Still Me
Page 6‘It’s worth eighty thousand dollars.’
‘Mom doesn’t care about the money.’
‘Can we discuss this later?’
‘You’ll be busy later. I promised Mom I would sort this out.’
I took a surreptitious step backwards.
‘There’s nothing to sort. The settlement was finalized eighteen months ago. It was all dealt with then. Oh, darling, there you are. Are you feeling better?’
I looked round. The woman who had just entered the room was strikingly beautiful, her face free of make-up and her pale blonde hair scraped back into a loose knot. Her high cheekbones were lightly freckled and the shape of her eyes suggested a Slavic heritage. I guessed she was about the same age as me. She padded barefoot over to Mr Gopnik and kissed him, her hand trailing across the back of his neck. ‘Much better, thank you.’
‘This is Louisa,’ he said.
She turned to me. ‘My new ally,’ she said.
‘Your new assistant,’ said Mr Gopnik.
‘Hello, Louisa.’ She reached out a slender hand and shook mine. I felt her eyes run over me, as if she were working something out, and then she smiled, and I couldn’t help but smile in return.
‘Ilaria has made your room nice?’ Her voice was soft and held an Eastern European lilt.
‘It’s perfect. Thank you.’
‘Perfect? Oh, you are very easily pleased. That room is like a broom cupboard. Anything you don’t like you tell us and we will make it nice. Won’t we, darling?’
‘Didn’t you used to live in a room even smaller than that, Agnes?’ said Tab, not looking up from her iPhone. ‘I’m sure Dad told me you used to share with about fifteen other immigrants.’
Agnes took a little breath and lifted her chin. ‘Actually, my room was smaller. But the girls I shared with were very nice. So it was no trouble at all. If people are nice, and polite, you can bear anything, don’t you think, Louisa?’
I swallowed. ‘Yes.’
Ilaria walked in and cleared her throat. She was wearing the same polo shirt and dark trousers, covered by a white apron. She didn’t look at me. ‘Dinner is ready, Mr Gopnik,’ she said.
‘Is there any for me, Ilaria darling?’ said Tab, her hand resting along the back of the sofa. ‘I think I might stay over.’
Ilaria’s expression was filled with instant warmth. It was as if a different person had appeared in front of me. ‘Of course, Miss Tabitha. I always cook extra on Sundays in case you decide to stay.’
Agnes stood in the middle of the room. I thought I saw a flicker of panic cross her face. Her jaw tightened. ‘Then I would like Louisa to eat with us too,’ she said.
There was a brief silence.
‘Louisa?’ said Tab.
‘Yes. It would be nice to get to know her properly. Do you have plans for this evening, Louisa?’
‘Uh – no,’ I stuttered.
‘Then you eat with us. Ilaria, you say you cook extra, yes?’
Ilaria looked directly at Mr Gopnik, who appeared to be engrossed in something on his phone.
‘Agnes,’ said Tab, after a moment. ‘You do understand we don’t eat with staff?’
‘Who is this “we”? I did not know that there was a rulebook.’ Agnes held out her hand and inspected her wedding band with studied calm. ‘Darling? Did you forget to give me a rulebook?’
‘I’m happy to do whatever …’ I began. ‘I don’t want to cause any …’
‘Well, with respect, Tabitha, I would like Louisa to eat supper with me. She is my new assistant and we are going to spend every day together. So I cannot see the problem in me getting to know her a little.’
‘There’s no problem,’ said Mr Gopnik.
‘Daddy –’
‘There’s no problem, Tab. Ilaria, please could you set the table for four? Thank you.’
Ilaria’s eyes widened. She glanced at me, her mouth a thin line of suppressed rage, as if I had engineered this travesty of the domestic hierarchy, then disappeared to the dining room from where we could hear the emphatic clattering of cutlery and glassware. Agnes let out a little breath and pushed her hair back from her head. She flashed me a small, conspiratorial smile.
‘Let’s go through,’ said Mr Gopnik, after a minute. ‘Louisa, perhaps you’d like a drink.’
Dinner was a hushed, painful affair. I was overawed by the grand mahogany table, the heavy silver cutlery and the crystal glasses, out of place in my uniform. Mr Gopnik was largely silent and disappeared twice to take calls from his office. Tab flicked through her iPhone, studiously declining to engage with anybody, and Ilaria delivered chicken in a red wine sauce with all the trimmings and removed serving dishes afterwards with a face, as my mother would put it, like a smacked arse. Perhaps only I noticed the hard clunk with which my own plate was placed in front of me, the audible sniff that came every time she passed my chair.
Agnes barely picked at hers. She sat opposite me and chatted gamely as if I were her new best friend, her gaze periodically sliding towards her husband.
‘So this is your first time in New York,’ she said. ‘Where else have you been?’
‘Um … not very many places. I’m sort of late to travelling. I backpacked around Europe a while ago, and before that … Mauritius. And Switzerland.’
‘America is very different. Each state has a unique feel, I think, to we Europeans. I have only been to a few places with Leonard, but it was like going to different countries entirely. Are you excited to be here?’
‘Very much so,’ I said. ‘I’m determined to take advantage of everything New York has to offer.’
‘Sounds like you, Agnes,’ said Tab, sweetly.
‘And tell me about your family. You have brothers? Sisters?’
I explained my family as best I could, making them sound a little more Waltons than Addams.
‘And your sister now lives in your apartment in London? With her son? Will she come visit you? And your parents? They will miss you?’
I thought of Dad’s parting shot: ‘Don’t hurry back, Lou! We’re turning your old bedroom into a jacuzzi!’
‘Oh, yes. Very much.’
‘My mother cried for two weeks when I left Kraków. And you have a boyfriend?’
‘Yes. His name’s Sam. He’s a paramedic.’
‘A paramedic! Like a doctor? How lovely. Please show me picture. I love to see pictures.’
I pulled my phone from my pocket and flicked through until I found my favourite picture of Sam, sitting on my roof terrace in his dark green uniform. He had just finished work, and was drinking a mug of tea, beaming at me. The sun was low behind him and I could remember, looking at it, exactly how it had felt up there, my tea cooling on the ledge behind me, Sam waiting patiently as I took picture after picture.
‘So handsome! And he is coming to New York too?’
‘Um, no. He’s building a house so it’s a bit complicated just now. And he has a job.’