,” she finished with a tinge of bitterness that cut him.

The words your baby caught and rattled around the inside of his brain. A baby. His baby. He didn’t know shit about babies. He had no brothers or sisters, so no nieces or nephews. No very young cousins. Walking by while a mother pushed a stroller down the sidewalk or in a store was about the extent of his contact with babies. “I don’t mean to be a dick, Gabby, but…you’re a hundred percent positive it’s mine?”

He steeled himself for an outburst, but it didn’t come. “I’m going to give you that one, because I understand that’s a legitimate concern, Ian, but it’s yours. I haven’t been with anyone else. Not since my ex-fiancé.”

He wanted to believe her. But Brian had stood in this very building and talked about how Gabby had gone a little wild, about how his mother had said there had been nights she didn’t come home. Granted, it didn’t mean she’d been out screwing other men…but she’d damn sure come on strong to him. He didn’t think he was out of line by voicing those concerns.

“You don’t believe me.”

He looked her in the eyes. Now he could practically see the impending outburst gathering steam. “If you say it’s mine,” he said at last, “then it’s mine.” And he meant it. Surely, if she had been with anyone else, if she had any doubts whatsoever about the paternity of this child, that other guy was where she would be right now. Not here, trying to pin it on someone who didn’t have shit to offer her.

She went off alert. He turned away and bumped his thigh lightly with his fist, trying to get a grip, trying to think.

“What are you thinking?” she asked, and he almost laughed at the timing of the question.

“I don’t know. I really don’t.”

“Yeah. I know the feeling.”

“Have you told anyone else?”

“No. I thought you deserved to know first.”

“Jesus. You have so many plans, Gabby. This is…I just can’t f**king believe this.”

That was all it boiled down to. She was standing here telling him everything about their lives was going to change in a handful of months, and for the most part, she was being so cool about it. He just couldn’t wrap his head around it yet.

“Don’t worry about me. I have a strong support system. And those plans did include a baby someday…just not anytime soon.” She cleared her throat. “Anyway. I should go check on Candace.”

“Wait. We should get together later and talk about this.”

“What’s to talk about?”

“You just walked in here and told me I’m going to be a father. Did you think I’m not going to take that shit seriously?”

“We were together for one night. I wasn’t expecting a proposal, and I don’t want one.”

“I wasn’t offering one. But I’m not gonna turn my back on the situation either. I’m not gonna shrug it off.”

“Why not?”

Was she kidding him right now? “Goddammit, Gabby.” He crossed the room to her in only a couple of strides. “You think just because we were only together one night that I don’t give a shit about you, or about this? You got under my skin. Ever since that night, I haven’t been able to f**king stop thinking about you. I haven’t been able to sleep for imagining you beside me. Now you tell me that against all odds, we created a life. I still can’t believe it, but if you’re thinking I’m content with just being the f**king sperm donor, you’re wrong.”

All at once, his own words informed him how he felt; he’d just needed his brain to catch up with his mouth. Despite the shock, despite the dismay and the worry and the “Oh, shit, what have I done?” running on an endless loop in his head—this was a chance to set all the wrong things right in his life. All the hurt, all the emotions he’d kept buried so deep were boiling to the surface. Not in anger. In eagerness to be dealt with once and for all.

He’d hoped for a softening of her expression as he spoke, hoped that his lame words could convey what he’d been feeling about her for the past few weeks, but he must’ve failed. Her gaze remained steady on his, riveted, but in the end, she was unmoved. “What do you think is going to happen? I’m not changing any of my plans until I absolutely have to. I’m still leaving in a couple of weeks. There’s nothing for me here.”

“How can you leave? That support system you were talking about? They’re all here. Even if you don’t need me, you need them.”

She pushed his hands away. “See, this is what I don’t want—you trying to make decisions for me. It’s still my life. I have plenty of support there too.”

He stepped back, seething, feeling his heart wrench in his chest. “If you don’t want my input or my help, then what the f**k did you tell me for? One last kick to the nuts before you blow out of town with my baby?”

“Because I figured it would get back to you anyway, since you work with my brother. I didn’t want you finding out that way.”

“So it’s like, ‘Hey, by the way, I’m knocked up. Have a nice life’?”

“No. I don’t want to shut you out, Ian, I just don’t want…” She trailed off, and he noticed the way her hand strayed to her still-flat belly. “We didn’t expect this, obviously. I don’t want it to disrupt your life any more than it has to. It might not be right, it might not make sense, but I feel a little bit of guilt about it.”

“What about your life? It’s gonna get pretty damn disrupted. It’s only fair mine does too. You didn’t do this by yourself.”

“I know that. But what do you want? To move back to Dallas with me? To throw away that fresh start you wanted?” She paused for a moment to take a couple of breaths. “The morning we parted ways, I thought about what I hoped you would find in life. It wasn’t me. More like that cute blonde out there who was apparently slipping you her number.”