Running Scared (Sentinel Wars #3)
Page 10Lexi licked her lips and nodded.
“There’s more green and blue than any other color. Plus, you feel those little sparks of power arching between us, right?”
Again, she nodded, but she hadn’t taken her eyes off the ring.
“Those are signs that you’re like me. You’re a Theronai.”
“No. I’m not.” There was more than just the heat of denial in her voice. There was something else—a kind of frantic desperation, like he’d told her she only had a week to live.
She couldn’t accept who she was yet, but he understood that. Like Helen and Andra, she’d been raised as a human. Once he showed her his world, she would come to accept everything soon enough, just like the other women had.
Lexi tried to pull her hand away, but Zach tightened his hold. He needed this contact to remind him there was still hope. Still time.
He made his voice sound casual as he continued. “So, this connection that we have allows the power to flow between us. The longer and stronger that connection is, the more power can flow at one time.”
“Won’t you run out?” she asked.
“I can run low, sure, but there’s more all around us, in the air, in the earth—everywhere. It soaks into me whether or not I want it to, which is why I need you. I’ve already absorbed more power than I can hold. It’s killing me.”
She was still staring at his ring and the hypnotic movement of colors within it. “And you think I can stop it?”
“You can siphon off enough to reduce the pressure. Enough to keep me alive. That’s why I need you.”
She was silent for a moment, and he gave her the time to absorb what he’d said. “And if I don’t cooperate?” she asked.
“Then I die—or at least my soul does. I won’t be one of the good guys anymore. I won’t care about right or wrong, only about what I want.”
Her voice was a thin whisper of sound. “I’ve never heard of this before.”
“It’s not something they teach in schools.”
“Yeah, well, I never went to school. My education was a little more . . . practical than most. I learned all about the Sentinels and never once heard any of this.”
It made him wonder just what she’d been taught and how much of it was complete bullshit. “I’m not lying to you, honey. I’m putting it all out in the open. I want you to know what I’m asking of you.”
“Which is what, exactly?”
He put his finger under her chin and tipped her face up so she’d look at him. He wanted to know she saw he was serious. “I want you to wear my luceria. I want you to be my partner. Forever.”
Her head shook slightly. Zach wasn’t sure she knew she was even doing it. “I barely know you.”
“I get that. I understand that this is scary for you. It’s all new and strange, but it’s not entirely a one- sided deal. You do get some fringe benefits.”
“I don’t care.”
She jerked out of his grasp and moved her chair back so she was out of reach. She didn’t even give him the courtesy of looking at him. “I don’t want it. I don’t want any part of your world.”
Zach ignored the insult and continued. “You’ll hardly age with the passage of centuries. We live a really long time, unless we’re killed in battle.”
“I don’t want to fight.”
Yeah, he wasn’t always fond of that part, either, but it was necessary. At least he had a purpose.
He scoured his brain, hoping to find something she would want—something to convince her to save him. “You’ll never be alone again. You’ll have a family. A home.”
On his last word, her eyes shot to his face as if searching for some kind of trick. “What makes you think I’d want to be part of your family?”
“You don’t believe me.” He could see it in her eyes, the way they narrowed with mistrust.
“I don’t know what to believe.”
“You don’t have to decide right this second.” He wanted her to—he wanted the grinding pain to go away—but he could wait until she was sure. “It’s a big decision. Ask me anything you want and I’ll tell you the honest truth.”
“Is this what Helen did?”
“Yes.”
“Is she safe?”
“Safer than she was before she was with Drake. Our jobs are dangerous, but we’re careful with our women. You’re rare and we take every precaution to keep you out of harm’s way.”
“So you coddle her?”
“No. Helen goes into battle against the Synestryn right alongside the men. We need her there, but we make sure that there are plenty of swords between her and the teeth and claws. That’s all.”
“And you think I’m like her?”
“I know you are.”
“Let’s assume I am. If I do this, you said it’s permanent, right?”
“Kind of. It’s meant to be permanent. You give me a vow, which was traditionally that a woman would fight by her man’s side forever. But it doesn’t have to be that long.”
“If it’s not?”
“Once the vow is fulfilled, the luceria falls off and you’re back to where you were before.”
“And so are you?”
“What if we have?”
“Then I’ll be out of time.”
“You’ll die,” she guessed, seeing through his euphemism.
“Yes.”
“You want to give me the power to kill you?”
“No. The power to save me.”
His hands were splayed flat on the table, where he’d been keeping them in sight so he wouldn’t scare her anymore. He didn’t want her to be afraid of him. He didn’t want her to be afraid, period.
Her eyes went back to his ring, which, without her contact, had gone back to a slow swirl of shimmering iridescence.
“What if I say no?” she asked.
Shit. Here was the sticky part. He had to be careful to be honest without scaring her away with his intentions. Regardless of what happened between them, he wasn’t letting her go. “If you refuse to help me, I’ll take you back to Dabyr and see if there are any other men there who are compatible with you—men you could save. You can have your pick, of course, assuming there are others like me.”
“What happens to you?”
“I have a few days left at best. Then I go into my final battle.”
“You mean you would let yourself die?”
“Rather than become like the things I fight? Yes. But let me be clear, Lexi. It’s not what I want. I want to live. With you.”
“You don’t even know me.”
Zach shrugged. “We’ll have years to get to know each other. I already like you. Given time, I’ll come to love you.”
“You don’t know that. You can’t predict who you love.”
“Sure I can. I’ve seen it happen dozens of times over my lifetime. Don’t you think there’s a reason that not all female Theronai are compatible with all the males? I figure that the magic used to power the luceria is smart enough to know who will make good partners and who won’t.” Slowly, so she would really hear him, he said, “You and I were meant to be together.”
He ached to touch her again, but she had stayed out of reach and he was doing his best to respect her choices right now. There would come a time when he would no longer be able to let them matter—when the lives of his family would take priority and he’d force her to go home with him—but they weren’t there yet.
“I can’t do this right now. I can’t decide.”
Disappointment nearly crushed him, making it hard to breathe. In all those fantasies of his, she’d always wanted him. She’d run into his arms and claimed her place beside him willingly. He’d never stopped to consider that she might not want him until now.
Zach wanted to push her, but it was a big decision for her. She had to make it with her eyes open. No tricks. No lies.
“I’ll give you all the time I can.” Two days, maybe three. It wasn’t long to convince a woman to spend the rest of her life with him, but he had to try.
“I’ll think better in the car. We should get moving.”
Toward Dabyr and all the other men there who would no doubt want her, too. He’d never once wished his brothers ill, and the fact that the thought even crossed his mind now proved to him just how little time he had left.
Lexi had practically memorized her mother’s journals and there was not a single word in them that supported anything Zach had said.
The Sentinels want your blood. They use it to fuel their magic. They feed it to their pets.
And yet she’d spent the night with Zach, had been completely vulnerable, and he hadn’t so much as spilled a drop. Maybe he was tricking her—lulling her into a false sense of security—but it didn’t feel that way.
Of course, her instincts had always been off where Zach was concerned. Nothing new there. From the moment he’d touched her that night at Gertie’s Diner, her world had been upended, and nothing made sense.
They’d been driving for hours and she still didn’t know what to think of his proposal. Spend eternity with him. Never aging. Never alone.
She’d have a home. After all these years of running, she’d be able to stop. She’d have her own bed, maybe even be able to collect a few things beyond mere necessities. It seemed too good to be true, and that was what worried her most. Anything that was too good to be true probably was.
Lexi watched the landscape slide by the window as they drove north. They’d slept in late, and hadn’t hit the road until well after noon. Now the sun was starting to set. Pretty soon, the monsters the Sentinels kept as pets would all come out to play.
At least she’d slept hard, was well rested and in better shape to face them than she had been in weeks. That was something to be glad about.
“Do you want anything to eat?” asked Zach. “We’re getting close to Wichita and there’s plenty to choose from.”
“Sure. That’s fine.”
“Anything sound good?”
Someplace with lots of people and bright lights. “Whatever is fine.”
Zach sighed. “I’ve completely freaked you out, haven’t I?”
“Little bit.” It was the understatement of the year.
He laughed and the sound rolled around in her ears, making her smile, right up until he said, “There’s nothing sexier than a woman who can make me laugh. Just thought you should know.”
“Let’s get something straight right now,” she told him. “Even if I decide to help you, and I’m pretty sure I won’t, there will be no sexy stuff of any kind between us.”