Sweet Soul

“Lexi,” I whispered, my heart filling with sympathy. She laughed and I smiled, seeing the happiness on her face. Then it dropped. “Austin and Levi were living in real hard times then, Elsie. They were both caring for their sick mamma,” she paused, then added, “they were both in a gang, Axel’s gang, and then I came along and almost ruined it all for them. I witnessed some things they didn’t want me to see.”

My eyes were wide as I hung on every word.

“Anyway, it was Austin who, even though I was spiraling to darkness, brought me out of it despite what he was going through.” Lexi shrugged. “Turned out he needed me too. Because he was spiraling too, they all were.”

“And Levi?” I asked, picturing him in my mind as a young teen, unable to imagine his sweet shy self in a gang.

Lexi’s face paled and her expression was sad. “He was lost, he still is. He was quiet, but trying to act like a man to help save his dying mamma.” She shook her head. “From the minute I met him he was the sweetest thing I’d ever seen, a kind heart branded with a menacing tattoo on his left cheek. He wore the gang sign on his face that told everyone to fear him, when inside he is, in my opinion, one of the very best people to have in your life. And when…” She chased away her tears with a wipe of her hand. “His mamma died, his big brother went to prison and I—one of the only other people he’d let in outside his family—was in hospital, down to skin and bones, fading before his eyes.” Lexi took my hand. “He was never the same after that day, Elsie. We moved to San Fran when Austin got an NFL contract, and we got him the hell out of Alabama and away from all his pain. We also got that tattoo removed.” Lexi squeezed my hand tighter. “But he carried all the pain with him. I don’t think he’s ever let it go.”

My heart shuddered, because I was exactly the same. My Levi, my lost boy, and me with my lonely heart, we were one and the same. Levi was right.

“When we moved, I had a degree, I registered to be a counselor and I knew what I wanted to do. I wanted to help those like myself. And I wanted to name it after my best friend who never could let go of her past.”

“Daisy,” I answered knowingly.

“Daisy, the girl who died before she ever really lived. The one that never found peace or acceptance of herself. The beautiful soul that never found her Austin,” Lexi nudged me playfully, “or maybe her Levi.”

I blushed, and Lexi laughed, getting to her feet. “Come on, let me show you round.”

I stood and followed Lexi to the door, but I pulled on her arm, bringing her to a stop. Lexi looked to me and I asked, “I don’t understand what I can do to help here? I,” I dropped my eyes and rocked on my feet, “I went hungry through being on the streets, I can’t empathize with having an eating disorder. I’m not sure I’m strong enough to handle all this.”

Lexi put her hand over mine and said, “It’s not this part of the center I was thinking of, sweetie.”

I nodded my head, still not quite sure where she thought I could help, but regardless I followed her through the halls, my heart breaking at the people we passed.

Most of the rooms were filled with young girls all too thin, their clothes hanging off their gaunt limbs. They all greeted Lexi with smiles, but through their smiles, their pain was clear. Various members of staff came out to say hello as we passed through, and I stood that little bit taller from my shyness when I was introduced as Levi’s girlfriend… when Lexi included me in her family.

I hadn’t been a part of a family. Even with my mom it was always just her and I… and even then she was rarely with it enough to be any kind of family to me. Although I loved her with everything I had.

We walked out of a back door into another stunning garden and across to a smaller house; smaller, but no less impressive. As we climbed the steps, Lexi held out her hand for me to take. I put my hand in hers. “This is where I could use your help, Elsie.” She smiled. “And maybe this could in some way start to help you too.”

I kept hold of Lexi’s hand until we entered the house, where a young pretty woman, maybe mid-twenties, with beautiful dark skin and a bright smile, approached. “Hey Lex,” she called and we walked forward until we stepped into her office.  The woman shut the door and held out her hand. “I’m Celesha, the manager of Kind, you must be Elsie.”

I shook Celesha’s hand and nodded my head. As always, my bravery of using my voice disappeared the minute I was faced with a stranger. But Celesha didn’t seem to mind, instead she waved her hand for us to follow.

We walked into the body of the house, but unlike the bigger house, the young people here weren’t underweight. In fact, they all looked like normal teens, sat in groups or in what looked like therapy sessions.

Celesha stopped at the mouth of a huge hall that was filled with young kids and teens playing ball. They were laughing and I couldn’t help but smile as I watched them play. I felt Celesha’s eyes on me. “Kind is a charity, Elsie, for young teens that are victims of bullying.”

My heart fell and I was sure it had landed on the ground. I clasped my hands together and my eyes focused downwards. I could feel the communal tension rising, when Lexi spoke. “A lot of these kids were runaways, Elsie, or ended up on the streets in other ways. Kind gives them a home and place to stay until they’re ready to return home. Or until they’re ready to face the world again when they’re older and healthy enough.

“But all have been affected, severely, by bullying—cyber, physical, verbal, mental, and—” I looked up when Celesha paused to look at a young girl, no older than twelve or thirteen, walk by and wave her hand in greeting. I stared at the young brunette. I stared because she had signed. She had used sign language to communicate.

“That’s Clara,” Lexi said. “She came to us a few weeks ago.” Lexi stepped closer. I watched as the brunette wandered off alone down the hallway. My stomach churned seeing her by herself. “She’s lived with her step dad since her mom died, but they’re not close. She doesn’t have many friends either.”

Like me, I wanted to say, but I held it inside.

I saw Celesha glance to Lexi and she stepped forward. I looked up at the woman looking down at me. “No one here knows sign language too well, and we were wondering if you could work with her some as you can sign? Even if that’s just to talk to her. If you want to, that is. No pressure.”