Stefan's Diaries: The Ripper (The Vampire Diaries #4)
Page 13"The trouble with you, Stefan, is that you don't understand death."
I was in the bare bedroom of the carriage house in Mystic Fal s. Katherine was clad only in a nightshirt, her figure clearly visible beneath the gauzy fabric. Her dark hair was tied in a loose braid. I ached to touch the silky strands and yet hung back, afraid that once I al owed my hands to roam her body I would lose control. And I didn't want to lose control. Not yet.
"Tel me what death is then," I said. It had been in the days after my fiancee, Rosalyn, had died. Talking with Katherine had al owed me to forget my guilt and step into a world infused with a lemon-ginger scent where nothing - not my father, not Damon, not death - could touch us. It was a world that made me feel safe. Outside the window, I could see the ful moon reflecting on the pond at the edge of the estate. Al of the lights were out in the main house. There wasn't a cloud in the sky. This was my heaven.
"Where do I begin?" Katherine asked, running her tongue over her pointed teeth. I automatical y brought my hand up to my neck. It was stil tender to the touch, and a jolt of pleasure mixed with pain occurred whenever I applied pressure to the place where Katherine had sunk her fangs.
"Tel me what you know," I said, ever the eager student. I kept my eyes on her as she paced back and forth across the room, as light on her heels as a cat.
"Wel , it's in the eye of the beholder. Take your fair Rosalyn, for example," Katherine said, cocking her head and staring at me.
"What do you mean?" I'd asked. I wanted to know how Katherine had evaded death. I didn't know why she was bringing up Rosalyn. She knew I was supposed to stil be in mourning for the girl who'd never have the opportunity to be my wife. And in my own fashion, I did mourn for her.
"Wel , you remember her, right? What she looked like and what she smel ed like?" Katherine asked in a sing-song voice.
"Of course I do," I said, affronted.
"So how is she dead if she lives in your mind?" Katherine asked, widening her brown eyes at me.
I sighed at her existential meanderings. I stepped toward her, eager to stop talking.
Thankful y, Katherine took my hint. She reached toward me and teasingly grazed her canines across my neck, just enough to leave a scratch.
"That's al I'm saying, Stefan. No matter what happens, in each other, we wil live forever," she said. She sank her teeth into my skin as I closed my eyes, the world fading to black as I gave myself to her.
My eyes snapped open. I wasn't entirely surprised I'd dreamt about Katherine. When my life was going wel , it was as if al my memories of Katherine existed in an attic of my mind, one that I could go years without visiting. But when things were tough, she was everywhere. The question I stil couldn't answer was if I would ever escape her pul , or if she would always be there, lingering in the shadows.
But now wasn't the time to think about that. It was almost time to pick up Violet from the tavern and escort her to the dock party. I'd debated whether or not to let her come. I hoped the party would give me a chance to further explore where the vampire might be hiding, with a chance to fade back into the crowd should he be looking for me. And I didn't want Violet to be where the kil er could be. But then I realized that she possessed a fierce amount of determination, and would certainly attend whether or not I wanted her to.
At least I knew she would be safe with me. By making sure that one life wasn't snuffed out by evil, maybe her soul could be a grain of sand, a tiny weight to counterbalance the senseless death and destruction I'd enacted in my past.
At least I could hope.
I massaged my temples. I'd had a constant headache for the past few days, as persistent and buzzing as cicadas on a hot July day. It had only gotten worse the longer I'd been in London. I stood up and crossed over to the glass. My reflection looked pale and drawn, and my eyes were bloodshot. I looked sick, both for a human and a vampire. Reflexively, I touched my fingers to my neck, my mind drifting back to my dream. The faint breeze rustling her white nightdress, the flicker of the lamp against the whitewashed wal s, the exquisite pain of Katherine's teeth sinking into my flesh . . . everything had seemed so real. But of course, beneath the pads of my fingers was nothing except smooth skin.
Katherine had been dead - dead dead, not just mortal y dead - for twenty years. Her body had been burned in a church. And yet she was everywhere, as much a part of me as Damon. She'd been right. And back then, I'd been such a fool that I hadn't understood the implications of her words at al .
I walked to the washbasin and splashed cold water on my face, shocked by how much grime and soot disappeared in the trickle of water.
London was a filthy city. But washing the dirt from my face did nothing to scrub the blackness from my soul.
Violet was waiting at the door of the Ten Bel s, wearing the same emerald-green dress she'd worn to the theater a couple of nights ago. She'd drawn kohl liner around her eyes, and her mouth was painted a bright red. While the dress had looked lovely the night at the theater, at the tavern it looked almost garish, and it would be al too easy for her to be mistaken for one of the ladies of the night. Or worse, the ideal target for an unholy kil er.
"Ready to go?" I asked Violet as I approached, offering her my arm. She nodded and took it, tel ing me about her day at the tavern as we quickly made our way through the cobblestoned streets toward the dock. On our route several laborers whistled at Violet. I glared at them, cringing internal y. I felt like we were moving targets for anyone in our path.
As we grew closer, music drifted up from one of the warehouses. It was cheerful, dance hal music and the bustle surrounding the warehouse was at odds with the desolation I'd seen last night. London reminded me of a kaleidoscope, a child's toy Lexi had picked up once. With one twist, the picture at the other end of the tube changed, and you could never anticipate what you'd see next. I just hoped that the unfolding scenes for Violet and I would be pleasant and not macabre.
"Here we are! Stefan, come on!" Violet said, quickening her stride as she caught sight of a trio of wel -dressed men walking toward one of the dimly lit warehouses that lined the dock.
I accelerated my pace until we were even, and then lightly threaded my arm through hers, not wanting to lose sight of her once we entered the party. Several boats were bobbing in the water, and the dock was as crowded as the West End streets after a show let out. The breeze carried the sound of music and laughter toward us.
Violet and I stood outside the bolted metal door and, with a sly glance back at me, Violet brazenly raised her hand as if to knock. But before she could, the door slowly opened.
"If it isn't Miss Burns!" a smooth voice said, and I glanced up. On the other side of the door stood Samuel, wearing a white shirt buttoned to the top and a dark dinner coat hanging off his square shoulders.
"Thank you ever so much." Violet blushed and curtseyed as Samuel offered his arm to her.
"Hel o," I politely greeted Samuel. Although as far as I could tel , I'd never done anything to offend him, Samuel always seemed distant toward me. I assumed it was because of my station in life, that he could see from my cal used hands and the stubble on my cheeks that I was not used to his world. I suppose I should have simply felt happy he didn't apply that derision to Violet, but stil , the snub irritated me. Maybe I did understand a bit why Damon desperately wanted to be accepted by society.
"Stefan," Samuel said, a slight smile crossing his face. "So glad you could make it." I didn't seem to be the only one forcing myself to be polite tonight.
The air was thick with the scent of competing perfumes and cigarette smoke. Candleholders were precariously perched on any flat surface, and it was a miracle that no fires had started. Stil , the entire warehouse was dim, making it impossible to tel who was who unless you were standing right in front of them. In the corner, a band was playing a brass-heavy tune I didn't recognize that seemed to thump in rhythm with my head. I'd been wrong in worrying about Violet's dress being inappropriate. The majority of women were wearing dresses with low-cut bodices, the skirts cutting in snugly at their hips. It was a mingling of two distinct London worlds, and it seemed that here was a place where social niceties and decorum didn't matter.
Suddenly, I heard a high-pitched shriek. I whirled around, my fangs bulging, ready to attack.
But al I saw was Violet at the center of the room, hugging a tal , thin girl as if she never wanted to let her go.
"Stefan!" Violet cal ed, waving me over, her eyes shining. "See, I was right. I knew she was alive. This is Cora!" she said.
"Cora?" I asked incredulously, taking in the girl in front of me. The crowd had parted somewhat to watch the drama unfold.
Cora nodded, her pale blue eyes seeming hazy and unfocused.
"Yes," she said simply. "I'm Cora." Her voice seemed slow and syrupy. Had she been compel ed? I had no idea, no point of reference for how she usual y acted. But I felt deeply unsettled. Something wasn't right with this reunion. It was too convenient after so much searching.
"Are you al right? Where have you been?" I asked, trying not to sound like a concerned father. I didn't want to frighten her. After al , we were complete strangers. But I had to know.
Violet seemed oblivious to my questions and was stroking Cora's hair as if she were a favorite pet. "This is Stefan," Violet explained. "My new best friend. I have so much to tel you . . ." Violet spontaneously threw her arms around Cora's neck. Cora, like Charlotte, was wearing a silk scarf knotted tightly at the nape of her neck.
"Where were you?" I asked again, my concern reaching desperation. I couldn't make out Damon in the crowd of revelers, but I was sure he was close.
"Why does it matter?" Violet asked. "The main thing is, Cora's safe, isn't that true?" Violet reached behind her neck and unclasped her pendant.
I was about to tel her to keep it on when she hooked it around Cora's neck. The gold of the pendant gleamed in the candlelight.
"This is your don't-go-away present, you hear me?" Violet said, a film of tears covering her eyes. Cora nodded, but she didn't seem to be listening. She was glancing over Violet's shoulder, clearly looking for someone. And while she seemed happy to see Violet, she wasn't overjoyed and didn't seem to ful y recognize that she'd been lost.
She kept blinking and tugging the chain around her neck. I watched, entranced. Had she been compel ed?
Just then, Damon sauntered up, carrying a bottle of champagne in one hand and champagne flutes in the other. Trailing him were Samuel and a tal man with short blond hair, wearing a top hat and suit.
"I've heard that there's cause for celebration," Damon said as he suavely popped the cork from the bottle. It exploded with a festive fizzing sound, and he began pouring glasses.
"This is my sister!" Violet explained, not tearing her gaze off of Cora.
"How nice," Damon said, leering. "Family reunions are lovely. And I knew I liked something about you," Damon said, draping his arm around Violet's shoulder. "Cora joined our little group just recently as wel , a friend of Samuel's brother. Now it seems we're just keeping it al in the family!"
"This is Cora," I said angrily. "Remember?"
Damon shrugged. "Like I said, not in the newspaper, not in my mind. My memory just gets worse and worse with age!" he exclaimed.
"Shut up," I growled.
"Is that any way to talk to a brother?" Damon responded, keeping a smile on his face.
"Here here!" Samuel said, raising his glass in a toast, unaware that anything was amiss. "To families. Including my own brother, Henry," he said, gesturing to the pale, blond man standing next to him. At first glance, he seemed to be about eighteen or nineteen.
"Pleased to meet you," I said, barely managing a polite tone. But Henry's face cracked into a wide smile, and he pumped my hand enthusiastical y.
"Pleased to meet you, too," he said in an aristocratic British accent that sounded just like his brother's. But his warm and almost na?ve expression was nothing like Samuel's - and immediately I noticed him casting his gaze on Violet.
"Hel o," he said warmly.
Violet turned to him, her upturned face ful of interest. I knew what I was witnessing was the lightning-quick passage of emotions that humans took for granted - the moments at which a stranger became something more, became someone a human could imagine growing old with. In the shadowy darkness, there was no way Henry could tel Violet was a waitress. Violet was speaking in her wel -modulated actress voice, and her new dress betrayed none of the stains of the Ten Bel s. This is a remarkable age. Just like George had told me, maybe Violet truly could transcend her class and find happiness. She deserved it.
Even though Cora had been found and seemed none the worse for the wear, I knew I couldn't leave until I cracked the mystery. Why was Damon being so cagey? There was no way he wasn't somehow involved with the murders. The question was, what had he done? And who had he done it with?
I looked at Henry and Violet again. They were engaged in conversation, their heads bowed as if they'd known each other for years. At least Violet was preoccupied and with someone safe, which gave me the chance I needed to search the party for the mysterious vampire who'd eluded me last night.
Moving through the crowded party proved fruitless. Girls so drunk they could hardly stand up were pawing at me, and the noise of the band overloaded my senses. I stepped outside the warehouse, thinking I would try to find the door he ran through last night. Perhaps he'd left something behind.
It was the scent of blood - warm, coursing, and close.
I gnashed my teeth together. The scent made me simultaneously eager to feed and nervous. The kil er must be one of the revelers inside the party. But who was he? Or - and this was the thought that fil ed me with terror - had he already made his move, and the fragrance in the air was a fresh kil ?
That possibility was what spurred me to race back inside the warehouse, tearing through the crowd, desperate to find the source of the scent. I didn't have any time to waste. It was as if I'd lived through the same scenario far too many times, always coming to the scene half a second, half a minute, or half a day late. But this time would be different, I thought wildly as I pushed past a dancing couple, the man whirling a woman faster and faster on his arm. I was no longer a "baby vampire," a term Lexi derisively used to use to describe me. I had wisdom, age, and blood behind me.
This time, I would stop evil before it started.
The warehouse was deceptively large, and I was shocked that the space kept going and going, each inch of concrete floor fil ed with people laughing, smoking, and drinking as if they didn't have a care in the world.
"Pardon me!" I yel ed in frustration, elbowing my way through couples and treading on people's shoes, only fol owing the ever more pungent scent of iron - until I ran into a solid mass.
I looked up. It was Samuel. Instantly, I stood to my ful height and gave him a tight smile. I knew that careening through the warehouse must have made me seem drunk or mad.
"Pardon you!" Samuel said jovial y, tipping back his whiskey. "You seem to be in a hurry," he added, a flicker of amusement on his face.
"I'm looking for a friend," I muttered, my eyes darting from one side to the other. I realized I hadn't seen Violet while I was running around. Now not only was I searching for a kil er, but for an innocent girl as wel . I had to make sure she was safe.
"Consider him here!" he said jovial y, blocking my path.
"Not you," I said, realizing only after the words left my mouth how rude they seemed. "I mean, I'm looking for Violet."
"Violet!" His eyes lit up in recognition. "Of course. I thought I saw her over by the bar . . . would you like to go with me?" I didn't bother to be polite as I took off toward the bar, desperately scanning the crowd. It thinned out as I ran, and final y, I could stand without being bumped or jostled. I al owed my eyes to readjust to the dim light. The far side of the warehouse had two open doors that led to the docks, and, beyond that, the water. The doors had been propped open with several wooden milk crates, presumably to al ow fresh air in. Stil , while the rest of the warehouse was crammed, this part was unlit and deserted. I could smel cobwebs and mold.
And blood.
Outside, the clouds shifted, and a shaft of moonlight reflected through the filthy windows at one end of the warehouse. My eyes fel upon a crumpled heap in the corner. At first, I hoped it was nothing more than a discarded pile of fabric, pushed aside for the party. But it wasn't. The material was bright green.
I blanched, already knowing what I'd see before I turned the figure over.
But when I did, I stil couldn't hold in my strangled cry.
It was Violet, her throat slit, her inquisitive blue eyes gazing, unblinking, at the throng of people dancing only yards away from her cold, white figure.