Shadowspell

“Then say you’ll give me a chance. Give me a chance to prove you’re way more important to me than sex. I’d rather have you without the sex than any of the girls I’ve been with before with the sex.”

His words were perfect, and yet … I’m a realist at heart. I wasn’t going to fool myself into believing Ethan and I had a shot in the long run. No matter what he said, I knew he wouldn’t be satisfied with me forever under the circumstances. I would save myself a world of future pain if I could just find the courage to end this now. All I had to do was ignore the longing Ethan stirred in me. Ignore the way looking at him made my heart flutter and my skin heat. Ignore the intoxicating reality of being wanted by a guy who I’d thought was out of my league.

I couldn’t do it. No amount of common sense or willpower could convince me to say no to Ethan. Maybe I couldn’t have him forever. But I could have him for now, and that would have to be enough.

Without answering him in words, I settled myself back into Ethan’s embrace and turned my face up toward his. His shoulders sagged in relief, and his eyes shone with emotion. He lowered his head to mine, and when our lips touched, all my worries and cares faded into the background where I could pretend to ignore them. I vowed I would make the most of whatever time we had together, and I told myself that the inevitable heartbreak wouldn’t hurt so badly because I was prepared for it.

Maybe I’m not as much of a realist as I’d like to think.