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Sanine

Page 189

"Then of what is it?" asked Sina. Her voice faltered, and she looked

downwards, fearing to offend her companion.

"That I don't know; but a man has no right to behave like a brute," was

the indignant rejoinder.

For some time they walked along without speaking. Sina was grieved at

what seemed their momentary estrangement, at this breaking of their

spiritual bond which to her was so sweet, while Yourii felt that he had

not expressed himself clearly, and this wounded his self-respect.

Soon afterwards they parted, she being sad and somewhat hurt. Yourii

noticed her dejection, and was morbidly pleased thereat, as if he had

revenged himself on some one he loved for a gross personal insult.

At home his ill-humour was increased. During dinner Lialia repeated

what Riasantzeff had told her about Soloveitchik. As the men were

removing the corpse, several urchins had called out: "Ikey's hanged himself! Ikey's hanged himself!"

Nicolai Yegorovitch laughed loudly, and made her say: "Ikey's hanged himself," over and over again.

Yourii shut himself up in his room, and, while correcting his pupil's

exercises, he thought: "How much of the brute there is in every man! For such dull-witted

beasts is it worth while to suffer and to die?"

Then, ashamed of his intolerance, he said to himself.

"They are not to blame. They don't know what they are doing. Well,

whether they know or not, they're brutes, and nothing else!"

His thoughts reverted to Soloveitchik.

"How lonely is each of us in this world! There was poor Soloveitchik,

great of heart, living in our midst ready to make any sacrifice, and to

suffer for others. Yet nobody, any more than I did, noticed him or

appreciated him. In fact, we despised him. That was because he could

not express himself, and his anxiety to please only had an irritating

effect, though, in reality he was striving to get into closer touch

with all of us, and to be helpful and kind. He was a saint, and we

looked upon him as a fool!"

So keen was his sense of remorse that he left his work, and restlessly

paced the room. At last he sat down at the table, and, opening the

Bible, read as follows: "As the cloud is consumed and vanisheth away, so he that goeth down to

the grave shall come up no more."

"He shall return no more to his house, neither shall his place know him

any more."

"How true that is! How terrible and inevitable!" he thought.

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