Seth & Greyson
Page 37“I can’t just forget it,” he says, looking as though his head is spinning. “It just feels like things are moving super fast… I don’t know… I just think I need a break to catch up.”
I swallow the lump in my throat. “Well, at least call me when you hit the road, okay? And when you get to Callie’s house, too. I want to know you made it there safe.” Feeling like I’ve been punched in the stomach, I shove the door open and climb out of the car.
I don’t know why, but I half-expect him to chase after me. Instead, he pulls away, leaving me feeling as though my heart has been ripped out of my chest.
Chapter 15
Seth
I fucked up. Like really, really fucked up, worse than I ever have. When Greyson said that he loved me, I freaking panicked and clammed up, my voice catching in my throat as I remembered the last time I uttered those words to a guy.
I love Greyson. Deep down, I think I‘ve known it for a while, just like I know now that I never truly loved Braiden. I fooled myself into believing it was love because he was my first boyfriend. But he wasn’t even that, really. Braiden was just a guy I kissed because I thought he was hot.
Yes, Greyson is super fucking hot, but he’s so much more than that. So much more.
God, what the fuck is wrong with me? I told him I need a break when that’s the last damn thing I want. What I need is to be with him completely. I’m just so Goddamn scared to open myself up like that again. Everything’s moving so fast that I can hardly keep up. First we come so close to having sex, something I’ve never done before. Then he tells me that he loves me… I feel dizzy just thinking about it all, but a good kind of dizzy. The kind of dizzy that means deep down, I want what he’s offering me.
We’re in San Diego, of all places. I ended up here when Luke, Kayden, Callie, and I all decided to flee their hometown and take a break from… Well, life. Deep down, though, I know I’m here because I’m running away from my problems.
“I’m fine,” I assure her, checking my messages for like the hundredth time.
Greyson’s hardly texted me since we parted ways, and I don’t blame him. The look on his face… God, that look. It’s what haunts my dreams at night.
I put my phone into my pocket as Luke leaves the table to go get drinks. I’m dying for a cigarette, but the place is solely no smoking.
Callie wrings her hands on her lap then starts picking at her nails. “Seth, you’re not fine.”
I take out my phone again, secretly willing Greyson to text me back, but the phone remains silent. “I haven’t talked to Greyson since yesterday,” I finally give in and divulge. “I think he might be upset with me.”
She rests her arms on top of the table. “Why?”
I shrug. “Because I might have said something mean about our relationship.”
“Like I wanted a break.” I sigh when she frowns at me in disappointment. “Don’t look at me like that. I didn’t mean it. I was tired and overthinking things and… I didn’t mean it.”
She keeps frowning at me the same way. “Did you tell him that?”
“Not yet,” I tell her, disappointed in myself. Everything had been going just beautifully and I had to go and fuck it up. All I had to do was open my mouth and speak the truth, something I’m usually good at. But nooo, I had to pick that exact moment to become Speechless Seth. “But I’m working up to an apology.”
“Seth.” She lays a hand on my arm. “Since when do you hold things in? You should never do that… it’s not healthy.”
She’s sooo quoting me, which I find both amusing and tragic. How can I give all this fantastic advice and refuse to take it myself?
I look at Kayden, who’s watching us, before snagging Callie’s sleeve and tugging her to her feet. “Come with me for a minute,” I say as I drag her to the bathroom, not wanting an audience when I admit what’s really going on.
I push through the crowd of people and make my way back to the ladies’ room. “Okay, I think I might have messed up,” I spill my guts to Callie the moment the door slams shut.
A few woman are primping like divas in front of the mirror, but they’re all too drunk to care much that I’m in here
I nod, rubbing my hand down my face. “I panicked.”
“I’m familiar with the term,” she says dryly. “But what did you panic about?”
“About—” I lower my voice and move aside as the door swings open and a herd of women come stumbling in. One shoots me a dirty look and I return it before fixing my attention on Callie again. “About our relationship.”
“Your’s and Greyson’s?”
“Yeah, I think I’m having flashbacks.”
The women around us are being nosy little biotches, so I grab Callie’s hand and pull her into the handicapped stall. Locking the door, I let go of her arm and rake my fingers through my hair, deciding exactly how much I should tell her.
“Seth, whatever it is, please just tell me,” she pleads. “You know you can tell me anything.”
I pull a wary face, knowing I’m about to make her uncomfortable. “It’s about intimacy.”