Safe at Last
Page 81“I didn’t keep my promise to you.”
He had to look away as a single tear burned its way down the cheek he now hid.
“I promised you that you would be my first. That I would come to you as untouched as you were. You are giving me the most precious gift a man can ever hope to receive. You’re honoring me as the first man you’re allowing to make love to you. And I can’t even say you’re the second or third woman I’ve been with.”
He closed his eyes, causing more liquid to slide down his face.
“Zack,” she whispered. She gripped his hands tighter. “Zack, look at me please.”
He slowly turned his head to meet her gaze and saw mirroring tears and emotion in her eyes.
“Did you ever give any of those women your heart?” she asked softly.
“No,” he said emphatically, his tone harsher than he intended. God, to even think for a moment that any other woman than Gracie had ever held a piece of his heart. “Never.”
She smiled and then leaned up until she was straining to reach his height and gently wiped the wet trail from his cheek. He wrapped his arms around her, gathering her tightly against him, lifting so she wasn’t at such a height disadvantage.
“Just like always,” she said, wrapping her arms loosely around his neck. “You holding me up. Never letting me fall. Always protecting me from the world.”
She lovingly cupped his jaw and stared back at him, so much love shining in her warm brown eyes that it nearly undid him.
“You never gave your heart to another woman but me,” she said, her eyes growing as serious as her tone. “You never gave them a part of your soul as you’ve done with me.”
“Not just a part,” he said adamantly. “All of it, Gracie. My heart, soul, body and mind. I never gave to anyone else what was yours to keep.”
“Then I fail to see how you broke your promise to me.”
For a moment he couldn’t even breathe. His vision blurred and he pulled her even closer so his face was buried in her hair and her head lay against his cheek. He inhaled her sweet scent and held it for as long as he could before allowing it to escape his body.
“I love you,” he said, his voice breaking up under the weight of so much emotion. “I’ll never love anyone else. It’s always been you. Thank God you found your way back to me. Don’t ever leave me, Gracie. I can’t live without you. I’m not whole without you. The last twelve years have been so empty. I don’t ever want to have to live that way again.”
She turned her face so that her lips met the corner of his mouth.
“I love you too, Zack. And I’ll never leave you again.”
Slowly, Zack walked toward the bed, carrying Gracie molded to his body. When he got to the edge, he very carefully lowered her to the mattress. He straightened, staring down transfixed by the sight of her.
Unable to resist such delicious temptation, he lowered his head to where the neckline plunged to her navel and he pressed his lips over the shallow indention, fully intending to kiss his way up her entire body. No way he was rushing this. It would take all night and he was going to enjoy every single minute.
“I’m scared,” she said in a quivering voice.
He immediately raised his head to meet her eyes. And then he lowered his body so he lay against her side, his leg going over the tops of hers possessively. But at the same time, he made sure he wasn’t making her uncomfortable.
“What are you scared of, baby?”
She swallowed hard and then she turned her head to the side so she met his gaze.
“I don’t know what to do,” she admitted. “I’ve never . . . I mean not willingly.”
She promptly closed her eyes, but not before Zack saw the shame darken the brown depths. He had to work very hard to control the rage building inside him. This was too important for him to fuck up. He had to handle her very gently.
“Of course you haven’t,” he said. “But neither have I, Gracie. I’ve never made love to a woman in my life. How could I have when I’m only in love with you?”
She blinked and swallowed again and he touched his finger to her cheek, running it over her silky skin.
He leaned down to kiss her lips before continuing his thought.
“No one says we have to make love tonight,” he whispered. “We have all the time in the world. The rest of our lives. I would be the happiest man in the world just to get to hold you in my arms while you sleep and know that you’re finally mine. That you wear my ring and bear my last name.”
Gracie pushed herself up and over Zack, her eyes blazing in the low light cast by the bedside lamp. “No,” she said fiercely. Her hand slid over his chest until it rested just above his heart. There was sorrow in her eyes, but also determination. “I won’t let them take tonight from me. I won’t!”
Tears welled in her eyes and she leaned down so her forehead rested against his. Their lips hovered so close that their breaths mingled.
“I’m not afraid of you,” she said. “Never of you, Zack. I know you won’t hurt me. I’ve waited for this moment for twelve years.”
The last words were nearly cut off as she choked them out. He cupped the side of her face with his hand, drawing her down so their lips met. He stroked her jaw as they kissed lightly, the only sound coming from the soft smooching.
“I’m only afraid because I don’t know what to do,” she whispered against his lips. “I want to please you, but I don’t know how. I want this night so much that I’m afraid of messing it all up and making us both miserable.”
Zack wrapped his arms around her and rolled until he was atop her, though he made sure to prevent his full weight from crushing her. He stared at her with eyes that surely blazed as hers had just moments before.
“You will never disappoint me. You will never not please me. It’s impossible, Gracie. You married me today. You’re wearing my ring. You’ve taken my name. I couldn’t be any happier than I am right now and I don’t give a damn if we make love or not. Just having you here, with me, in my arms is enough. It will always be enough.”