Riding on Instinct

Relationships led to ties, ties led to marriage, and marriage led to bringing kids into the world. Having kids meant responsibility, taking care of someone other than yourself. His parents had failed miserably at that. Spence had done a good job at being a free spirit his entire life. He intended to keep it that way, not run the risk of fucking up some kids’ lives like his parents had done.

“You look deep in thought, and how long have you been staring at me?”

He hadn’t even realized Shadoe was awake. “A while.”

“It’s creepy. Or maybe really nice.” She pushed her hair out of her face and sat up, mindless of her breasts out for his view as she shoved a pillow against the headboard to lean on. She inhaled. “And is that coffee?”

“Yeah. I got one for you. It’s probably still hot.” He passed her one of the containers.

“You satisfy all my cravings. Thank you.”

He smiled at that, and watched her take a deep drink of the dark liquid, then lick her bottom lip. His cock twitched, and he resisted the groan. It seemed everything she did—even the simple act of drinking coffee—made his dick hard.

“How long have you been up?”

“An hour or so.”

She looked over at the clock on the nightstand. “Oh, God, it’s almost eleven already.”

“You keep late hours as a stripper.”

She snorted. “Yeah, right. This whole gig is going to throw off my schedule. I’m an early riser. I jog before dawn every day.”

“Not while you’re on this case.”

She lifted her shoulders and rolled her head from side to side. “So what’s on the agenda for today?”

“Last night you wanted me to remind you to tell me something.”

“Oh, yeah. That bouncer who stood by you talking while I was sitting at the table?”

“Yeah?”

“That was the guy I saw on the docks yesterday.”

“Lance?”

“I guess so.”

“Interesting. He’s also married to Cheri, who he said is the lead dancer there.”

Shadoe wrinkled her nose. “She’s a bitch and a half.”

He laughed. “Some of them are.”

“I don’t think she was very happy that I came in to steal her thunder.”

“I saw her dance. You have nothing to worry about.”

“Well, thanks for that. But tell me about Lance.”

“He wanted to distract me, I think, so one of the customers could put the moves on you.”

“Yeah, I had a couple like that. I took care of them before they got out of hand or before you had to step in to break their arm.”

“Too bad. I might have enjoyed that.” He didn’t like anyone touching her. Dammit, he didn’t like that it bothered him, either.

“Next time I’ll give you a heads-up, then.”

“I think we should keep our eyes on Lance.”

She laid the coffee cup on the nightstand. “You think he might be involved somehow in the drug dealings?”

“I don’t know. Something about Lance bugged me.”

“Well, I know Cheri bugged me, but it could be just her personality. I can work on the girls, try and get to know them better, see what I can find out. The dancers usually know exactly what’s going on inside a club.”

“Okay. Brandon asked me about you last night, too.”

“He did? What did he say?”

“He asked about you and me, about our relationship. I think he wanted to know how tight we were, if there might be room for him.”

She arched a brow. “Are you serious?”

“Yeah. Some guys aren’t so possessive of their ladies.”

“That’s . . . interesting.” She couldn’t keep the worry out of her voice.

“Don’t worry about it. I don’t share what’s mine.”

She tilted her head to the side and studied him. “Good to know. Since I’m not interested in being shared. It’s really an incestuous group in that industry, isn’t it?”

“It can be. Some are very loyal. Most aren’t. It might make our jobs easier if they all have loose lips.”

“Would it make our jobs easier if we weren’t so tight?”

He took a long swallow of coffee. “What do you mean?”

“What if we weren’t so close to each other, but . . . branched out a bit. Do you think that would allow us to gather information more easily?”

“You mean act as if we’re open to the idea of seeing other people.”

“Yes.”

He had to force himself to remember this was a case. They weren’t really a couple. He had no claim on Shadoe. She could fuck every guy at the Wild Rose if she wanted to in order to gain information, even if the thought of it made his gut twist.

“What do you think we’ll gain by doing that?”

She shrugged. “I don’t know. It was just a suggestion.”

“I’ll consider it.” When hell freezes over.

“Okay.”

He stood. “I’m going to take a shower. Then we can get something to eat.”

Shadoe watched Spence close the bathroom door. She picked up the coffee and took a few sips, pondering their conversation, which had both confused and enlightened her.

Waking up and finding Spence sitting beside the bed staring at her had made her feel warm, cared for. Actually, it had turned her on. He’d been studying her. She’d opened her eyes and peeked at him through the veil of her hair covering her face. He’d been lost in thought, his gaze focused on her face.

He could have thought anywhere. On the balcony, at the desk, even downstairs in the lounge. Instead, he’d sat beside the bed to look at her. A woman would have to be crazy not to be flattered by that. Her first thought had been to drag him back into bed with her for a repeat of last night.

Until he’d launched right into mission mode. Too bad. But she’d gone there with him, and then she’d made the suggestion about pulling off the act of being available to others, and she’d noticed the storm flare up in his eyes.

Spence was jealous. She allowed a small smile of triumph over that. She couldn’t recall ever having a guy jealous over her. This was a first and she’d decided to revel in it for a few minutes. Oh, he’d done a fine job of trying to cover it up, but she was a woman and a woman could read a jealousy signal from miles away. He didn’t turn down the idea because he thought it was a bad one—he’d turned it down because he didn’t like the thought of her playing with another guy.

Maybe they were only together for the duration of this mission, but while they were together, he wanted it to be just the two of them. And that meant no touching by other guys.

Her smile widened. She couldn’t help it—it felt good to be desired. And protected, even though she didn’t need to be. She was a trained field agent and could take care of herself, but this wasn’t at all like he was trying to keep her safe. He was trying to keep her to himself, which was something entirely different.

Something she liked. Something that made her stomach tumble and gave her a warm feeling all over.

She wasn’t sure she knew what to do with these growing feelings for a man who obviously didn’t know what to do with them either. He was clearly in denial over how he felt about her. She honestly wasn’t sure how she felt, either.

The sex, of course, was phenomenal. She wouldn’t mind continuing that. But she also knew herself. She wasn’t indiscriminate about sexual relationships. She wasn’t a party girl who went out and had sex with random guys without getting involved.

Involved being the operative word. And that’s what scared her. The same thing probably scared Spence, too.

Though it shouldn’t, since they couldn’t really get involved. When this assignment was over, she was going back to D.C. to resume her career, to get her next assignment, which would take her heaven only knew where in the world. And Spence? He would go back to Dallas, to Wild Riders’ headquarters, and get his next assignment from General Lee, which would lead him somewhere around the country, too.

They’d never see each other again. They worked for two different branches of the government, and lived in two different states when they weren’t working. Neither one of them had careers that were set up for relationships, so even though they’d enjoyed their time together, Shadoe knew they both realized this was nothing more than an affair—something finite. It would end.

The problem was, she didn’t know how to have an affair. Maybe Spence was better at it than she was, knew how to handle it without getting involved. She’d dated a bit here and there in college, had a few sexual flings over the years, but nothing that would qualify as a relationship. She’d had goals and ambitions, and falling in love would have gotten in the way.

Spence didn’t seem the falling-in-love type.

What a pair they made. Maybe that’s why they got along so well together. It would be easy enough for her to stop dreaming about a happily-ever-after with Spence when she knew up-front there wasn’t going to be one.

Not that she’d been thinking along those lines, of course.

She took her shower after Spence came out, passing him without a word. She pondered that while she showered, musing that in the light of day they seemed so . . . separate. Like actual partners on this mission, while at night they were more like lovers.

No wonder she was confused as hell. After her shower she did her hair and makeup and got dressed and went in search of Spence, who was sitting outside on the balcony. She took a seat next to him, blowing out a breath at the wicked heat and humidity that already made her feel like she needed another shower. The sun burned bright and hot overhead, not a cloud in the sky and no breeze to provide any cooling relief. Today was going to be blistering.

“Agenda?” she asked when he didn’t say anything.

“Nothing, really. Not until we hit the club tonight. Maybe we’ll go in early and mingle with the bouncers and the dancers, see what we can dig out of them.”

She nodded. “Time for me to get friendly.”

He slanted his gaze her way, looking utterly sexy wearing dark sunglasses. “With the girls, you mean.”

She propped her feet up on the balcony railing. “You’re kind of possessive with your women, aren’t you?”

He turned his head to stare out over the balcony. “Don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“You made it clear you don’t want me fraternizing with other men. Are you always like this with women you fuck?”

He paused for a few seconds before answering. “No.”

Honesty. Interesting. “Then why are you like that with me?”

“Because you’re different than most women I fuck.”

“How?”

“I don’t know. Just . . . different.”

She tried to keep her smile at bay, but couldn’t. “I see.”

“What do you think you see?”

“Nothing. Are you as confused about our relationship as I am, Spence?”

“We don’t have a relationship, Shadoe. We’re having sex. It’s great sex. We’re mission partners. When the mission is over, the partnership and the sex will end.”

She wouldn’t be hurt by that unemotional statement, because she knew he was trying to convince himself as much as her. “That’s what I keep telling myself. So why does it feel like more than that?”

“Maybe it does to you.”

“And maybe it does to you, too.” She stood. “I’m hungry. Let’s go grab something to eat.”

She left him on the balcony, refusing to turn around to see if he’d follow. If he didn’t, she intended to eat downstairs at the restaurant. She didn’t care. She was hungry and she wasn’t going to wait around to see what kind of mood he was in.