Shadowspell

When his lips touched mine, I couldn’t help the little gasp that escaped me. His lips were so soft and warm, his touch delicate without being tentative. It was the lightest of kisses, a bare brushing of lips, and yet it tingled through every nerve in my body.

“More,” I whispered against his mouth, and he obliged me by deepening the kiss. My arms tightened around him, fingers kneading his back as I opened my mouth and invited him in.

The little moan that escaped him when he took his first taste sent a thrill through me from head to toe. His hands were no longer on the wall. One cupped the side of my face, holding my head at just the right angle to receive his kiss. The other rested on my waist, right above the waistband of my jeans. As his tongue began exploring the inside of my mouth, the hand on my waist began stroking up and down my side. His thumb brushed against the side of my breast with each stroke, and it didn’t even occur to me to mind.

Feeling uncommonly bold, I skimmed my hands down his back until I found the edge of his T-shirt, then slipped them underneath until I found bare skin. His body was deliciously warm, his skin soft as silk. His breath hitched at the touch, but it was nothing that even vaguely resembled a protest.

I guess Ethan was feeling pretty bold, too, because his hand moved from my side to my front. He was still stroking up and down, moving slowly, making sure I had plenty of time to realize where that hand was headed and put a stop to things. But I didn’t.

My back arched almost against my will when his hand cupped my breast. The touch was muffled by the sweater, shirt, and bra, but that didn’t stop my nipples from tightening into hard little buds, nor did it stop the heat that gathered in my center.

Ethan’s movements were less controlled now. His lips pressed against mine almost too hard, and he was no longer satisfied to feel me with so many layers between us. His hands bunched in the sweater and the shirt, shoving both up practically to my chin and exposing my bra.

He moved a little too fast for me, fast enough to let my mind clear for half a second while I tried to decide whether this was going too far. That half a second was all I needed to bring my common sense back on line.

Something was wrong with Ethan, I remembered suddenly. Kimber had noticed it, and I’d seen it, too, when he’d first yanked me in the door. Now was not the time for us to be exploring our mutual attraction, no matter what our bodies wanted. Ethan had tried to take advantage of me once before, and I worried that in his current state, he might not do too well at controlling himself if I let things get out of hand.

His hands had slipped around to my back as he tried to unhook my bra, but though a part of me was more than willing to take another step into the wild side, the wiser part of me stayed in control. I couldn’t talk with his tongue in my mouth, so I settled for putting my hands on his chest and giving him a push.

Ethan made a sound deep in his throat, half growl, half groan, and though he stopped fumbling with my bra clasp, he didn’t take his hands away, nor did he stop kissing me. There was no denying the arousal that lingered in my blood, but now that I’d started thinking again, I couldn’t shut that part of my brain back down.

I had a lot of reasons not to fully trust Ethan, but even so I didn’t believe he’d force me to do anything I didn’t want to do. My fear was that his powers of persuasion and my own desires would once again sweep my common sense away and I would forget why I had to stop. And I did have to stop. After all, my agreement with the Erlking meant I couldn’t go all the way without losing Ethan forever.

It was only at that moment that I really understood just how insidious the agreement was. If somehow all the problems between us melted away and I wanted to sleep with Ethan, I’d have to go to Arawn’s bed first. Call me crazy, but I didn’t think Ethan—or any other boy, for that matter—was going to like that idea. I was so screwed. In a manner of speaking.

I pushed harder on Ethan’s chest, the mood now completely spoiled by my train of thought. The gesture would probably have been more convincing if I could have stopped myself kissing back, but it felt so damn good … This, I decided, was my first real kiss, a kiss untainted by magic.

I made a murmur of protest as I kept trying to push Ethan away. If he’d persisted even a moment longer, I was sure I’d find the willpower to turn my head, but he finally decided my “stop” signal took precedence over my “go” signal. He tore his mouth from mine, and I had a moment to register the look of frustrated anger on his face as he took a step backward and turned away from me.

I was being a total tease, even though I didn’t mean to be. I opened my mouth to say something to smooth things over, but no words came to me. I didn’t think explaining the sacrifice I’d had to make to win Ethan’s freedom would improve the situation.

“I’m sorry,” I finally said, feeling wretched as I pulled my shirt and sweater back down.

Ethan turned back to me abruptly, his eyes wide with surprise. “What on earth for?”

I blinked stupidly. He looked like he meant it, but I hadn’t imagined the anger I’d seen on his face before he’d turned away. “I didn’t mean to lead you on,” I said in a tiny voice that hardly sounded like my own. It wasn’t like me to be this tentative, but nothing in my life up till now had prepared me for dealing with Ethan.

He reached out and put both hands on my shoulders, giving them a firm squeeze. “You didn’t do anything wrong.” Again, he radiated sincerity.

“Then why were you so angry?”