Saving Lawson

That day would never come.

She busied herself after that, cleaning up his toys and packing the baby bag. I kept my emotions at bay, not wanting to see how much she hurt me. It was times like these I wished I’d stayed away from her.

I settled Kayden in the stroller and layered the blankets over top of him. Mom handed me the bag on my way out. Then she leaned over the stroller and kissed Kayden’s hand, looking down at him with tender eyes I’d have killed for when I was a kid. See, this is why I couldn’t sever ties with her. It would be unfair on Kayden. He deserved to know his grandmother, especially when she treated him so wonderfully.

“You know,” she mused reflectively, “it’s good this boy has Lawson all over him. He’s beautiful to look at. I’d hate to have seen too much Wallace in there.”

And that right there was the reason she loathed me. She saw Dad in me, and after he took his life away, it was a bad thing to look like the man that destroyed her. She was betrayed by his suicide, and I didn’t blame her. I never knew my father was depressed and clearly she didn’t either. But in Heath’s own words: it still didn’t excuse her acting like a cunt to me.

“What’s wrong with Wallace?” I found myself asking. “You make it seem like it’s shameful for being related to Dad.”

Her eyes turned frosty as she looked at me. “It’s shameful that he took his life away.”

“Clearly he had issues that he couldn’t bring to you. I don’t blame him either.”

She pursed her lips and glared. “If you’re trying to start an argument, Allie, then you’re wasting my time. I’ve looked after Kayden and now my job is done.”

I ignored her. After everything she’d said, why was I meant to be the one to hold my tongue? Instead, I gestured to the house and vented out, “Why should I allow Kayden to be in this house if he’ll never see a picture of his grandfather? You’ve taken all the frames down of us together, like you’re trying to wipe him from existence, but he was here, Mom, and you’re never going to change that.”

“Don’t threaten me using your grandson, Allie,” she sharply retorted, but I could hear the pain in her voice regardless of how much she disguised her emotions.

I sighed and shoved away the anger. What was wrong with me? I didn’t want to stoop to her level. I had to get out of here.

“See you later, Mom,” I told her, retreating back to my niceness even if it was the last thing I wanted to do. “Hope you have a good day.”

She didn’t reply, and her hard eyes followed me out the door until I was well out of view. When I heard the door slam shut, I quickened my pace to the bus stop. I needed to get away before memories of this shithole neighbourhood started coming at me. Fuck my mother. Fuck her indifference. It was just something I needed to come to terms with.

I slowed down a pace when I passed the house Matt disappeared into. Out front, sitting on a porch chair, was a middle aged with greying dark hair. He smiled brightly at me, and I waved a hello, wondering if I should introduce myself. He didn’t seem like a crabby man with a smile like that, but then again, Mom was nice to everybody else but me. Maybe it was the same for Matt.

God, some people were just dickheads, weren’t they?

Interrupting my thoughts, my phone buzzed in my pocket. I dug it out and quickly swiped the screen to read the text.

Because I’ve had so much overtime lately, I’ve decided to take the afternoon off. I need my dose of Allison Wallace. By the way, I have a surprise. If you’re not home yet, let me know where you are and I’ll pick you up. I’m heading off in five.

I smiled my first real smile of the day. My heart warmed. Heath took the afternoon off just to spend time with us. I was hungry for his company and bursting with excitement. I was about to respond when he sent another text immediately after that.

By the way, if you are at home, I better find you in bed naked on all fours. I owe you a few orgasms.

Six

Heath

“Can I look yet?” she asked for the tenth time, smiling widely as I led her up the steps and into the house. All the while my hands were over her eyes, knowing for sure she was the type that peeked.

“No fucking way,” I answered. “It took me a long time to surprise you. I’m going to need a medal and an endless supply of foot massages after this.”

“Then it better be good.”

I chuckled and kissed her shoulder, pulling her ample ass against my front. I leaned into her ear and whispered, “Al, it’s better than good.”

I took her in until we were in the centre of the room. I dropped my hands from her eyes and stepped back from her, halting beside Kayden asleep in his car seat on the hardwood floor.

“You can look now,” I said.

I didn’t see her open her eyes, but I knew when she did because her head moved from side to side, taking in the room. She looked about the empty house with furrowed brows, glancing over her shoulder at me in apparent confusion. Smiling softly, I soaked up her confusion, especially as it began to dawn on her.

“Really?” she finally let out, turning around to face me. Those bright blue eyes stood out against her pale skin, staring at me with hope that this really was happening. She looked like a goddess to me, this sweet, beautiful woman with a heart of gold. I wanted to give her the world, but all I could manage at this moment was the house.

“Really,” I replied. “It was the last rental on this block. When I saw it online, I jumped on it immediately. You have to be quick around here. It’s four blocks from your school, and only fifteen minutes from my work. If I speak with my boss, I can arrange to drop you off and pick you up when you need it. I’m close enough, and I’d be more comfortable with you not taking the bus as often.”

She didn’t say anything. She stared hard at me with disbelief. For a second I thought I’d upset her. But then her eyes misted over and I knew she was happy. The apartment had been too small for us, and I didn’t want to be reminded of Ryker every fucking turn I took in it. I wanted a place that was untouched by him. One where I could make new memories with Allie and not have to think of them both together…

I shrugged away the thoughts. They were poisonous thoughts. I relaxed my clenched fists and focused on her happiness. She explored the house, and I followed after her.

“Three bedrooms,” she said in disbelief, stepping into the master bedroom.  “This one is huge.”