Silver Shadows

She sighed and leaned back into her seat. “I don’t. Or of you using spirit for anything. But these are kind of unusual circumstances we’re facing. Maybe once this is all over, and we’re settled, you can go back on your pills.”

“You wouldn’t be with me now if I’d stayed on those pills,” I said quietly.

“I know . . . and you know I’m grateful. The spirit issue is one we’ll have to deal with again sometime, but . . .”

“Right now we have bigger problems?” I finished.

“Nothing’s bigger to me than you,” she said firmly. “How have you been feeling? You said in one of our dreams that you stopped the pills as soon as I was gone. How has that been? You seem like you’re doing well, like you have the mood swings under control.”

There was a note of hope in her voice, and I couldn’t bear to tell her that the reason I had the mood swings under control was because they’d been replaced instead by a delusion of my dead aunt.

“I’m alive and well here, aren’t I?” I said glibly. “Don’t try to change the subject. You’ve gone through a hell of a lot more than me.”

“We don’t need to talk about it now,” she said.

We fell into silence, both of us keeping our own secrets of what we’d suffered in the other’s absence. I wondered if we were trying to protect each other or simply didn’t want to admit to our own fears and weaknesses. Not that I thought Sydney was weak in the least. But I’d seen her aura when we were back at the re-education center, around the other Alchemists, and there was definitely an edge of fear surrounding her and the other detainees. I knew she probably thought that was a failing.

“Well,” I said, trying to cheer her up. “At least open your presents.”

“You got me a ‘congratulations on getting out of re-education’ gift?” she asked.

“Not exactly. Just check the bag that’s over there.”

She did, exclaiming in surprise as she opened it. “My God! If I’d had these amulets in re-education, it would’ve made things a heck of a lot—Hopper!”

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw her lift the little golden dragon. When she spoke again, I thought she might start crying.

“Oh, Hopper. I’ve thought about him, you know. I wondered what had happened to him and what he must be going through. . . .” She started to speak the words of a spell and then stopped. “He’ll be hungry. Let’s wait until we get some food. I wouldn’t mind a real meal myself.”

“That I can accommodate even without hitting the poker tables,” I told her. “What are you in the mood for? Steak? Sushi? Name it, and it’s yours.”

She laughed. “Nothing that fancy for me. I don’t think my stomach could take it just yet after—” Her laughter faded.

“After what?” I asked quietly.

“Later,” she said. “We’ll talk about it later.”

I sighed. “So we keep saying. When is later going to be?”

“When we’re more than a few minutes out from the Alchemist holding facility,” she returned. “We need to focus on this escape.”

She had a point, but that didn’t mean I liked it. In fact, it troubled me more and more as the drive continued, not knowing the full extent of what she’d been through. She was quick to tell me she loved me and had missed me and that nothing made her happier than being with me again. I believed all of that, but it didn’t mean I could so easily let the past go.

Aunt Tatiana whispered: Are you sure that’s true? Maybe you don’t actually want to know what happened to her. You saw a glimpse of what it was like in there. Do you want confirmation of the atrocities she suffered?

If Sydney was able to endure it, then the least I can do is handle hearing about it, I silently retorted. And yet . . . I wondered if my phantom aunt had a point.

We crossed into Nevada about an hour and a half later, with no sign of pursuit. We did, however, get a call from Marcus just as we were pulling into a small hotel with an adjacent casino.

“Did you get lost?” asked Marcus. He didn’t sound mad exactly, but something in his tone told me he knew perfectly well that we had not, in fact, gotten lost.

“More like we took a detour,” I said cheerfully.

He groaned. “Adrian, we hashed this out! Everything’s gone perfectly until now. Why would you even think about deviating from the plan?”

“Um, because that’s how we roll?”

Sydney took the phone from me before I could offer any more compelling explanations. She used the same arguments she’d made with me, though Marcus wasn’t as swayed by her beautiful eyes as I was. It was clear he wasn’t won over by the end of the call, and Sydney finally ended it with a vague, “We’ll be in touch.”

I offered to take her out for a nice dinner, but she didn’t even want to go to the hotel’s front desk in her khaki clothes, let alone a public meal. I checked us in and discovered I had enough cash for a small suite. It wasn’t anything glamorous—certainly nowhere near as posh as the place she and I had stayed when snowed in in Pennsylvania—but it had a separate bedroom and larger bathroom than the hotel’s regular rooms. Maybe I didn’t know all the details of what she’d gone through, but I knew enough to say she deserved an upgrade.

The look on her face when she sat on the bed confirmed as much. It was just average to me, but from her delighted sigh, you’d think it was made of angel wing feathers. She stretched out on it and closed her eyes.