Riding on Instinct
Page 64“That feels nice,” he said, tossing her a look that made her melt inside.
“The kiss?”
“Your tits against my back.”
She laughed and rubbed back and forth, her nipples tingling as they slid against the smooth skin of his back.
He turned around and pushed her onto the mattress, grabbed her wrists, and lifted them above her head. He swept the palm of his hand over her distended, sensitive nipples. Her lips parted and she let out a gasp at the contact, the sensation shooting between her legs and ratcheting up her need to feel him inside her.
He rolled her nipple between his fingers, plucked the bud until she arched up.
“More.”
That seemed to be her favorite word whenever Spence made love to her. Whatever he gave her, she wanted more of it. She was drawn to him in a way she’d never been with any other man. His touch set her on fire and she craved more of it every time.
He bent down and took her nipple in his mouth, using his hand to cup her flesh and hold it while he licked and sucked the bud, rolling his tongue over it, nibbling at it, every single lash of his tongue and teeth sending shooting sparks to the nerve endings in her clit.
He’d released her wrists and she cradled his head between her hands, letting her fingers roam in his hair. She held him while he loved one breast, then the other.
“Please. Fuck me.”
She couldn’t wait, slid her hand between them to encircle his cock and grab tight. His head jerked up to meet her gaze, his eyes glassy with passion and need. He hissed out a breath as she stroked him, then pulled away to put on the condom, obviously as anxious as she was.
He rolled her to the side and lifted her leg over his hip, thrusting inside her even as he grabbed on to her and dug his fingers in her flesh.
Heaven. Hell. Torture and pleasure mixed as he powered against her with deliberate strokes made to caress, to tingle, to drive her mad. With one hand he held on to her hip, the other he slid behind her head to bring her into a kiss that melded the two of them into hot passion and tender emotion, the mix almost unbearable.
She tried to focus on the sex, the slick melting of her flesh against his, but the way his lips moved against hers seemed to be more than purely physical.
Maybe it was only her, but the connection she felt went much deeper than just a joining of their bodies.
Stop thinking. Enjoy this. There’s nothing more.
She pushed away the lingering emotion, the involvement of her heart, the way his eyes seemed to penetrate her soul as he moved against her. She wasn’t going to get involved.
She wasn’t falling in love with him. This was just sex.
“Come for me, Shadoe.” He rolled his hips, his shaft sliding along her sex, leading her along the path to orgasm. He did it slow, deliberate, grinding against her and shredding her control until she splintered around his cock with spasms of wild pleasure.
He held tight to her while she spun in a vortex of intensity. Her climax grabbed her in its clutches and wouldn’t let go, shooting through her with pulses of incredible sensation that kept going on long after she thought it would stop. She was dying from the sheer pleasure of it, held on to Spence, cried out his name as he continued to pump inside her and took her over the edge again, this time going along for the ride with a loud groan and a shudder.
Shaken, she laid her forehead against his, her body continuing to tremble with aftershocks. Spence stroked her back, kissed her, and her eyes filled with tears. She blinked them back, feeling weak and emotional, and she wasn’t the weak, emotional type. She was tough, dammit. She could handle this. Soon he would get up and leave and go back to his room.
He got up, went into the bathroom, and came back, then climbed onto the bed with her and gathered her into his arms. She laid her head on his chest, content to feel his hands stroking her skin. Her eyes began to drift closed but she kept jerking herself awake.
“What are you doing?” Spence whispered.
“I don’t want to fall asleep.”
“Why not?”
“Leave for where?”
“To go back to your room.”
He tipped her chin up with his fingers, made her meet his gaze. “I’m not sleeping without you tonight.”
She shuddered out a sigh, wanted to cry, and hated that she wanted to. “Oh.”
“Relax and sleep, Shadoe.”
It was all too good. Too perfect. A million things flitted around in her mind. The what-ifs, the impending end of whatever this thing was that was going on between Spence and her.
The fact she was falling in love with him, and knew how fruitless those feelings were.
But for now, he was here. In her room. He’d come to her.
Did anything else matter?
She allowed sleep to take her over.
SIXTEEN
SHADOE AWOKE ALONE IN HER ROOM. IT WAS LATE, AFTERNOON she’d guess. God, she was going to be so screwed up when this assignment was over. Staying up all night, sleeping all day. Bleh. Her time clock was messed up. She slid her palm along the side of the bed where Spence had slept, and felt a moment of melancholy sadness.
Get over it. Soon enough your life will be like this again. Sleeping alone.
When she got out of the shower her phone rang. It was Spence, saying AJ and Pax were at his room and she needed to come up. She dressed in a hurry and rode the elevator up one floor to Spence’s room, used her key to slide in, and closed the door behind her.
Pax and AJ were having coffee and breakfast in the sitting area. Spence was pacing. Shadoe poured a cup from the room service cart and grabbed a roll to nibble on. “What’s up?”
“Guess who visited DeLaud’s room last night?” Pax said.
“Who?” she asked, sliding into one of the chairs.
“Lance.”
Her gaze shot to Spence. “Cheri’s husband? Why?”
“Good question.” Spence frowned. “We’re trying to figure that out now.”
“Maybe he’s buying drugs.”
Spence shook his head. “He could do that from a lot of people, including the two guys you bought from yesterday, Pax.”
Shadoe scrunched her nose. “You think Lance is DeLaud’s connection at the club?”
Spence nodded. “It makes sense. We’ve suspected all along that DeLaud had a connection to the club, someone on the inside to help him make contacts in a legitimate location away from the docks.”
Shadoe thought that made sense, too. “He’s pretty high up on the food chain there. Brandon told me Lance takes over for him as manager whenever he’s away or unavailable.”
Shadoe nodded. “You know, Brandon offered me another bodyguard after Spence and I had our very public breakup last night.”
“I’ll bet you think Lance would make a good bodyguard,” Pax said.
“Why not? I’m already in with DeLaud. If I pick up Lance as a bodyguard and those two are thick as thieves, it’ll be perfect.”
Spence frowned.
“You’re right,” AJ said. “You’d be close to both of them.”
Spence still hadn’t commented.
“I’ll be fine.”
“I don’t like it. It’s too dangerous. What if the deal goes down and you’re right in the middle of it?”
“Isn’t that what we want?” she argued.
He dragged his fingers through his hair. “I guess so.”
“You’ll all be there to protect me, Spence. And besides, I’m a trained agent. This is my job.”
He nodded. “Yes, I try to remember that.”
He looked as if he wanted to say something, then slid his gaze over to AJ and Pax, who watched him expectantly. He closed his mouth and walked through the bedroom and outside onto the balcony.
“Dude, that was interesting,” AJ said.
Pax shrugged. “Never seen it before.”
Shadoe’s attention flitted between both of them. “What?”
Pax stared at the balcony doorway, then brought his attention back to her. “He’s bugged.”
“About?”
“You,” AJ said.
“Me?”
“He cares about you.”
She let her gaze drift down to her lap, to the cup of coffee balanced there. “Oh. Well, yeah.”
“Yeah is right. He’s about as fucked up about it as I’ve ever seen him. The mission is primary to Spence. Always has been.”
“Until now,” AJ said. “You’ve really messed him up.”
Shadoe snapped an angry glare at AJ. “What the hell does that mean?”
“He has all of you guys.”
Pax laughed. “Yeah, but we don’t fuck him.”
Her face flamed hot, but she couldn’t help but laugh. “I sure hope not.”
“Look,” AJ said, keeping his voice low. “This is screwing with his head. He feels something for you. He’s protective and concerned and he doesn’t know what to do with that. Normally he wouldn’t care if a fellow agent put herself in harm’s way. That’s the job, ya know?”
“Yes. It is my job.”
“But your job could get you killed. And he cares about you. As mission leader, he’s giving the okay for you to put yourself in danger. He’s conflicted.”
“Whoa. You studying psychology in the bathroom, AJ?” Pax looked appalled.
AJ snorted. “Yeah, I sneak in Advanced Psych textbooks under my Hustler magazine.”
Shadoe shook her head. But what the guys had said gave her pause. She’d thought her feelings were one-sided.
Maybe they weren’t. Which didn’t change things at all. When the mission was over, they were history.
But maybe she wouldn’t be the only one upset about that. It gave her a little bit of comfort to know that Spence might actually care as much as she did.
She stood and put her coffee cup on the table. “I’ll go talk to him.”
Spence was leaning over the balcony, staring down onto the street. Shadoe came up next to him and laid her hand on his back. “I’m going to be fine. I know how to take care of myself.”
He turned his head and smiled. “I’m sure you do.”
“Do you know I’m trained to kill a man with my bare hands?”
“I’m glad I haven’t pissed you off, then.”
She laughed, leaned in, and kissed him. “I’ll have a weapon on me at all times. I’ll be fine.”
“And we’ll have your back. I’ll be listening in via the transmitter attached to you. I get all that. But it doesn’t mean I won’t worry about you.”
She didn’t want him worrying, but she liked that he cared that much. “Thanks.”
He straightened and faced her. “I worry about everyone on my team. It’s my responsibility if something happens to you. I have to plot all this out so I can . . . minimize the potential for losses.”
“I see.” Now he was trying to pretend she was just one of the guys, that he didn’t worry any more for her than he would for anyone else on his team. “Good to know I’ll have you as backup, then.”
She didn’t want to push him, but she didn’t want him to pull away either.
She didn’t think she was going to be able to have it both ways.
After a long tactical conversation about the possibilities and restrictions of what Shadoe could and couldn’t do with both Lance and DeLaud, AJ and Pax left. Pax was off to see if he could follow up on the drug deal he’d made yesterday, and AJ to keep an eye on DeLaud. Spence decided to go with AJ to provide backup in case he needed it. Shadoe wanted to spend a few early hours at the club today to see what she could dig up from the girls. Spence said he’d stay wired to her in case anything went down he needed to be aware of.