Sweet Hope

Mamma quietly gasped. “That is not your job, mio caro.”

I didn’t say anything and the trailer went silent. But then I heard Austin quietly singing Mamma’s favorite lullaby to Levi and I nodded my head. “Si, Mamma. This is my job. I need to look after you all, and I promise I always will… I’ll never let anyone hurt you or my brothers ever again. I will always keep you safe…”

*****

Thick tears fell down my cheeks, mixing with the cold rain as that memory played in my mind.

I will always keep you safe…

As I pictured Axel and Levi, I suddenly felt at peace. With me gone, they’d be safe. There’d be no more ties to our past. With me gone Austin’s new family would be safe and Levi wouldn’t be in any more pain.

I will always keep you safe…

I smiled as the rain fell harder. I’d finally done it. They’d finally be safe.

Closing my eyes, numbness taking hold, I saw Ally with her chin on her fist, her hair pushed to one side as she smiled down at me on the bed. I fucking thanked God in that second that I’d had her… that I’d had her, even if it was only for a short while. At least I got to feel what that kind of love was like, even if it was just a brief moment of time.

I tried to hold on to the picture of Ally’s face, until I couldn’t hold on to Ally’s picture no more… until everything faded to nothing.

Chapter Twenty-One

Ally

“You haven’t seen him either, Vin?”

“Not since yesterday,” he replied.

“Okay, thanks,” I said and ended the call. As I stared at the floor, a peculiar feeling turned in my stomach.

I’d waited at Axel’s studio for hours, but he didn’t show. I’d tried his cell, but the battery must have died. Vin hadn’t seen him, so I assumed he was at Austin’s house.

A whisper of a smile spread on my lips as I thought of how nervous Axel was about telling his brothers about his show, his art… what he’d been doing for years. In my purse I had their invites for the opening tomorrow night, one for Austin, Levi and Lexi. They had to be there. I still wasn’t sure if Axel would make an appearance. I’d guessed not, he was still against people knowing who he was, but his family should see his work… after all, they were the source of his inspiration.

In minutes I’d turned into Austin’s driveway and parked up my car. I rapped on the door and after a short wait in the rain, Austin opened the door.

Ducking in from the downpour, I rushed into the hallway shaking off my trench coat. “It’s damn soaking out there!” I yelled and finally looked to Austin.

His face was pale and he was staring at me with sad eyes. “You okay, Aust?” I said and glanced upstairs. Levi was walking down, his eyes rimmed with red.

My stomach fell.

“What?” I whispered. Lexi walked in from the kitchen. “What’s wrong? Where’s Axel?”

Shivers ran down my spine at the way they were all watching me, when Austin put his hand on my arm. “He ain’t who you think he is, Al.” His voice was hoarse from what sounded like hours of crying.

My gaze darted around the three of them and I asked, “What the hell are you talking about?”

“Axe,” Austin said, “He’s been pushing coke again.”

Feeling like the floor had vanished from beneath me, I said, “What? What the hell are you talking about? He would never do that again.”

Austin shook his head. “I’m sorry, Al, but it’s true. I didn’t wanna fucking believe it either, but I went down to that fish market he was working at as part of his parole and they hadn’t even heard of him. He lied, Al. He’s been lying all along.”

“No!” I said shaking my head, trying to imagine what the hell must have happened here this afternoon. Austin held up his hand.

“I found a bag of coke in his room, Al. Cocaine! He’s been dealing since he got here, and worse, he brought that shit into my house. I asked him to leave. I can’t have that shit around us no more. I can’t have my family involved in that kind of life no more.”

A mixture of dread and sympathy flooded my chest and my hand flew over my mouth. “You… you asked him to leave?”

Austin nodded his head.

“Did you even let him speak to you? Did you give him a chance to explain the coke, the market?”

Austin’s eyes dropped. When I looked to Levi he dropped his head too.

“You didn’t, did you?” I asked. Tears began filling my eyes. My God, he came here today to tell them all about his art and they’d thrown him out and accused him of dealing because they’d found a bastard bag of coke… that damn coke he’d only ever bought because he was drowning in this new life… drowning in their rejection of him, of my rejection of him.