Safe at Last
Page 8Impulsively, she slipped her fingers through Wade’s and squeezed his hand, startling him. She could understand why. She never initiated any sort of intimacy, even in the capacity of friendship. She had a carefully constructed protective barrier that surrounded her and she allowed no one to breach it, nor did she ever venture beyond it out of self-preservation.
But as she’d already acknowledged, everyone needed a friend. And losing one friend didn’t preclude the existence of another, as stupid as it was for the time it had taken her to have that particular epiphany.
Wade was safe. She was safe with him. And she wanted him to know she . . . trusted . . . him. She inhaled sharply at merely allowing the word trust to drift through her thoughts.
Because after Zack, and until Wade, she’d trusted no one. It was a lesson learned the hard way, and one that had been repeatedly taught, but it had taken the most devastating lesson of all to finally make her realize that giving her trust was akin to taking a knife and thrusting it through her own heart.
Her chin trembled slightly, but Wade, ever observant, saw it and reached his hand to cup her chin, holding it between his thumb and fingers.
“Don’t ever think it, Anna-Grace,” he said softly, reminding her once again that he wasn’t harmless, despite her observations to the contrary.
He was a dangerous, tightly controlled man whose vision of the world differed from most others’. The artist in her saw in bright colors—colors that had been dimmed for a long time until finally she’d set them free. But Wade’s world was steeped in gray and shadows. Much like the initial rendering of her Dreams Lost painting.
She shivered at the intensity in his gaze and swallowed nervously, because she wondered if she’d finally lost her mind. Befriending a man like him? Trusting him when she’d sworn never to trust anyone—especially a man—again? A man, who like her, seemed to have no friends, not to mention had the same trust issues she herself suffered. It could well be the second-biggest mistake of her life.
Simple friendship and the opportunity to reimmerse herself in the real world, where trust and friendship weren’t bad four-letter words and were a normal part of everyday life—for most people.
But she could change all that now. He was offering, unconditionally. All she had to do was what she’d already resolved to do. Accept. Make peace. Move on.
Let go.
Free herself from her self-imposed prison of isolation and loneliness, and embrace the future that awaited her with hope and optimism, two emotions she’d once taken for granted but which were now completely alien to her.
She was in control of her own destiny and she could make it damn well whatever she wanted it to be.
Hatred. Grief. Betrayal. Hurt. Despair. Sorrow. Regret?
Those things no longer had any place in her life and she refused to live her life that way a single moment longer.
She was living her dream. Finally. And she was poised to share that dream—her talent—with others. People who might reject her. But she was no stranger to rejection, and having been through the worst, she could honestly say that nothing could ever hurt her more than she’d already been hurt.
The only direction for her to go was up. There was no other option when you’ve hit rock bottom. She knew it. Wade knew it. And God only knew why he stuck with her. Why he reevaluated his wants and needs once she’d made it clear that she wouldn’t—couldn’t—return his romantic interest. And why he then compromised and accepted only what she could give him.
It was on the tip of her tongue to ask him why. But when she looked his way once more, he wore the same determined, piercing gaze, one that had always made her uneasy, because she knew what it was like to have the gift of reading others’ minds—their innermost thoughts. And Wade had an uncanny knack for always knowing precisely what was going on in hers.
FOUR
ZACK pulled into the parking lot of an upscale art gallery on Westheimer Road, on the opposite side of the interstate from the Galleria, an area known for its chic boutiques that catered to the fashion-conscious and wealthier crowd, or at least those who wanted to maintain the façade of wealth.
He wasn’t impressed with the outer trappings of wealth. He could be considered wealthy in his own right. He had a million. Ten of them to be exact, managed and invested by his financial advisor, Wes Coyle, who worked in the Woodlands, a suburb north of Houston that had quickly become a haven for the privileged.
With the guaranteed signing money from his contract when he’d been drafted in the first round of the pros, and then walking away after an injury in his second straight playoff year instead of getting rehab and continuing to quarterback, he’d been guaranteed financial security, even though he lived frugally, choosing to stash the money instead of running through it in just a few years.
So his money was secured, gaining interest in moderate-risk investments instead of sitting in a bank drawing a measly .01 percent interest rate, and he lived on the salary he drew from DSS. It was more than enough for his modest needs. It wasn’t like he had anyone to share it with anyway. No one to lavish gifts and surprises on. A matter he intended to rectify soon.
After his come-to-Jesus meeting with himself two days earlier, he felt at peace for the first time in more years than he could count. He had a sense of purpose. Direction. One that didn’t have a lost cause at the heart of it all.
Gracie was gone. Lost to him. She wasn’t coming back. He’d never have his dream. So it was time to get the fuck over it and deal. Find a new dream and live it.
He wasn’t surprised to see Dane already there, parked two vehicles away. Dane was punctual to a fault. Well, not even punctual. His idea of being on time was to show up well in advance of the appointed time. Zack was pretty much the same. He liked to size up the situation. Get the lay of the land and a feel for what they were signing on for. He suspected Dane’s reasons were similar.