Sweet Little Memories

This wasn’t a conversation I was going to have with anyone, especially not Hilda.

“If you want to help with Wills, stay. But you better remember your reason for staying here and your place. If you want nothing more than to try and fuck me, leave now. You’re wasting my time.”

A large part of me wanted her to walk out the door. I feared her presence could hurt things with Beulah. I didn’t trust Hilda, but she was Wills’ mother. Even if she was a careless bitch, she was his mother. He needed to see her fight for him.

“He’s my son. I’m staying.”

Beulah

GERALDINE HAD ASKED TO GO visit Heidi when I arrived this morning. She’d already made the cake batter and started making cream cheese icing when I walked in the door. The thought of seeing my sister made things seem brighter.

Leaving Stone’s this morning I had felt as if we were drifting apart. I didn’t have a reason to feel that way. And I was aware my insecurities were heightened after learning he was a father. It also didn’t help that Hilda was staying in his house. Not to mention it was possible I was carrying our child. My emotions were all over the place.

Geraldine’s idea was better. Focusing on Heidi was safe.

Lucky for me, Geraldine also had me making cookies because they were her grandmother’s recipe and she knew Heidi and May would love them. That gave me even more to occupy my thoughts. It was almost lunch when we finished baking and Geraldine had put her final touches on everything.

I’d thought Stone might stop by, or I had hoped he would. Being apart was difficult right now. Things seemed so rocky and I had suddenly become needy. I didn’t like that feeling at all.

“I have this beautiful pink dress with ruffles. You can twirl and the ruffles dance all around you. It’s perfection. Do you think Heidi would like that? It’s hanging in my closet. Every time I see it I wish someone could enjoy it the way I once did. We both know I’ll end up prancing down here in it eventually when I’m in a crazy spell. Might as well give it to someone who can use it.”

I didn’t think Heidi could use a dress like that. Would she enjoy it though? Absolutely. She’d think she was a princess and I doubted she’d ever take it off. Which meant it would get dingy and stained. There is no telling how much Geraldine paid for the dress. Giving it to Heidi to play in made me nervous.

“I know she would love the dress, but I’m afraid she won’t appreciate it. She’d want to play outside in it. There would be dirt stains and icing smears,” I explained with a smile. The offer was incredibly generous. I didn’t think Geraldine understood Heidi that well. Even after our visits.

Geraldine laughed and waved a hand. “Who cares about that! I want her to have fun in it. That dress was meant for fun. Excitement. Adventure. Not dust in an old woman’s closet,” she said then clapped her hands together. “I’m going to get it now. We’re taking it with us. She can even wear it while she eats these cupcakes and cookies. It’ll be the most excitement that dress has seen in decades.”

I opened my mouth to argue, but Geraldine was gone. She was fast for her age, especially when she wanted to be. I watched as she ran up the stairs—or rather, walked swiftly. Going to visit Heidi always put her in a good mood. I was thankful for that because it did the same for me. I needed to see Heidi today. Her smile would ease the constant ache in my chest. The one that was foreboding, warning me the inevitable was coming.

This afternoon I would see my doctor. Geraldine already knew I was leaving early for an appointment. The closer it got to my time to leave for my appointment, the more nervous I became. I’d be there alone. Stone thought it was for a routine visit and to get me on birth control. I couldn’t tell him I was having a pregnancy test. He had too much to deal with.

As hard as I tried, I couldn’t stop thinking about him and Hilda alone. Together. I wondered what they were doing and what they were talking about. Was he still attracted to her? Did he remember what it was like to have sex with her and did he want to again? I sounded ridiculous but my curiosity was eating away at me.

“What shoe size does Heidi wear?” Geraldine asked as she came back down the staircase holding a pair of pink satin slippers. If they had been heels I would have been against it but the slippers were like ballet flats and Heidi would be fine in those. Her balance wasn’t the best. Heels had always been hard for her. She’d twisted her ankle trying mine on before my graduation.

“Seven,” I told her knowing the shoes she was carrying would fit perfectly.

“These are seven and a half,” she beamed. “I wear an eight now. My foot has grown with age. But these feel like you’re walking on a cloud. She’ll love them.”

“She won’t know how to handle so much excitement. A surprise visit is one thing. We are also taking the treats, the dress and shoes. She’s going to think it’s Christmas.”

Geraldine was smiling from ear to ear. She liked doing things for people. It was one of the many reasons she was easy to love. She had a huge heart. Heidi had taken to her immediately. She’d be happy to see her again today.

“Has Stone visited Heidi with you?”

Her question made me pause. I didn’t want to answer that. As imperfect as Jasper was, he’d visited Heidi with me. He knew she was important to me and he had wanted to be a part of my life. Stone had never asked or shown interest.

Again, my emotions were raw. I was being sensitive. Shaking that off, I smiled and mentally reassured myself that everything was fine. Stone was withdrawn, quiet, kept to himself. Jasper was different. He liked crowds.

Stone liked crowds too. Or at least it seemed like he did when he was at Jasper’s parties. They had been his people though—the ones he’d grown up and gone to school with.

No. I would not do this to myself. I was digging up drama where there wasn’t any. “Stone is busy. He rarely has time to sleep. I can’t expect him to find time to visit my sister,” I said knowing I didn’t have to defend him to Geraldine. She understood him better than anyone.

“Humph.” She frowning as we walked to the door. “He’s got time to have relations in my pantry while he thinks I’m napping. I guess if he can do that he can visit your family with you.”

I opened my mouth and closed it three times, unable to think of the right thing to say here.

“Stop flapping your jaw or a fly is gonna get in there. Now, come on. Let’s go see your sister. I won’t talk about Stone anymore today. But I will tell you this”—she stopped and looked at me—“you have got to make a stand. Let him know what you expect and deserve. Don’t let him run all over you or take advantage of your good nature. He’s a man, Beulah, and they are all a little self-centered until we shake them up a bit.”

All I could do was nod. I didn’t think Stone was self-centered at all, but I wasn’t about to argue with her. She would keep going, and we would run out of time. I had three hours to visit with my sister and drive Geraldine back home to get her settled before my appointment.

“Men don’t know how good they’ve got it when they find themselves a good one. We are worth our weight in gold.” Geraldine marched toward the garage that housed her Mercedes.

I didn’t comment.

“Do you think I should wear this pink dress to the Miller’s wedding?”