Silence

I didn’t know how long I’d been out. Ten minutes? Half an hour? My skin was covered in a sheen of sweat, and this time my shivers were from the cold.

“Jev?” I called out hoarsely.

But he was gone.

CHAPTER 12

FOLLOWING JEV’S INSTRUCTIONS, I WALKED TO Whitetail Lodge. From the reception desk, I called a taxi. Even if I hadn’t known my mom was at dinner, I might not have called her. I wasn’t in any condition to talk. My head was filled with too much noise. Thoughts whizzed past, but I made no effort to pin them down. I felt myself shutting down, too overwhelmed to sort through everything that had happened tonight.

At the farmhouse, I climbed the stairs to my bedroom. I stripped down. I stretched a nightshirt over my head. I curled into a fetal position under my blankets and fell asleep.

I was snapped awake by the sound of shoes moving at a brisk clip outside my door. I must have been dreaming of Jev, because my first foggy thought was, It’s him, and I clutched the sheet to my chin, bracing myself for his entrance.

My mom flung the door open so hard it slapped the wall. “She’s here!” she called over her shoulder. “She’s in bed!” She crossed to me, clutching a fist over her heart as though to keep it from leaping out of her chest. “Nora! Why didn’t you tell me where you’d gone? We’ve been driving all over town looking for you!” She was panting, her eyes wild and frantic.

“I told the hostess to tell you I called Vee for a ride,” I stammered. Thinking back, it had been an irresponsible move. But caught up in the moment, seeing how my mom glowed in Hank’s company, all I could think of was how my presence was an intrusion.

“I called Vee! She didn’t know what I was talking about.” Of course she didn’t. I’d never made it that far. Gabe had come along before I’d had a chance.

“You can’t do that again,” Mom said. “You can’t ever do that again!” Even though I knew it wouldn’t help, I started crying. I hadn’t meant to frighten her or send her chasing randomly after me. It was just that when I saw her with Hank … I’d reacted. And as much as I wanted to believe Gabe was out of my life for good, his implied threat that he wasn’t finished with me was fresh in my thoughts. What had I gotten myself into? I considered how different the night would have turned out if I’d kept quiet and left the 7-Eleven when Gabe had given me the chance.

No. I’d done the right thing. If I hadn’t stepped in, B.J. might not have survived.

“Oh, Nora.”

I let my mom gather me against her and pressed my face into her blouse.

“This was just a bad scare, that’s all,” she said. “We’ll be more careful next time.” The boards in the hall creaked, and I looked over to see Hank leaning on the door frame. “You gave us quite a fright, young lady.” His voice was light and calm, but there was something almost wolfish in his eyes that caused a chil to tiptoe up my back.

“I don’t want him here,” I whispered to my mom. Even though I was sure there was no validity to my most recent hallucination, it haunted me. I couldn’t stop picturing Hank tugging the canvas off the cage. I couldn’t shut out the words he’d said. Logically, I knew I was projecting my own fears and anxieties on him, but either way, I wanted him to leave.

“I’ll call you later, Hank,” Mom said reassuringly over the top of my head. “After I tuck Nora in.

Thank you again for dinner, and I’m sorry about the false alarm.” He gestured it off. “Don’t fret, darling. You forget I have my own hormonal drama queen under my roof, though at least I can say she’s never done anything this rash.” He chuckled, as if he genuinely found any word he’d said amusing.

I waited until I heard his footsteps retreat down the hall. I wasn’t sure how much to tell my mom, especially since Jev said the police couldn’t be counted on and I feared that everything I said now would reach Detective Basso’s ears, but too much had happened tonight not to tell anyone.

“I met someone tonight,” I told my mom. “After I left Cooper-smith’s. I didn’t recognize him, but he said we knew each other. I must have met him sometime in the last five months, but I can’t remember.”

Her hold on me grew taut. “Did he tell you his name?”

“Jev.”

She’d been holding her breath, but now a little slip of air escaped. I wondered what it meant. Had she expected a different name?

“Do you know him?” I asked. Maybe she would be able to shed light on my history with Jev.

“No. Did he say how he knew you? From school, maybe? Or when you worked at Enzo’s?” I’d worked at Enzo’s? This was news to me, and I was about to get clarification, when her eyes snapped back to mine. “Wait. What was he wearing?” She gestured impatiently. “What did his clothes look like?”

I felt my forehead crease in confusion. “Why does it matter?” She stood, then paced to the door and back to the bed. As if suddenly aware of how anxious she looked, she parked herself in front of my dresser and nonchalantly examined a perfume bottle.

“Maybe he was wearing a uniform with a logo? Or maybe he was dressed entirely in one color? Like

… black?” She was clearly leading me, but why?

“He was wearing a white-and-navy baseball shirt with jeans.” Worry lines formed clear parentheses around her mouth, which was tightly pursed in thought.

“What aren’t you telling me?” I asked.

The worry lines spread to her eyes.

“What do you know?” I demanded.

“There was a boy,” she began.

I sat up a little taller. “What boy?” I couldn’t help but wonder if she was talking about Jev. And I found myself hoping she was. I wanted to know more about him. I wanted to know everything about him.

“He came around a few times. He always dressed in black,” she said with obvious distaste. “He was older and—please don’t take this the wrong way, but I couldn’t figure out what he saw in you.

He’d dropped out of school, he had a gambling problem, and he worked as a busboy at the Borderline. I mean, for goodness’ sake! I have nothing against busboys, but it was almost laughable.

As if he thought you were going to stay in Coldwater forever. He couldn’t begin to relate to your dreams, let alone keep up with them. I’d be very surprised if he had the determination to go to college.”

“Did I like him?” Her description didn’t sound like Jev, but I wasn’t ready to give up just yet.

“Hardly! You had me make excuses every time he called. Eventually he got the picture and left you alone. The whole thing was very short-lived. A couple of weeks at most. I only brought him up because I always thought something about him was off. And I always wondered if he might have known something about your abduction. Not to be dramatic, but it seemed like a dark cloud settled over your life the day you met him.”

“What happened to him?” I realized my heart was pounding in double time.

“He left town.” She shook her head. “See? It couldn’t have been him. I panicked, that’s all. I wouldn’t worry about him,” she added, coming over and patting my knee. “He’s probably halfway across the country by now.”

“What was his name?”

She hesitated only a moment. “You know, I don’t remember. Something with a P. Peter, maybe.” She laughed louder than necessary. “I guess that proves just how insignificant he was.” I smiled absently at her joke, all the while hearing Jev’s voice rumble through my mind.

I smiled absently at her joke, all the while hearing Jev’s voice rumble through my mind.

We knew each other. We met five months ago, and I was bad news from the moment you laid eyes on me.

If Jev and this mysterious boy from my past were one and the same, someone wasn’t giving me the full story. Maybe Jev was trouble. Maybe it was in my best interest to sprint in the opposite direction.

But something told me it wasn’t because he was the hardened and indifferent person he was trying so hard to convince me he was. Right before the hallucination, I’d heard him say, You’re not supposed to be in this anymore. Even I can’t keep you safe.

My safety meant something to him. His actions tonight proved it. And actions speak louder than words, I told myself grimly.

Which left only two questions. What wasn’t I supposed to be involved in anymore? And given the two—Jev and my mom—who was lying?

If they thought I was quite content to sit with my hands in my lap, the perfect model of a sweet, uninformed little girl, they weren’t as smart as they thought.

CHAPTER 13

SATURDAY MORNING I WOKE EARLY, TUGGED ON cotton shorts and a tank, and went running. It felt strangely empowering to pound my feet against the pavement and sweat out all my immediate troubles. I was doing my best not to think about last night. So much for testing my courage by wandering around alone at night—as far as I was concerned, from now on, I’d be perfectly happy to stay locked up in my house the moment the moon showed its face. And if I never had to visit that particular 7-Eleven again, so much the better.

Strangely enough, it wasn’t Gabe who was haunting my thoughts, though. That job belonged to a pair of sinfully black eyes that had lost their edge when they studied me, turning as soft and sultry as silk. Jev had told me not to go looking for him, but I couldn’t stop fantasizing about all the different ways we might bump into each other again. In fact, the last dream I recalled before waking up this morning was of going to Ogunquit Beach with Vee, only to discover that Jev was the on-duty lifeguard. I’d pulled out of the dream with my heart thumping, and the strangest ache shredding me up inside. I could interpret the dream well enough myself: Despite the infuriated, tangled way he’d left me feeling, I wanted to see Jev again.

The sky was overcast, keeping the air cool, and after my stopwatch beeped to signal three miles, I gave it a smug smile and challenged myself to one more, not quite ready to give up my private thoughts about Jev. That, and I was enjoying myself immeasurably. I’d gone to spinning classes and Zumba at the gym with Vee, but out in the clean air, saturated with the smells of pine and dewy tree bark, I decided that hands down, I preferred sweating outdoors. After a while, I even tugged out my earbuds, allowing me to concentrate on the peaceful sounds of nature rising out of dawn.

At home I took a long, luxurious bath, then stood in front of my closet, biting the tip of my fingernail as I studied my wardrobe. In the end, I zipped myself into skinny jeans and tugged on kneehigh boots and a turquoise silk camisole. Vee would remember the outfit, since she was the one who’d persuaded me to buy it during last summer’s sidewalk sales. Scrutinizing myself in the mirror, I decided I passed as the same old Nora Grey. One step in the right direction, only a thousand or so more to go. I was a little worried what Vee and I would talk about, especially given the glaring issue of my kidnapping, but I reassured myself that that was what made Vee and me so compatible. I could strategically steer our conversation by raising certain subjects, and Vee could blather on forever about them. I just had to make sure I got her talking about what I wanted.